


Lord of the Shippers

by grimmystyle, hidden_messages



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Complete, F/M, M/M, finished bitches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-16
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2017-11-25 18:16:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 43,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/641651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grimmystyle/pseuds/grimmystyle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/hidden_messages/pseuds/hidden_messages
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall was alone. Not in the sense that he had no friends, he was surrounded by those he loved and cared for. But from Liam he just wanted more. </p><p>He wanted to share intimate moments with Liam that he would share with no one else. </p><p>But Niall didn’t know what to say or how to go about saying it.</p><p>His feelings for Liam were left trapped inside his mind and hidden behind a computer screen. </p><p>With a hidden identity, can Niall bring himself to confront those feelings he fears most?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

As soon as the boys stepped out of Radio 1 they were met with hysterical screams.

“HARRY!”

“OH MY GOD, LOUIS TOUCHED MY HAND!”

“OH MY DAYS, LARRY!”

“I SHIP THAT, OH EM GEE!”

“YOU ARE MY OTP, NIAM!”

Niall gave a cheeky little wave and hopped into the car as fast as his crutches could carry him, glad for the quick getaway – not that he didn’t love the fans; it’s just that sometimes they were a bit much. Especially when you had to hop everywhere you went.

Breathing a sigh of relief Niall leant back against the headrest and closed his eyes as the car pulled away.

He felt Harry turn round and shift in his seat to talk to Louis. Within seconds they were giggling hysterically about something Grimmy had done to Finchy, and Niall settled down to try and get a bit of sleep.

But for some reason the screams of the fans were plaguing his thoughts; he realised he didn’t know what OTP actually meant. Niall felt consciousness slipping away from him as the car trundled back home and he decided to find out when he had a beer and bowl of chips in front of him.

Harry and Louis watched Liam with smug grins covering their faces as he gently placed Niall onto his bed and tucked him in. Gently patting down the duvet he smiled softly as he leant against Niall’s wardrobe and watched the slow rise and fall of his chest, as he continued to snore lightly.

Then Harry started to snigger and desperately tried to smother it behind his hand. Louis elbowed him sharply in the ribs but he was starting to giggle too.

Liam turned to glare at the giggling pair, “Oh can’t you just piss off?” He hissed sharply.

“Can’t you just admit you like him?” Louis retorted and fist bumped Harry whilst the pair held eye contact with Liam.

Liam flushed as he marched towards them and pushed them out the door. “Get out! Now!” Liam knew they were right, he would have to say something one day. The problem was he just didn’t know how.

“Niall, Niall! Wakey, wakey!” A chirpy voice cried.

“Mwjfhwjjjk.” Niall mumbled, burying his face in the warm pillow.

“What on earth is he mumbling about?”

“I have no idea Harry, no idea whatsoever”

“Oi pricks, leave him alone. Go prank call Paul or something”

Niall yawned and stretched, waking up mid conversation. Groaning he opened his eyes and saw Liam shoving Louis and Harry out the door. Threatening them with various things such as no cuddling, which sent them packing pretty quickly.

Just the mere sight of him going all protective made Niall’s heart melt. Sure, Niall was the world’s most carefree mofo, but Liam Payne made that damn hard be.

Pushing his feelings into the back of his mind Niall smiled groggily as Liam saw he was awake.

“How long I been out?” Niall rasped, coughing a couple of times to try and shake it off.

Liam glanced at his watch. “About 3 hours?” He smiled again. Niall utterly under its spell, mesmerised by the way it was so effortlessly carved into his perfect face. “Sorry about those two waking you. I thought they were having a twitcam. I’ll just go grab you some food then I’m gonna head back to mine. I didn’t want to leave till you’d woken”.

As Liam headed back into the kitchen Niall fell back against the pillows, now completely and utterly wide awake with a head full of Liam. He loved it.

Niall had barely got his thoughts back in order when Liam appeared again with a huge bowl of Doritos and a mug of tea. He placed it on Niall’s bedside table and ruffled his hair, his hand sliding Niall’s cheek and lingering there before he made his way to the door.

“Er… thanks.” Niall mumbled stiffly, but didn’t see the slight fall of Liam’s smile as he turned away.

“I’ll lock the door on my way out!” He called as the door shut with a loud bang. Then there was silence.

Sighing, he reached over for his cup of tea as he mulled over the day. Then Niall’s thoughts short circuited, the fans screaming from earlier in the day rushing through his mind as a brain wave hit him faster than Liam’s right hook.

He hadn’t checked Tumblr. 

Now, Niall had glanced at Tumblr a few times, but Liam was more of an expert. He knew just how to completely turn the site upside down; just mentioning tumblr in various interviews seemed to do the trick.

And as he reached for his laptop Niall concluded that now seemed a good time to see what all the fuss was about.

After a few hours of googling, Niall found himself with a new insight into ‘fangirling’, ‘shipping’, various people’s ‘OTP’s’ and oh, a tumblr account.

He didn’t specify that it was him; neither did he tweet about getting an account. He fancied going all ‘incognito’ and finding out what the fans really thought.

And boy was he introduced to a whole new world.

He quickly realised the great divide between good fan fiction and utter bullshit, some written beautifully whilst others barely strung a comprehensible sentence together.

Another thing Niall cottoned onto pretty quickly was the various different divisions of Larry shippers. Some just shipping for the hell of it, some who lives were ruled by the pair, and some who were just damn scary.

In the midst of his tumblr education Niall stumbled on a rather peculiar post. It was entitled ‘Lord of the Shippers’.

And much to his shock, next to the post was an edited picture of himself with a crown upon his head.

Moving into a different position on his bed Niall settled down to thoroughly check out the post and it read:

‘All hail Niall Lord of the Shippers! Ruler of all fandoms, King of Directioners and all round legend.’

Niall smirked; he already liked this post a lot.

‘To take the oath of the allegiance to the Almighty Lord reblog this post and abide by these rules- Thou shall keep ones ships and OTPS strictly on Tumblr, Thou shall not ruin ANY relationships in reality and one shall always listen to the Lord’

Niall noticed at the bottom was a collection of Niam gifs. From their X-Factor days to the present. It was strangely moving, seeing his younger self with a very young looking Liam.

A tear slowly rolled down his cheek. If the entirety of Tumblr could see it why couldn’t Liam?

But what Niall failed to see was that he was blind too. Unable to see the love that Liam could offer and protection he could provide.

Niall shook his head and tried to clear his thoughts and steer them away from Liam.

Noticing that the post had only just been made Niall changed his URL. Well, if he was going to dive into the world of Tumblr he needed a damn good name.

He glanced at the clock on his laptop and saw the time – 01.19am. He’d been on tumblr for 4 and a half hours, and with a busy day tomorrow Niall decided to call it a night. Sighing, he shut his laptop lid and snuggled deep into his duvet and dreamed of Liam.

Over the next few days Niall decided against telling the boys about his Tumblr account. For various reasons, the main one being that Niall poured all his love for Liam onto the site, and the thought of anybody truly knowing what it meant was humiliating.

Each night he lay in bed reblogging and posting to his impressive pool of followers which after 4 days totalled 6,298, a number which Niall was very proud of. By the end of the week Niall found himself a councillor, a fan fiction reader and a completely and utterly addicted Tumblr user.

By the middle of October Niall had been a proud member of tumblr for a month and a half. He glanced over his calendar and realised they were doing promotion for the next few days; he would have to part with his laptop. And tumblr.

This revelation hit him head on, “Aw, shit!” He cursed.

‘What you done Nialler?’ A voice asked behind him.

Niall jumped about 6 foot in the air and turned round to see Harry leaning bemusedly against the wall.

Niall desperately racked his brains for an excuse, and as he looked down his eyes fell on one of his snapbacks in Harry’s hand.

‘My snapback!’ He cried with a much glee as he could muster. Crossing his fingers that Harry would believe him, considering its Harry it shouldn’t be that hard, he thought to himself. Thankfully Harry fell for it hook, line and sinker. He smirked and ran off down the hall yelling that if Niall didn’t get in the car soon he was going to sit on it.

Fortunately Niall’s tumblr ridden brain wasn’t so confused that he didn’t register the threat, and was soon charging down the hall way after Harry.

It was the last interview of the day and Niall was absolutely knackered, he wasn’t too bothered about it being a television interview. The hysterical screaming would ensure that he didn’t start snoozing.

‘And, now please welcome the cheekiest band, with the most hysterical fans, it’s One Direction!’ the interviewer cried, ushering the boys onto the sofa.

The interview seemed to flow well with each of the boys answering each other’s questions, saying things to try and put each other off, the usual really. As the interviewer rattled on, Niall remained in his little bubble, which was about to burst.

Because like so many others Niall believed that that on tumblr he would remain anonymous; his blog would never be the subject of a decent discussion. The strange fantasies and ideas that tumblr became a platform for would remain hidden in plain sight.

Unfortunately for Niall, life wasn’t that keen to play fair.

The interviewer then brought up Tumblr, which was a common occurrence. But instead of asking a trivial question that Niall was expecting she asked a question which threw him completely.

‘Have you boys ever heard of the ‘Lord of the Shippers’?’

Niall barely managed to contain his shock as he shook his head numbly along with the others, who still had no idea that it was him.

‘Well let’s just say they’ve been creating quite a stir on the site and have been revealing some pretty interesting things!’ the interviewer continued, thankfully oblivious to Niall’s discomfort as she continued to show them posts and pictures.

‘Well this is definitely the weirdest thing I have ever seen” Zayn giggled, as particularly funny edited picture of Louis came up. Niall had to allow himself a little smile, he was quite proud of that one.

The interview finished but the discussion about tumblr carried on during the boys’ journey home; Niall had to force himself to join in with the conversation. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Liam looking at him, brow furrowed. He chose to ignore the intense stare as he continued to chat with the boys about tumblr.

The car dropped them off at their flats and Niall stumbled out the car, fatigue leaking into his aching bones. Niall shifted on his good leg whilst fiddling with his crutches before he suddenly felt the ground disappear and he realised Liam had slung him over his shoulder and was marching him into the lift.

‘Tommo, grab Nialler’s crap will you?’ He yelled before the lift doors shut.

‘Can I get down please?’ Niall mumbled against the material of Liam’s jumper.

‘Not until you explain yourself’

‘Liiaaamm let me down!’

‘Niall,’ Liam’s voice was stern. ‘I suggest you explain yourself’

Explain himself. If only that was so easy, Niall thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall was alone. Not in the sense that he had no friends, he was surrounded by those he loved and cared for. But from Liam he just wanted more. 
> 
> He wanted to share intimate moments with Liam that he would share with no one else. 
> 
> But Niall didn’t know what to say or how to go about saying it.
> 
> His feelings for Liam were left trapped inside his mind and hidden behind a computer screen. 
> 
> With a hidden identity, can Niall bring himself to confront those feelings he fears most?

‘Niall,’ Liam’s voice was stern. ‘I suggest you explain yourself’

Explain himself. If only that was so easy, Niall thought. Liam set him down and he stumbled backwards; on a bad day, without his crutches, he felt like a complete invalid. Niall leant against the closed front door to his flat and looked at Liam, his look was just as stern as his words.

Niall coughed nervously as he looked down at his feet; he tried to quickly contemplate what he was going to do – was he going to tell Liam everything, or was he just going to lie? There was only one option here.

“What are you talking about – why do I have to explain myself?” Niall said as he looked up at Liam, his eyebrow raised; Niall swallowed nervously – Liam had known him for a long time, and he could probably tell Niall was acting out of the ordinary. Play it cool, Niall thought as he scratched the back of his neck.

“You’ve been acting… very suspicious, ever since that interviewer brought up the… tumblr thingy.” Liam said, folding his arms across his chest.

“What do you mean?” he laughed shortly, as he copied Liam and folded his arms across his chest. “I haven’t done anything of the sort!”

“Yes, you have!” Liam sighed, exasperated. “I saw the look on your face as soon as she mentioned it!”

“Don’t be so stupid,” Niall chuckled and shrugged. “Seriously, even before that interview started, I’ve just felt so tired, and a little bit… iffy. It’s been a long day.”

“Niall, I know you,” Liam sighed as he inched closer to Niall. “Something’s going on, and it’s not because you’re tired or… ‘feeling iffy’.”

“Liam, there’s nothing going on,” Niall sighed as he placed his hands on Liam’s shoulders. “I’m tired, so I’m going to inside, and I’m going to bed.”

“I’m not letting this go, Niall.” Niall heard Liam call as he walked inside of his flat and closed the front door.

As soon as Niall was settled on the sofa, his laptop open in front of him, he logged into the only place where he could really be himself, but without everyone knowing it.

Before he knew it, three hours had passed, and he’d done nothing expect press that good old reblog button; everything from his favourite picture of Liam, to the funniest moment from recent interviews. Niall didn’t want to leave his safe heaven and go to bed, but reality called and he did have another busy day tomorrow; more interviews and promotion for the new album.

As Niall lay in bed, completely wide-awake, he couldn’t help his thoughts trailing to Liam, and how close he came to telling him everything. What would Liam have said if Niall had poured his heart out? Niall shook his head firmly; Liam didn’t feel the same as he did, and Niall would be utterly crackers to let Liam know how he had been feeling lately, and his secret tumblr account.

Liam angrily rolled over in bed, feeling completely frustrated because he couldn’t sleep; he just couldn’t stop his thoughts from swerving to Niall and his shifty behaviour during that last interview. His face had completely paled when ‘The Lord of The Shippers’ was mentioned. Why was that, Liam thought with a groan. He just couldn’t, for the life of him, figure out what Niall was up to, and he bloody knew he was up to something. He wasn’t stupid, and he knew Niall was just brushing it off with the ‘I’m tired’ excuse.

Liam had also noticed how distant Niall had been lately; in the evenings when all the boys were free from work, Niall never wanted to hang out with them – he was always seemed to rush back to his own place, and always wanted to be alone. Liam hated it, if he was completely honest. He enjoyed being around Niall, he enjoyed his carefree attitude, and his bubbly personality; he enjoyed his company, full stop. And lately, Niall hadn’t wanted to share the company that Liam enjoyed so much.

Liam sighed heavily as he turned on to his back and stared up at the ceiling. What was he going to do about this Niall situation? He couldn’t exactly tell him how he felt, could he? Niall would run a mile, and their friendship would be in tatters; Liam couldn’t risk a friendship he valued so much, against feelings he wasn’t really sure about.

What a bloody mess, Liam sighed to himself as he turned back on to his side and tried to get some desperately needed sleep.

Niall groaned to himself as he heard a loud, obnoxious knock on his front door. He quickly threw off his duvet and jumped out of bed, realising he’d slept through his alarm and the obnoxious knocking had come from either Paul or one of the boys – he could picture them waiting for him outside by the car, growing more and more annoyed as the minutes ticked by.

“Shit, fuck, shit!” Niall cursed to himself as he ran around his flat trying to get himself dressed and presentable in only a few minutes. He threw on one of his trusty snapbacks before he sprinted, as fast as he could on his crutches, for the door.

Paul stood outside Niall’s door, arms folded, and his features very angry.

“Do you know how long I’ve been stood here?” He snapped and Niall sighed heavily.

“I’m sorry, man,” Niall said, looking down at the floor. “I had a bad night’s sleep, I’m sorry.”

“Get downstairs, we were supposed to leave forty five minutes ago!” Paul said and Niall quickly shuffled down.

The boys all cheered as Niall appeared from the building. At least they weren’t angry like Paul, Niall reasoned with himself. Then again, they were all probably feeling just as tired as Niall was, and they probably didn’t mind the delay in leaving to another boring interview.

Niall avoided Liam’s stare as he sat beside him in the car. He chose to pull his snapback over his eyes and he rested his head against the headrest, feeling like he could grab a bit of a nap during the drive to… wherever they were supposed to be this morning.

“Are you feeling better today?” Liam said as he shoved Niall with his shoulder. Niall simply nodded and Liam sighed heavily – another day of a Niall he didn’t really like. “Good. Now listen, I was thinking after work, we could maybe go out for a few drinks?”

“Nah, I can’t be arsed.” Niall mumbled with his eyes still closed.

“Niall, come on! It’ll be fun!” Liam said giving Niall a shake. Niall grumbled as he shook Liam off. “You’re always up for a drink, what’s so different now?” Liam snapped, suddenly feeling very pissed off with Niall and his sudden antisocial ways!

“I just can’t be arsed!” Niall growled angrily. Liam sank back in his seat, feeling a little bit crushed that Niall didn’t want to go out with him; what was going on – had Liam done something to him without realising?

In truth Niall did want to go for a drink, but he didn’t want to go with Liam; he didn’t trust himself around Liam whilst under the influence of alcohol – it could turn out to be a disastrous idea.

He sighed to himself as he snuck a peak at Louis and Harry; why couldn’t he and Liam be like they were, so natural, comfortable, and care free. Why was he so bothered about the boys, and what they thought about his feelings towards Liam; they obviously weren’t fazed by Louis and Harry, so why would they act differently towards him and Liam? He closed his heavy eyes and scolded himself for acting the way that he had been lately; his friendship with Liam meant too much to him, and he wasn’t going to risk it on feelings he wasn’t even sure about.

When all of the boys finished work Niall grabbed Liam’s attention before they all piled into the car.

“I think I will go for that drink tonight, if you’re still up for it?” He smiled to Liam and patted his back. Liam’s toothy grin made Niall’s heart flutter.

“Yeah, boys, we’re going out tonight!” Liam cheered as he jumped into the car. Niall frowned to himself; the boys were coming too? He thought it was only going to be him and Liam – that had been the signal he’d got from Liam anyway; or was that just wishful thinking on his part?

During the course of the day, and after a good hearty breakfast, Niall began to feel more awake, and more like himself. He apologised profusely to the boys, and to Paul, for being late, and for being extremely grumpy. And, he also enjoyed being around Liam, they seemed to click back into how they used to be, and it wasn’t awkward between them; Niall revelled in all of the touches they shared and

the sneaky glances they had – many times he just wanted to have a little peak at Liam and Niall had caught him staring; they both laughed it off and continued as they were; no awkwardness and Niall was so bloody thankful.

But now, he just felt deflated. Not that he didn’t want to spend time with the other boys, he just wanted to be around Liam, and only Liam; he just wanted to test the waters, so to speak. He was going to push himself – see how far he could go with telling Liam how he really felt, or just try to see how Liam really saw him.

He was, as tumblr had crowned him, The Lord Of The Shippers, and he wasn’t doing a very good job, if he was being honest. His own ship was sinking faster than he could have predicted, since becoming an anonymous tumblr user, obviously.

One post on tumblr the previous night, stuck out in his mind for the entire day; “I wish Niam were as close as they used to be. I just want them to realise their love for each other!”

And Niall did realise his love for Liam; after his thoughts about Louis and Harry, and how care free and comfortable they were around each other, he went into his day with an open mind, he didn’t question anything he did with Liam, he didn’t stop to think of his actions, and he realised that he did, in fact, love Liam, and he loved him quite a bit; more than he thought he did. Which blew his mind completely. He just hoped Liam felt the same way or he was fucking screwed; it had been a long time since he had been rejected – thanks to the lifestyle that he had – but, if he was to be rejected by Liam, it would be the first time he’d be rejected by someone that he’d still have to see every day of his life; how was he going to cope if he was knocked back by Liam and then still had to work with him, live in the same building as him, and see him hook up with different girls.

Back at his flat Niall changed into a fresh pair of dark denim jeans, white t-shirt, a grey hoody, and he put on his trusty white supra’s to complete his signature look. He decided against a snapback and instead, he took a great deal of time styling his hair. With one last look in the mirror he gave a nod of satisfaction and made to walk out of his flat and to Liam’s where all of the boys were meeting.

He took a deep shaky breath before he knocked on Liam’s door. God, it was like he was about to go on his first date. He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans, and then gave his hair a soft pat; just to make sure it was still looking A-Okay!

“Heeeyy!” Liam cheered as he threw open his door. Niall grinned sheepishly as Liam pulled him inside. “I got you a can in the kitchen. I’m just going to finish getting ready.” Liam smiled as he pushed Niall in the direction of the kitchen, like he didn’t know where it was.

He cracked open his can and took a huge mouthful; Dutch courage, he bloody needed it! His nerves kicked into overdrive the second Liam opened the door and greeted Niall with that huge adorable smile of his. Don’t fuck this up now, Niall said to himself as he wandered into the living area where the other boys greeted him pretty much in the same way Liam had, only it didn’t have quite the same affect.

He threw himself down on the sofa, in the middle of Louis and Harry, and settled into the conversation they were already having. After a few minutes Liam appeared and announced he was ready to go if the boys were ready to go. They all whooped as they stood up and started piling out of the building.

“I’ve been looking forward to this all evening.” Liam said as he casually threw his arm around Niall’s shoulder.

“Yeah, me too.” He nodded quickly, he could feel his cheeks heating up under Liam’s gaze. He’d be even more excited if it was just the two of them going, but he decided he better keep that bit to himself.

Now, how was this night out going to go?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall was alone. Not in the sense that he had no friends, he was surrounded by those he loved and cared for. But from Liam he just wanted more. 
> 
> He wanted to share intimate moments with Liam that he would share with no one else. 
> 
> But Niall didn’t know what to say or how to go about saying it.
> 
> His feelings for Liam were left trapped inside his mind and hidden behind a computer screen. 
> 
> With a hidden identity, can Niall bring himself to confront those feelings he fears most?

Niall was glad to get out; he’d been cooped up in the flat for far too long. But then again, as soon as they’d arrived in the private club Niall had been shoved into the nearest booth and told to stay there.

And he wasn’t very happy.

Niall was currently hunched in the corner with a deeply unimpressed look embedded on his face, his fingers clutching at his third pint of the night. Earlier the boys had agreed that they would take it in turns to ‘babysit’ Niall at the table but it appeared they were all mingling on the dance floor; leaving Niall with his phone for company.

Sighing Niall slowly shuffled along the seat and tentatively peaked over the edge to get a better look at the dance floor, and spied Liam dancing with a girl.

And although the sight made Niall want to throw a massive diva strop, he did acknowledge the fact that Liam didn’t look totally comfortable in the situation. Never the less, Niall was deeply unimpressed with the girl’s dancing techniques, all hands and boobs- no decency.

But suddenly Liam looked over and Niall ducked down, his heart pounding louder than syncopated music blasting from the speakers. Niall cautiously looked over the edge of the seat once more and just caught the sight of Liam and the girl disappearing even deeper into the throng of people.

A wave of rejection washed through Niall, and suddenly the evening wasn’t such a relief any more. Consequently Niall ordered yet another drink, and settled down to drown away his sorrows with drink and his dashboard.

Liam smiled weakly as the girl who had approached him led him onto the dance floor, and as they joined the mass of dancers Liam looked over to the booth where Niall was sitting and saw he was alone. Leaving Liam feeling immensely guilty. But as he made his way off the dance floor the girl seemed to pull him even deeper until he was surrounded, trapped, and cut off from Niall.

When Zayn eventually remembered Niall he stumbled over to the booth and found the Irishman slumped in his seat, completely and utterly wasted.

“Right, time to go home” Zayn slurred, slightly tipsy but no way near as drunk as Niall.

“No!” Niall protested weakly, “I want to go shipping, me and Liam have to go shipping”, he tried to push Zayn away but ended up falling off the seat completely and ended up in a heap on the floor.

Zayn hauled the Irishman up off the floor as Harry, Louis and Liam joined them at the booth. Niall looked up and saw Harry and Louis giggling away. and something in his hazy mind told him he should be angry at them.

“It’s yoouurrrrrr fault” Niall slurred angrily, “S’all your fault” He repeated, waving drunkenly in their general direction.

To which the boys unanimously agreed they should probably take Niall home. As they stumbled out Liam couldn’t help but wonder what was up with Niall, and whether Niall being as drunk as a skunk would make the truth any easier to attain. Somehow Liam didn’t think it would be.

Zayn walked with Liam and distracted him with meaningless chatter, and for that Liam was grateful.

“Don’t listen to him, he’s drunk. Started yelling he wanted to go shipping with you earlier” Zayn murmured as he shoved Niall into a taxi along with Liam.

“Shipping?” Liam’s face creased with confusion, he couldn’t remember for the life of him where he’s heard that word before. Zayn shrugged his shoulders in reply and slammed the door shut, tripping over the kerb as he turned around and wandered off to find a cab with Louis and Harry.

The cab drive home was quiet, and that worried Liam. Usually Niall would be the chattiest drunk but today he was hunched close to the window with his phone close to his chest. Almost as if he was angry with Liam, but ashamed at the same of his own actions.

Once they arrived back at the complex Liam helped Niall to his flat and as Niall went to shut the door he suddenly pulled it back open and yanked Liam into a tight hug.

Even though Niall was completely smashed Liam relished the contact, it had the closest they’d been for a couple of months.

The pair stood there for a few minutes clutching each other before Niall suddenly pulled back placed a wet, alcohol infused kiss onto Liam’s lips and staggered inside his flat and shut the door.

Leaving Liam with a hint of tequila on lips. The only reminder that it had actually happened.

Niall tripped over the corner of his carpet and landed awkwardly on the sofa, readjusting himself he reached for his laptop. SO he could enter the cyberworld where he could dream that Liam wanted him not that silly whore on the dance floor.

And as Niall fell deeper and deeper into the drunken abyss he started writing. He wrote a story about a girl who tried to have her wicked way with innocent Liam, and how only Niall was the one to have a place in his heart.

And by about 3 in the morning Niall had written his first one shot and released it to the world. Shortly after which Niall’s eyelids began to droop and he fell asleep, unaware of the scores of people reading his version of events, and believing them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall was alone. Not in the sense that he had no friends, he was surrounded by those he loved and cared for. But from Liam he just wanted more. 
> 
> He wanted to share intimate moments with Liam that he would share with no one else. 
> 
> But Niall didn’t know what to say or how to go about saying it.
> 
> His feelings for Liam were left trapped inside his mind and hidden behind a computer screen. 
> 
> With a hidden identity, can Niall bring himself to confront those feelings he fears most?

Niall groaned loudly as he felt himself waking up; he could already feel his hangover, and he just wanted to stay asleep – he didn’t want to face the repercussions of his drinking. He loved having a drink but he hated the hangover the next day.

He rolled himself over and ended up on the floor; had he fallen asleep on the sofa? He sat himself up and looked around his flat in confusion; he couldn’t remember how he got home last night – he must have drank way more than he planned to the night before.

Niall hauled himself up off the floor and shuffled towards the kitchen, desperately needed something to drink. He filled a glass with water and gulped it down quickly. He took a deep breath as he felt sickness wave over him. Oh god, he thought to himself, he felt as rough as a badgers arse. This was most probably the worst hangover he’d ever had.

Niall was glad the band had the day off today; there was no way he could function properly with the way he was feeling. He made his way back to the living room and he threw himself down on the sofa, and pulled his laptop off the table and onto his lap.

He loaded up tumblr and admired his ever growing number of followers. He noticed the number of messages he’d received over night was higher than normal. He was a little bit cautious as he clicked on the posts tab; he dreaded what he could’ve posted whilst he was under the influence.

What Niall saw next made him feel even sicker. What had he gone and done? He read back the one-shot he had written, and posted! Holy shit, no wonder his follower and message count had shot up. He had basically written down everything he wanted to happen between him and Liam while they were out last night. His heart raced and his cheeks flushed as he read what he had written – how had he managed to do that? When he clearly didn’t remember getting home last night, yet he could pen a pretty fucking good one-shot, with decent grammar and hardly any spelling mistakes. How was that possible?

Niall dragged himself away from the laptop when he heard a knock on the front door. He swung it open to see Zayn standing there with a huge cheesy grin.

“Good morning!” he said in a loud voice.

“Please don’t shout at me,” Niall grumbled as he stepped aside to let Zayn in. “How are you not feeling rough? I feel like shit.”

“All of us didn’t drink as much as you last night.” He chuckled as he walked into the living room and threw himself down on the sofa. He eyed Niall’s laptop curiously. “What you up to on here?” he lifted it up but Niall quickly grabbed it from him and slammed it shut.

“N-nothing, just checking… emails, you know,” he shrugged nervously. It was a good job he’d minimized his tumblr page before he answered the door. That was a close call. “What are you doing here?”

“That’s not a nice way to greet your mate,” Zayn chuckled as he shuffled himself to get comfy on the sofa. “Just wanted to see if you wanted to have lunch this afternoon?”

“What’s the occasion?”

“No occasion,” he shrugged. “I just thought it’d be nice for us all to get together on our day off – you know, just chill out.”

“Yeah… why not?” Niall shrugged as he joined Zayn on the sofa, he flicked the TV and they both got engrossed in Sky news. Random.

An afternoon spent with your best friends having lunch, should be fun, right?

Only Niall didn’t know half of what he’d done last night. He didn’t know about Liam and the confused state Niall had gone and put him in.

Liam wandered aimlessly around his flat, trying to think of something to do to kill some time before all the boys got together for lunch. This should be so much fun!

He was itching to go and see Niall; he wanted to talk to him about last night and… the kiss. But he knew how drunk Niall was, and he knew that he probably had no idea what he was doing. I bet he doesn’t even remember it, Liam grumbled to himself.

Liam was utterly confused. He wanted so much for Niall to have meant to kiss him last night; he wanted Niall’s feelings to match his own feelings. He wanted Niall to love him like he did. But that was never going to happen.

Liam briskly walked out of his flat and walked to Zayn’s; he needed to talk to someone and Zayn was always his first choice when he needed a good heart-to-heart. Liam lingered outside Niall’s front door for a brief second, he wanted so much to knock on and speak to him, but deep down he was too scared.

He knocked lightly on Zayn’s door but there was no answer, and he knew he was awake; he could never sleep in after a night on the drink; a trait about himself which he hated.

After a minute or so Liam gave up and he turned around to head back to his own flat. His heart-to-heart with Zayn would have to wait until later. As he got to his door he heard another door open and close, he turned at the sound of familiar voices getting closer to him. Liam’s heart raced at the sight of Niall walking towards him, Zayn in tow.

“H-hey, I um… I just knocked at yours, Zayn.” Liam stuttered nervously as he glanced from Niall to Zayn.

“Oh, what’s up man?”

“Err… nothing,” Liam shrugged as he looked down at his feet. “Just bored… I guess.”

“Well, me and Niall are going out to get a coffee,” Zayn smiled as he threw his arm over Niall’s shoulder. “This guy has a killer hangover.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s a killer,” Niall chuckled shyly. “Do you want to come with us, Liam?” Niall smiled sweetly and Liam felt his cheeks flush. He loved it when Niall smiled like that.

“Uh… yeah, let me just grab my keys and that.” He mumbled as he rushed into his flat, closing the door behind him. Normally he would’ve allowed the boys to follow him inside, but he really needed to pull himself together, and stop himself from acting like a bloody teenage girl with a crush.

For god’s sake, Liam scolded himself. This is your best friend! Stop acting like this!

Niall started to feel better after his second coffee. Him, Liam, and Zayn all chatted easily as they sat at the back of the small coffee shop. It was like old times, before all these stupid feelings started to arise.

Niall didn’t notice all of the lingering glances from Liam, nor did he realize that Zayn had picked up on them. Nothing was out of the ordinary for Niall; he was just having coffee with his mates. That was until Zayn declared he was going to the toilet, and made a remark that sent the atmosphere from normal to awkward in seconds.

“I’ll be right back, then we get out of here to meet Louis and Harry for lunch, and I can get out of being the third wheel of this date.”

“What is he talking about?” Niall chuckled nervously as his gaze followed Zayn as he sauntered towards the toilets. He didn’t want to look at Liam, had he given off any vibes that this was a date?

“God knows.” Liam sighed as he stood up and walked over to take his cup back to the counter. When he sat back down he decided he was going to ask Niall straight up about last night.

“So, um… about last night…” he stuttered nervously. “What was up with you? Zayn said you were acting really weird.”

“I don’t know, mate,” Niall shrugged carelessly, although his heart was racing. What did he do last night? “I was pissed, wasn’t I? Don’t remember anything.”

“Oh… right.” Liam sighed heavily. Did he remember kissing him? “Do you remember how you got home?”

“Nope,” he shrugged again. “Did you help me?” he asked quickly. Oh fuck. What had happened? He wanted to ask Liam but he really didn’t want to know what he had done while he was drunk.

“Zayn helped me get you into a cab, and then he got a cab back with Louis and Harry. I got the cab with you and… I got you up to your flat, you could barely stand.”

“What did I do, Liam?” Niall asked quickly.

“You… uh… never mind.” Liam shook his head as he stood up and made for the door. He couldn’t tell him that he had kissed him, especially because he couldn’t remember. He’d freak the fuck out, and probably blow up at Liam for talking shit. Liam decided to leave it where it was, untouched, nobody was hurt, and that’s the way it was going to stay. He wasn’t focusing his energy on Niall anymore; he was just going to be his friend like he was supposed to be! He was going to get himself over this silly little… crush, or whatever the fuck it was. Niall had other ideas though.

“Liam,” he called as he got up and rushed after him. He grabbed Liam’s arm to stop him from walking away. “What did I do last night?”

“Nothing,” Liam snapped. “You did absolutely nothing! Now let go of me.”

Niall was taken aback by Liam’s snappy attitude. He never got like that, ever! Niall couldn’t understand it; if he hadn’t done anything last night then why was Liam acting so fucking weird?

The meal was… awkward to say the least. Louis, Harry and Zayn did mostly all of the talking. Liam and Niall contributed here and there; mostly when a question was directed to them. But other than that they remained quiet, they didn’t even look at each other; they messed with their napkins or cutlery, sipped their drinks, or just let their eyes wander around the restaurant; anything to avoid looking at each other.

Niall was avoiding Liam because he didn’t seem like he was in a good mood, and Liam was avoiding Niall because he wanted to scream out that he loved him, and he wanted to tell him about the alcohol infused kiss they shared. But then again, he didn’t want to. He wanted to forget about it all, he wanted to move on.

“I’m going to the toilet,” Niall mumbled as he stood up from the table. He didn’t really need to go he just wanted to get away from the table for a little bit.

“What is going on?” he heard Louis hiss. He was on the other side of the booth they were sat in, and he was out of the boy’s sight. “Why are you two being so off with each other?” Niall presumed Louis was talking to Liam.

“What are you on about, mate?” he hear Liam sighed, and Louis tutted in annoyance.

“Liam, we’re not bloody stupid, you know? You and Niall have been off with each other all day. Now, spill – what is going on between you two?”

“Did something happen last night?” Harry piped up and Niall heard Liam nervously clear his throat. So something did happen, Niall thought to himself? If nothing happened then why had Liam gone all quiet?

“Well?” Louis asked shortly and Liam sighed again.

“Look… I, uh… I dunno if I should tell you.” Liam mumbled and the other boys sighed.

“Liiiaam, you know you can tell us anything. We’ll always be here for ya.” Zayn said and Niall could picture him with his arm protectively around Liam.

“Niall… he, uh… kissed me last night.” Liam said and Niall’s chin nearly hit the floor. What the fuuuuck!?

He didn’t know what to do. There was no way he could go back and face the boy’s; even if they didn’t know he’d heard all of their conversation. Niall pulled his hood up, put his head down and he marched out of the restaurant. He’d really gone and fucking put a spanner in the works.

He kissed Liam! He wrote that bloody one-shot that got the fans going to absolutely crazy!

What was going on? How had it all gotten so crazy? He only wanted to have a bit of fun on tumblr, for crying out loud!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall was alone. Not in the sense that he had no friends, he was surrounded by those he loved and cared for. But from Liam he just wanted more. 
> 
> He wanted to share intimate moments with Liam that he would share with no one else. 
> 
> But Niall didn’t know what to say or how to go about saying it.
> 
> His feelings for Liam were left trapped inside his mind and hidden behind a computer screen. 
> 
> With a hidden identity, can Niall bring himself to confront those feelings he fears most?

As Niall stumbled down the busy street he welcomed his anonymous identity with open arms. As he saw a secluded alleyway he took his chance to have bit of free space, which would allow him clear his head and steer it away from Liam

Niall took a deep breath, wincing as the cold air burned his lungs, but he welcomed this pain. It was better than the pain which tore through his heart.

But as Niall leant against the stone wall in the dark alley way he began to feel rather ill. He’d been feeling a bit off since he got up, but he assumed it was just his beast of a hangover taking its toll. However, due to his wobbly knees, pounding head and nauseous feeling he was beginning to think otherwise.

Gradually Niall realised he had to go back. He really wasn’t feeling good and was in no position to get home on his own without being papped, not when he felt like this. And if he just took off the boys would know he heard.

All he had to do was lie.

And he was pretty good at that already.

So with reluctance he staggered back out onto the busy street feeling even worse with every step he took.

Back in the restaurant Liam was finishing telling the boys everything about Niall and his stupid feelings that ruined everything.

“And I don’t know what to do” Liam finally sighed, concluding what had been an emotional overload for everyone involved. Liam had hoped that he would feel relieved that he had finally explained everything to the others, but he felt far from relieved.

As the group sat in silence contemplating a plan of action they were unaware of Niall’s sudden departure from the restaurant.

“Hasn’t Niall said anything about what happened last night?” Harry finally asked quietly, the first to break the subdued silence at the table.

“No.” Liam’s voice was barely above a whisper, and he buried his face in his hands as if it would just hide all his problems.

Zayn sighed and wrapped and around Liam and Louis moved across and did the same. As he did Harry got up and said quietly “I’ll just go and see where Nialler’s got to”. Zayn and Louis nodded in response before turning back to Liam.

Harry walked out of their secluded booth and into the mens loos. Which were empty. “Aw shit” Harry muttered through gritted teeth. A vanishing Niall was really not what the world needed right now.

But as he walked past the entrance he saw a very ill looking Niall staggering in. “Harr-” Was all he managed to mutter before falling into his arms, but he stumbled back onto his feet almost immediately with a ‘I’m fine’ but Harry just grabbed his car keys from his pocket and dragged Niall back outside. “Mate you’re really not fine. You look like shit.” Harry snapped before clipping Niall’s seat belt in and slamming his door.

Harry drove furiously back to the apartment block, periodically glancing over at Niall who was hunched in the corner of the car seat and gazing out the window blankly. And the fact that Niall hadn’t even uttered a word worried him even more.

After 25 minutes Liam, Zayn and Louis were a bit concerned about Harry’s whereabouts.

“He’s not answering his phone” Louis sighed angrily for the fifth time.

“I can see that you don’t need to tell me the hundredth fucking time” Liam snapped, but felt instantly guilty as hurt flashed across Louis face. “M’sorry mate, I’m just as worried as you are”.

Meanwhile Harry had got Niall home, but just as they clambered out of the car Niall sprinted over to the patch of trees and was violently sick.

“Oh sweet jesus” Harry turned sharply on his heel and walked over to the other side of the car, as Niall coughed and spluttered behind him. He deal with most things. Annoying paps, screaming girls whatever. Piece of cake. But the thing that Harry Styles could not cope with was vomit.

“I’m sorry mate” he called over to Niall as he pulled out his phone.

“S’oka-” Niall replied before he was sick again.

Frantically Harry dialed Louis number and tried thing of happy things that didn’t link in any way to someone violently throwing up.

“HARRY WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? AND WHERE’S NIALL?” Louis angrily whispered.

“At home. I found Niall but he’s really ill and currently throwing up behind the trees. I can’t help him, you know how I am with vomit. One of you has to come and give me a hand. Please.” Harry’s voice cracked on the last word. He felt terrible leaving Niall like this, and he couldn’t cope much longer.

He heard frantic scuffling at the end of the phone, along with some quiet voices. After a bit more scuffling Liam’s voice came from the other end of the phone.

“Is he okay? I’m gonna come and sort him out cause Louis has got to drive back up to see his family in an hour and Zayn can’t deal with it either.” Liam spoke frantically on the other end, his voice filled with worry and panic. “So yeah. Is he okay?” Liam asked again.

Harry looked round to see Niall crouched on the ground.

“Harry?” Liam’s panic stricken voice blurting out the phone once more.

“Just get here quickly yeah?” Harry said, striding over to Niall.

“Yeah” Liam replied before hanging up.

Shoving his phone into his pocket Harry reached Niall and helped him off the ground. He put his arm around Niall waist for support and took him inside, desperately trying to ignore the smell of sick wafting towards him.

Harry had barely got Niall into his flat before Niall was crouched over the toilet and being violently sick once more. “I’m sorry Haz” Niall said weakly. “At least I didn’t throw up in your car” He wheezed.

At that moment in time Harry had never felt more helpless. Just sitting on the other side of the door wasn’t exactly going to make Niall better.

Footsteps drew Harry out of his panicked state and he looked up to see Liam practically running towards him. “S’okay mate. I’m sorry I couldn’t help anymore. You’re knight in shining amours here anyway, I hope feel better.”

Niall wasn’t able to reply before another wave of nausea rippled through and he was sick once more.

“Right let’s get you to bed sickie” A voice behind Niall commanded and before Niall knew what was happening he was being lifted up and taken into his bedroom.

Then Niall realised it was Liam. His Liam. Liam who didn’t care what Niall did when he was drunk. Liam who had come to rescue him.

Liam knew Niall became very grumpy when he was ill, but still demanded comfort at various times. And Liam was more than happy to oblige, a winter vomit bug wasn’t going to prevent him from getting a Horan hug.

Luckily the band had 2 weeks off so Niall becoming ill at the beginning of it hopefully wouldn’t take to much out of their schedule. It also meant that Niall and Liam spent a lot more time together. Whether that was a good or a bad thing, neither was sure.

Niall took advantage of Liam’s absence to go shopping to go on tumblr, on which he created a post which would begin to reinstate his crown of Lord of the Shippers:

No ship has ever sailed on calm waters,

Sometimes when they hit rough waters they sink,

Some sink to the bottom, yet others just need rescuing.

After posting it Niall reblogged a few other posts before returning to dash and receiving the shock of his life so far.

Someone had added to his post and said:

Let me introduce to you the newest addition to the crew of HMS Niam-

Lifeguard Zayn Malik.

Along with the caption was a picture of Zayn photo-shopped in a pair of Baywatch shorts.

Niall felt what little colour he had drain from his face.

His ship had barely avoided the last iceberg. Could it really survive another?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall was alone. Not in the sense that he had no friends, he was surrounded by those he loved and cared for. But from Liam he just wanted more. 
> 
> He wanted to share intimate moments with Liam that he would share with no one else. 
> 
> But Niall didn’t know what to say or how to go about saying it.
> 
> His feelings for Liam were left trapped inside his mind and hidden behind a computer screen. 
> 
> With a hidden identity, can Niall bring himself to confront those feelings he fears most?

Niall was brought back to reality when Liam walked into his room, two steaming mugs of tea in his hands, and an adorable smile on his face. Niall’s heart fluttered at the sight of him; he was frozen, did he look away – did he continue looking at him like he was god’s greatest gift? Because, let’s face, he pretty much was, wasn’t he?

“How are you feeling?” Liam asked as he perched himself on the edge of Niall’s bed, placing their mugs on the side table. Niall snapped back to reality, quickly shut his laptop and slid it down to the floor. He made sure to compose himself before he spoke to Liam; he wanted to make sure his words came out in the correct form

“Uhm,” he coughed nervously; he couldn’t relax around Liam – he had drunkenly kissed him last night!! “I… uh, feel like shit.”

“What happened? You seemed to be alright before – a little hungover, if anything.” Liam smiled sweetly, making Niall’s heart flutter that little bit more.

“I don’t know,” Niall shrugged before he reached over for his tea; as he leant over his fingers brushed Liam’s thigh, unintentionally, making him blush furiously. “I… um… I just – I don’t know… sickness just came over me.”

“Well, I’ll have you feeling better in no time,” Liam beamed and Niall chuckled. He was the only one who could make him feel better; pushing all feelings aside, Liam was the only one of the boys who could deal with sick and whatnot. The other boys turned into complete fairies whenever blood or sick came into play. “I’m going to go and make you some soup, do you think you’ll be able to keep it down?”

“I don’t know… I can try though, can’t I?” Niall shrugged as he sat himself back against his pillows. He was kind of glad of Liam leaving the room; he needed the space; and he’d only been around him for a few minutes. Since hearing Liam tell the boys about the drunken kiss, Niall couldn’t think straight. And there was Liam rushing to his aid because he’s sick. What was he going to do?

Liam had no intention of making Niall some soup; he just needed to get out of the room for a bit of space. A few minutes of being in Niall’s presence sent him into a mush of feelings, and he didn’t know how to act. He really wanted to climb into bed with Niall and wrap him up in his arms, kiss his rosy cheeks to make him feel better. But at the same time, he wanted to keep that little bit of distance, he knew Niall didn’t remember the kiss; Liam couldn’t act all affectionate, could he? Niall would be freaked out!

Liam’s thoughts were broken by the sound of knocking on Niall’s front door. He opened it to see Zayn standing there.

“You alright, mate?” he smiled as he let himself in, patting Liam on the back as he passed him. “How’s Niall doing?”

“Feels like shit,” Liam mumbled as he closed the door and followed Zayn through to the living room. “What do you want?”

“Nothing…” Zayn shrugged and Liam sighed as he sat beside him on the sofa.

“Don’t lie to me, Zayn, you didn’t come by just to sit yourself on Niall’s sofa.”

“I just wanted to see how you were,” Zayn shrugged again. “After your little… confession and having to rush over here to save Niall… I just wanted to see where your head was at.”

“My head’s perfectly fine.” Liam mumbled as he picked at a stray piece of fabric on his jeans. Zayn looked at him with a frown.

“Are you not going to talk to Niall about what happened?”

“No I am not,” Liam hissed at Zayn. “He doesn’t remember it so… what’s the point in bringing it up? He’ll just deny it and… I can’t be bothered with it.”

“Liam, you can’t just let this go,” Zayn sighed as he grasped Liam’s shoulder. “I sat with you two at that coffee shop this morning… feeling like a bloody third wheel. You have to talk to–”

“Zayn, just let it go,” Liam suddenly snapped. “I’m not going to talk to him about anything – I’m just moving on! I’m going to be all I’ve ever been to him – his best friend – nothing more, nothing less.”

Niall quietly shuffled back to his bedroom from the bathroom, his shoulders slumped. Even though he didn’t want to admit his feelings to Liam, it still stung to hear him say out loud he was going to do nothing about the kiss. Had he felt nothing towards Niall after that? He needed to talk to someone else about his feelings, and the only person who seemed to be clued in on the situation was Zayn; and he couldn’t exactly talk to him right now.

Niall threw himself down on his bed and pulled his duvet over his head. If Liam was going to stick around and just play the best friend then Niall was going to just pretend he was sleeping, for now. He needed to get his mindset like Liam’s; he needed to just keep being his best friend – nothing more, nothing less. But he needed Liam to go away to do that; he didn’t need him fussing over him and being all adorable!

Liam trawled through Niall’s kitchen cupboards, quickly realizing that Niall didn’t actually have any soup. So instead, he settled for making him some beans on toast. He wandered to Niall’s room, tray in hand, his usual beaming smile, only to find that Niall was asleep under the duvet. With a quiet sigh he slowly retreated back out of the room. When really what he wanted to do was climb into bed with him.

Niall listened to Liam pottering around for an hour or so when he decided to get up and tell him to go home. He was still feeling rough but he wasn’t going to tell him that, and he hoped Liam couldn’t tell.

“Oh, hi!” Liam smiled brightly. “I didn’t think you’d be awake for a few hours. Is there anything you need?”

“Yeah, I need you to go home.” Niall sighed as he passed the sofa where Liam was sat and made his way into the kitchen. He didn’t notice Liam’s smile quickly fall from his features.

“But… I said I’d look after you.” Liam mumbled as he quickly got up to follow Niall.

“I don’t need looking after, Liam,” Niall sighed as he filled a glass with water. “I just want to sleep and I can’t do that with you banging around in here!” he drank down his water, his back to Liam; he didn’t want to look at him – he knew he’d have that puppy look and Niall was a sucker for it.

“I didn’t realise I was being so noisy,” Liam laughed nervously and Niall sighed loudly. Liam quickly cottoned on to Niall’s change in attitude, he shuffled nervously on his feet – what did he do; did he give a hug goodbye now? “Well, um… will you text me or… something, if you need anything?”

“Yeah, sure,” Niall sighed as he turned around to look at Liam. He instantly regretted it, for two reasons; 1, he felt sickness wave over him again, and 2, Liam looked too adorable to kick out. “I’ll be fine, promise.”

“I’ll see you later, yeah?” Liam said as he moved across the room; he contemplated on whether or not to hug him goodbye or not; he wasn’t quick enough with his decision so he ended up awkwardly patting Niall’s shoulder. Niall nodded stiffly and Liam turned to walk out of the flat.

When Niall heard the door open and then slam shut he quickly sprinted for the bathroom; only just making it in time to throw up the water he’d only just drank. His head pounded in distress as he got up to brush his teeth; he felt awful and lonely. Why, oh why, did he send Liam home? Oh yeah, because he needed to stop crushing on him!

Niall shuffled back to his bedroom and sat on his bed, pulling his laptop up off the floor. There was only one thing he could do in his lonely situation; head to his tumblr account – where he wasn’t the lonely pathetic Niall; he was someone completely different, and he didn’t have to hide his feelings for Liam.

Before he really knew what he was doing, Niall had written, and posted, another one-shot about him and Liam; one where Liam was looking after him because he was sick - it was perfect and everything he had wanted to happen, happened in the one-shot.

Niall fell asleep not long after, not realising that his second one-shot was a huge success amongst his followers; much like the previous, drunken-written one-shot. And he didn’t know that Zayn had tweeted informing the fans Niall was sick and Liam was looking after him.

Niall didn’t realize that the fans were quickly putting 2 and 2 together and actually coming up with 4. He was incredibly close to being found out; and he had absolutely no clue. He had no idea the drama he was going to wake up to.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall was alone. Not in the sense that he had no friends, he was surrounded by those he loved and cared for. But from Liam he just wanted more. 
> 
> He wanted to share intimate moments with Liam that he would share with no one else. 
> 
> But Niall didn’t know what to say or how to go about saying it.
> 
> His feelings for Liam were left trapped inside his mind and hidden behind a computer screen. 
> 
> With a hidden identity, can Niall bring himself to confront those feelings he fears most?

As soon as Niall had kicked him out his flat, Liam had gone straight to Harry’s, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He used his spare key to get into Harry’s flat and wandered in and curled up a chair.

“Liam what’s happened?” A voice asked.

Liam all but shit himself with shock; he didn’t know anyone was home! He sat up quickly and ended up falling off the chair. He looked up to find Harry and Louis curled up on the sofa opposite, staring at him curiously.

“Er… n-nothing.” Liam stammered as he struggled to get back onto his feet.

“Don’t lie to us, Liam. Harry, go and make some tea.” Louis commanded and Harry nodded as he untangled himself from Louis. As he got up and made his way to the kitchen he ruffled Louis’ hair; he just had to touch him, all the time!   
Louis and Liam sat in silence while Harry made the tea, with Liam staring at floor avoiding Louis’ gaze; which he could feel burning a hole in the side of his head.

Harry walked back in and nudged a cup of tea into Liam’s hands. Liam had to smile a little bit; Harry had given him his favourite batman cup.

“So?” Harry began, leaving the question hanging in the air.

“Well, uh Ni– um… Niall…” Liam tried to from a coherent sentence but his voice cracked and the tears overflowed, pouring down his cheeks. Liam felt 2 pairs of warm arms wrap themselves around his shoulders, rubbing them in comfort.The cup of tea was taken from his hands and Liam felt himself being lifted up and taken into the spare bedroom.

“We’ll talk in the morning, Li.” Louis whispered and pressed a kiss to Liam’s temple before walking quietly out the room and turning out the light.

Louis sighed as he quietly closed the bedroom door, hoping Liam managed to actually get some sleep.Things were getting complicated; he hoped that things would calm down before they went back to work. Or things were going to get very ugly indeed.

The following morning Liam woke up lying in a strange bed with his feeling twisted in an impossible knot. He wasn’t quite ready to get out of bed to talk to Louis and Harry; he just knew they’d be there, ready and waiting for an explanation. So, for something to do he trawled through some of the tweets he had received on his iPod, the majority of them said the usual ‘OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LIAM’, some were hate.

But there were a few very odd ones that morning. One in particular said: ‘I could never describe in 140 how perfect this is’ and attached to it was a link.

To tumblr.

Around 45 minutes later Liam wandered into Harry’s kitchen, following the smell of bacon and eggs.

Louis looked up from the frying pan, “Haz is in the shower. You okay to talk now?” He asked. Liam nodded in reply and once Harry returned, Liam told the curious pair everything that had happened the previous night. But he decided to leave out the one-shot quite a few people had tweeted to him earlier, for now.

“I’m gonna go talk to him.” Liam sighed eventually. “I’ve left my phone there anyway.”

“You want any moral support?” Louis asked, his head deep within the cupboard under the sink.

“I’ll be fine.” Liam said before hugging the pair goodbye. The walk to Niall’s flat was annoyingly short and soon enough Liam found himself outside Niall’s door, awkwardly bouncing on his heels while he rang the doorbell. Unsure of how he would be greeted.

—

That morning Niall found himself huddled up in his duvet, tentatively nibbling some crackers in an attempt to keep something down. After taking a good 15 minutes to eat one cracker and feeling marginally pleased with himself for not bringing it back up, Niall reached for his laptop.

But the sight of his recently refreshed tumblr page almost bought his recently digested cracker straight back up. As he scrolled down his dashboard feelings of utter stupidity washed through him. How could he have been so stupid? He should have known better; the majority of directioners were not thick.

But as one particular post caught his eye Niall felt his heart stop. He’d really gone and done it now. He read and re-read the words on the screen over and over again.

Although his one-shot had been a rousing success, Niall almost wished it hadn’t. His rising tumblr fame and muddled feelings for Liam had resulted in a directioner’s catastrophic question in his ask box – Are you Niall? Has Niall Horan actually joined tumblr?

Gradually Niall worked through his inbox trying to prevent this rumour spreading any further. Answering messages privately, trying to keep attention on him to a minimum. He decided to set up a queue for a couple of days, to try and sway people’s attention. Maybe I’ll write a Larry one-shot, Niall mused before a knock at the door pulled him from his day dream and back into reality.

Unfortunately, reality was quite keen on giving Niall a good kick up the backside.

After wrestling with the door Niall eventually wrenched it open to find a very nervous Liam on the other side.

“What do you want?” He asked coldly, his heart racing partly from the sight of Liam, and partly from the visions of his fanfiction running through his mind.

“Come to, er… get my phone.” Liam replied, smiling warmly despite Niall’s cold reception.

Niall nodded for him to come, his harsh expression still in place. Niall was so relieved Liam had come back but he was truly terrified that Liam might have read his fanfiction and discovered all about his silly crush and his tumblr account. Could that have actually happened?

“Is that all you wanted?” Niall demanded quietly.

“Er, yeah…” Liam answered, slightly confused about Niall’s attitude.

“Well, can you leave please? I’m still feeling quite ill.”

“Why?” Liam snapped. His frustration and anger steadily building, “I thought a loner like you would be glad of some company!”

Niall’s face contorted in confusion; why was Liam calling him a loner? He desperately wanted to reach and hug him, tell him he wanted his company, he actually craved it. But then again, he was trying to get over his little crush and he wanted to Liam to go away, in the nicest way possible.

“That is what you are, aren’t you, Niall?” Liam sneered angrily. He was sick to the back teeth of Niall treating him like he was nothing. He hadn’t done anything to deserve it, and he wasn’t going to stand for it. “You’re just… a loner with his laptop for company.”

“Oh fuck off, Liam I’m not in the mood for this.” Niall shook his head firmly as he moved to open up the front door, to show Liam that now was the time to get out. Niall felt humiliated, upset, and angry. Liam wasn’t supposed to act like this; Liam never got this angry. Niall had gone and fucked it up royally. Liam had had enough of him, he’d given up. He just wanted to argue with him to show him just how annoyed he was with him.

“You are a selfish, ignorant bastard!” Liam roared as he moved for Niall, slamming the door shut – he didn’t fancy letting the neighbours hear their little spat. “This is all the thanks I get for looking after you last night – you just demand me to get out of your flat, not thanks, no… nothing!?”

“Liam, sitting in my living room, watching the TV doesn’t really class as “looking after me” does it?”

Liam froze, he features turning from angry to confused in a matter of seconds; Niall was really sticking the knife in.   
Niall knew that if this were to carry on, the friendship they had built up over the last few years would come crumbling down in just a few minutes.

“You bastard,” Liam hissed as he glared at Niall. “This isn’t just about last night, it’s about… everything! I don’t even know who you are anymore – I bet your laptop knows more about you than me!”

“Will you give it a rest?” Niall said with a huff, crossing his arms across his chest. “I don’t feel well, I’m not up for a fight, so can you just drop it?”

“No, I will not drop it,” Liam shouted, his anger growing more by the second. Niall’s carefree attitude was really beginning to piss him off. Why wasn’t he seeing that they were falling apart? “I need to get through to you – why won’t you let me – why won’t you talk to me?”

Niall’s heart was pounding uncomfortably fast; he didn’t want to cross that invisible line; the one that defined if you were in a friendship or… something more. He wished he had the balls to just spit everything out to Liam, but instead he swallowed hard, gazing at Liam, trying to not let Liam’s pained features affect him.

“There’s nothing to talk about – just get the fuck out of my flat!” Niall shouted right back at Liam, not backing down even though he knew he’d hurt Liam so much.

Before Liam could react to Niall’s shouting Louis and Harry burst into the flat, breathing heavily and out of breath.

“Right, calm down guys.” Harry said calmly, his eyes flicking to the pair in front of him who was dangerously close and angrily glaring at each other. Louis walked over to Niall, took his arm and started to walk him towards the bedroom. Niall’s eyes remained on Liam, glaring angrily; he knew he should apologise but he instead he shoved Louis away from him and stomped into his room, slamming the door shut.

“One day you’re going to need me, Niall and I won’t fucking be here!” Liam shouted to the closed bedroom door before Harry gripped his arms and led him out of the flat. What on earth was going to happen next?

Zayn meanwhile, had been doing a little bit of his own research into tumblr. And after a round of particularly hot sex Zayn and Perrie hit the jackpot.

“So, it is Niall… that’s his tumblr?” Perrie whispered excitedly, craning her neck to get a good look at the laptop screen.

“Yup, there’s no doubt about it,” Zayn grinned, cigarette wobbling between his lips. “And we are going to have a bit of fun, my fellow partner in crime!”

And just over an hour later Zayn and Perrie had set up a tumblr account (LordOfTheShippersPA) and a twitter account (@LOTSpa).

“Time to freak him out” Zayn chuckled darkly and between them the pair began to write the most confusing thing Niall Horan would ever set his eyes on.

Zayn and Perrie were highly amused, and completely oblivious to the drama that just unfolded in Niall’s flat.

—

“I just don’t get why he’s so shifty and weird with me at the moment. We used to be so good and then, ever since that weird tumblr interview he’s been really off with me. Have I done anything, should I go and apologise?”

Harry giggled softly, “Li, can’t you just forget about that tumblr thing for 5 minutes?”

“But-”

“But… nothing, Liam. Look, when you realise that this has got nothing to do with tumblr?” Harry said with a playful grin, Liam frowned at him; was he going to make sense any time soon? “Have you never actually stopped to think that… Niall might actually like you?”

“But. What? No, no, no,” Liam stuttered nervously as he threw himself down on the sofa. “Have you not noticed that Niall hates me at the moment?” Liam sighed heavily, falling into a thoughtful silence.

“Look, boys can you just go over and make sure he’s alright. I’d hate to think our argument has made him feel even worse.”

Harry shook his head in disbelief as he walked out of his front door and across the hall; Niall didn’t deserve Liam half the time. Even after their argument Liam was still ready to forgive and forget, and Harry could bet that the Irishman was going to hold on to his anger for a while; it was just in his nature – Irish heritage and all that shit, they were genetically programmed to defend themselves.

Dear god, I hope this doesn’t drag on and on, Harry thought with a sigh. He didn’t fancy working with the two of them bitching at each other.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall was alone. Not in the sense that he had no friends, he was surrounded by those he loved and cared for. But from Liam he just wanted more.
> 
> He wanted to share intimate moments with Liam that he would share with no one else.
> 
> But Niall didn’t know what to say or how to go about saying it.
> 
> His feelings for Liam were left trapped inside his mind and hidden behind a computer screen.
> 
> With a hidden identity, can Niall bring himself to confront those feelings he fears most?

A few days passed and the boys had all taken a bit of space from each other; with the exception of Louis and Harry, they were attached at the bloody hip. Niall ate and slept off his sickness bug - he kept away from his tumblr; to allow the dust to settle from his fanfics. Liam stayed in his flat doing what he loved to do; talking to the fans on twitter, and he even surprised them with a twitcam - it didn't last for long because the fans asked where the other boys were and Liam thought of Niall, and his thoughts trailed back to the fight they had. The fans speculated for hours about Liam, and why he was looking so sad. They didn't miss a bloody thing.

Zayn spent a few days with Perrie; they got too involved in their LOTSpa twitter and tumblr - they were having way too much fun interacting with the fans - they found out quite a bit of information; the fans absolutely 100% believed Niall and Liam were in love, but they were too shy to just admit it to each other.

"Are they really in love with each other?" Perrie asked airily and Zayn frowned at her.

"You're so clueless sometimes," Zayn chuckled and Perrie slapped his arm. "You are! What have been doing while I've been on Niall tumblr page? I told you it was him - why would he make that account and write... that fanfic if he wasn't in love with Liam?"

"I thought it was a... joke?" She shrugged innocently and Zayn laughed before he kissed her forehead.

"No babe, this is all very real."

"You know... thinking about it, they do act differently with each other..." Perrie mused and Zayn noticed Niall's tumblr account had been updated; he was actually online. "It’s cute, isn't it babe?"

"Yeah, yeah." Zayn said absent minded; he was more interested in what Niall was going to reply to the messages Zayn had sent. "Get ready for some entertainment here, babe." Zayn said as he clapped his hands in excitement.

\--

Niall went into his inbox and back out of it hundreds of times; he just didn't know how to reply to the messages he'd been sent while he was offline. Someone had made an account under his tumblr name but with PA added to it. It was probably a fan trying to catch him out, he had to be extra careful with he posted.

The PA, whoever they were, hadn't posted that much on their own blog; only reblogging whatever Niall had posted himself. Niall also noticed that they had made a twitter account as well, under the same name, and they posted links to Niall's blog only. They had also been talking to fans, getting opinions on the mysterious owner of the LordOfTheShippers tumblr; some speculated it to be Niall, and some speculated it to just be a fan.

Niall decided to answer all of the PA's questions, and he'd answer them privately.

"I know you're Niall, and you're pretending to be a fan." "No I'm not... I'm just a regular fan :)"

"Great fanfic :) didn't you and Liam go out for dinner the other night?" "No I didn't go out with Liam. Like I said, I'm just a fan."

"You and Liam are in love, why don't you just admit it?" "I AM NOT NIALL!"

Niall decided not to send the last message privately; he wanted to get the attention off him and onto... anything else going on in the fandom. He contemplated deleting his tumblr, but he enjoyed it and if he deleted, it would make him look a little bit guilty.

Niall slammed his laptop shut and he got up from the sofa to grab himself a drink from the kitchen. How had it all spiralled down to this? He only wanted a place where he could go and share his love for Liam and for nobody to know who it really was. But now everyone was genuinely convinced it was him. I wish I could turn back time, Niall grumbled to himself.

Niall's thoughts were broken when he heard a knock on his front door. He contemplated ignoring it but he hadn't seen the boys for a few days and he was kind of craving a bit of company.

Niall swung the door open to see Louis standing there with his trademark wide smile.

"Hi! You're coming shopping with me, so go and get yourself dressed." Louis said as he moved past Niall and into the flat.

"And what if I don't want to go shopping with you?" Niall sighed as he shut the door and followed Louis as he wandered through to the living room.

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice. I haven't seen you for days, Harry's gone out, and I don't want to shop on my own."

"You're lucky I actually need to pick up a few bits." Niall mumbled as he walked to his bedroom to change out of his sweats.

Once he was dressed Niall grabbed one of his trusty snapbacks and his phone before he walked to the living room, announcing to Louis that he was ready to go.

There was no conversation during the short walk down to the car park. Niall desperately wanted to ask Louis if he had seen or spoken to Liam, but he didn't want Louis to bring up the argument that erupted just a few days ago.

"What a great song!" Louis chuckled as he started the car and Kiss You came through the speakers. Niall laughed shortly and nodded his head in agreement.

"Oh god," Niall giggled to himself. "The filming of this video was hilarious, wasn't it?"

"Oh yeah," Louis agreed. "The funniest shoot I think we’ll ever have. I don’t I’ll ever quite recover from Harry and those bloody skis!” Louis chuckled loudly and Niall couldn’t help but join in- Louis laugh was irresistible. “Oh, but the best bit was when Liam fell flat on his face and you were convinced he had to go to A&E” Louis wheezed when the pair of them managed to get their breath back.

Niall’s laughed suddenly left him. He knew the subject would eventually turn to Liam, but he didn’t feel quite ready to go there yet.

Niall fell quiet as he thought back just a few short months; things weren't complicated back then. He and Liam weren't arguing over nothing, and Niall wasn't torn over his feelings for his best friend.

"What are you thinking about?" Louis asked as he stopped at a red light and looked at Niall.

"Things are...different to back then - when we filmed the video."

"What are you talking about, mate?" Louis frowned at him before he moved off with the London traffic.

"Nothing... it doesn't matter." Niall sighed as he looked out of his window at the passing streets.

"Don't shut down on me now, Niall," Louis muttered, trying to not sound cheesed off with his best friend. "I'm always here for you, you know? So, come on talk to me, I'm listening."

"I don't know... I don't know what's going on, Lou." Niall huffed as he turned to look at Louis, his attention was on the road, but his eyebrows knotted together.

"Are you talking about... you and Liam?" Louis asked after a minute or two.

Niall took a deep breath; this would be the first time he'd spoken to anyone about his feelings; except his tumblr, but that didn't really count. He thought about shutting down the conversation but Louis was his friend and Niall trusted him with his life, and he knew Louis wouldn't judge him or anything. And he certainly wouldn't tell any of the boys about their conversation.

"I know... about the other night - when we went out for drinks... I heard Liam tell you guys what I did."

"But...do you remember doing it?" Louis asked and Niall quickly shook his head. "Did you... did you want to do it?"

Niall slowly nodded his head, his heart pounding hard against his chest. This was the first time he had really admitted it, not only to himself but to another person; as opposed to tumblr, or whatever.

"Please don't say anything..." Niall looked at Louis, pleading with his eyes. "I'm... in limbo at the moment. I don't know what's going on... I'm not sure of my feelings."

"Don't worry, pal," Louis smiled as he reached over to pat Niall on the top of his head. "It’s not my place to say anything to anyone. Do you want some advice?"

Niall nodded again. "Yes please, because... I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do."

"Just... don't shut Liam out, ok?" Louis said to which Niall nodded. "He's probably just as confused as you are - I mean, you kissed him whilst you were pissed, how do you think he's feeling?"

"You're right," Niall sighed sadly. "I should talk to him, and not shut him out."

\--

Over an hour later and Niall and Louis arrived back from their shopping trip. Liam was heading into the building as Louis was parking his car. Niall's heart began to race at the sight of him.

"Quick," Louis said, nudging Niall. "Go and catch him before he gets up to his flat!"

"I- uh, should I... I don't know." Niall stuttered nervously as he glanced over his shoulder to where Liam was walking, his headphones in, bopping his head to whatever song he was listening to.

"You said before that you should talk to him - here's your chance!"

Niall nodded his head before he sprinted off to catch up to Liam, his head spinning and his heart racing.

"Liam!" He called from the bottom of the stairs. "Wait up, Liam."

"Now I'm here in a sticky situation. Got a little trouble, yep and now I'm pacing. Five minutes, ten minutes, now it's been an hour. Uh don't wanna think too hard, but I'm sour. Uh oh, I can’t seem to let you go” Niall watched, a few paces behind Liam, his eyes absent mindedly wandering down Liam’s sweaty body as Liam unintentionally performed a little bit of a dance routine as he walked along.

Not that Niall was complaining. Liam was one of the few people who looked good after going for a jog.

“Honest baby, I'll do anything you want to, so we can finish what we started, don't you leave me broken hearted tonight." Liam sang and Niall found himself frowning at the choice of song from Liam. It could be a random song on his playlist, but the lyrics tugged on Niall's heart strings.

“You're replaying in my brain, find it hard to sleep, uh oh” Niall froze at that point, the song lyrics ringing far too many bells for his liking.

 What if Liam had directed the song to Niall? Niall shook his head at his own stupid thought; he was going crazy.

"Liam," Niall called as he caught up to Liam, tapping him on the shoulder. He spun around quickly.

"Oh, sorry mate, I couldn't hear you." Liam smiled as he pulled out his headphones. Niall looked down at his feet, to hide his flaming cheeks from Liam.

"You alright?" Liam asked as he pulled out his keys to open his front door, he turned to Niall and motioned for him to follow him into the flat.

"Yeah...not bad," Niall nodded as he followed him. "I just... I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh, what do you want to talk about?" Liam asked airily as he walked into the living room and chucked his phone on the sofa, before he threw himself down.

Niall shuffled to the opposite sofa and sat himself down. "I, uh... I just wanted to apologise...um, for the other night - for having a go at you. I was feeling rotten and I took it out on you. So, I'm sorry." While Niall nervously ranted off his apology he kept his gaze fixed on the floor, afraid of Liam rejecting his apology. Niall didn't see the small smile playing on Liam's mouth while he listened to Niall's apology. He didn't really care about him apologising or not, he was just glad Niall was here and they were talking; even if it was just a hello and how are you.

"Don't worry about it, mate," Liam smiled as he stood up and gave Niall an awkward sideways hug. "You weren't well and I was probably being annoying, so I'm sorry too."

"So, we're good?" Niall asked with a cheeky grin and Liam nodded quickly.

Niall was glad they were back on track, but he couldn't help thinking about how long it would last. He had chickened out on talking about the drunken kiss; he just wanted to get back on talking terms with Liam, he didn't want to make things complicated. Niall was going to talk about it, he just didn't know when, or how he was going to approach the subject.

\--

Zayn giggled to himself as he read Niall's replies, he was enjoying himself too much. But he wanted to add a little more drama to the works; he had to add a little information as to who he was to Niall.

"Are you going to be able to handle it when you and Liam are in the same room as each other for an entire day, getting naked in front of each other and everything :) Have fun on Monday!"

That message will send Niall crazy, Zayn chuckled to himself. The boys had a photo-shoot booked for the next few days - nobody but their team knew about it. Zayn knew Niall would read the message and he'd freak out, thinking about which boy would be so sly as to secretly send a bunch of cryptic messages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come and find me on tumblr if you've got any feedback/ requests :) 
> 
> zipzapzialler.tumblr.com


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall was alone. Not in the sense that he had no friends, he was surrounded by those he loved and cared for. But from Liam he just wanted more.
> 
> He wanted to share intimate moments with Liam that he would share with no one else.
> 
> But Niall didn’t know what to say or how to go about saying it.
> 
> His feelings for Liam were left trapped inside his mind and hidden behind a computer screen.
> 
> With a hidden identity, can Niall bring himself to confront those feelings he fears most?

As Zayn correctly predicted, Niall almost had kittens when he saw the message in his inbox. 

“Are you going to be able to handle it when you and Liam are in the same room as each other for an entire day, getting naked in front of each other and everything :) Have fun on Monday!”

“Of course I’ll be able to bloody handle it” Niall muttered angrily, storming around his flat doing nothing in particular. That message had been playing on his mind for far too long; he could hardly concentrate on anything else. All that Niall knew it was definitely someone who knew him, but someone who clearly wanted to mess with his brain. So instead of replying to the ask privately he just posted ‘Tired of that cryptic bullshit’ with no tags or titles; and waiting to see if LOTSpa was paying as much attention as they boasted, waiting to see if they would see his answer to their question.

As it happens they were. 

“Zaynnn” Perrie screeched from Zayn’s bedroom. 

Sighing, Zayn picked up the two cups of tea and slowly padded down the corridor; wondering if Perrie was really that desperate for round four. 

“Zaynnnnnn” 

“I’m coming!” He yelled, becoming increasingly annoyed at Perrie’s whining.

“Get your arse in here now you twat, he’s replied!” 

At that comment Zayn walked as fast as could into his bedroom, well as fast as he could whilst holding two cups of scalding tea. He placed the tea on his bed side table and all but tackled the laptop from Perrie. 

“Well?” Perrie asked, watching as Zayn’s smile became impossibly wide. “What does he mean? The messages weren’t exactly hard to work out.” Her forehead creased in concentration as she tried to figure out the answer to her own question. 

“It means the man is absolutely fucking clueless!” Zayn cried gleefully, clapping his hands together like a little child.  
“And?”

Zayn rolled his eyes. “It’s time to let him stew.”

\---

“LIAM”

“Coming!” Liam groaned as he dragged himself towards the door. It was too early and he really wasn’t in the mood to stand around posing in front of a camera all day.   
“YOU’RE KIDDING ME!”

Liam wrenched open the door and glared at Harry; who was failing spectacularly to keep a straight face. 

“Your face Li! Honestly, I was joking!” 

Liam just grunted in response and locked his door before striding down the corridor ignoring Harry’s immature giggling.  
In the lift, Liam could Harry’s eye unintentionally, and consequently caught his giggles too. By the time the pair reached car park they were both red in the face, wheezing, and could barely stand up straight. 

Zayn opened the door, and did double take at Liam and Harry clutching each other whilst giggling hysterically. “Oh for goodness sake, hurry up!”

Liam had barely got a grip on himself before Harry replied innocently “We’re comminngggg.” Liam stopped, his foot halfway between the ground and the car. Liam roared with laughter and turned round to launch himself at Harry. 

“Just get in the bloody car” Niall all but yelled. He felt himself blush as four pairs of eyes landed on him. “I’m hungry” He said weakly, hoping that they would just go with it. They seemed to, but the look in Zayn’s eyes said otherwise; and Niall wasn’t sure why. The drive to the photo shoot seemed to pass incredibly quickly for Liam; he even indulged in several rounds of rock paper scissors (Slaps had been banned by Paul; it tended to get a bit violent between the boys).

The moment the car stopped Niall was out and walking into the building; heading straight towards the buffet. Just to cover my excuse from earlier Niall thought whilst helping himself to a croissant. But to be fair, he was hungry anyway, so it was too much of a trauma to eat a couple of croissants. 

It was half-way through the shoot and it was time for an outfit change, and Niall was first to get sorted so he sat around waiting for the others, when his wandering eyes spied Liam. Niall was nervous, there was no denying the sweaty palms and twisted knots in his stomach, and he could barely keep his hungry eyes off Liam’s impressive torso. It wasn’t that he hadn’t seen it before, it just seemed liked he was seeing it in a different light now. Now Niall noticed all the little marks and moles, his eyes glancing down, tracing Liam’s spine all the way down to his arse, which Niall stared at greedily. 

He was so engrossed in Liam that Niall barely noticed Zayn sitting down next to him and jumped a mile when Zayn whispered in his ear, “Enjoying the view are we Nialler?”

“I-what- of course not!” He stammered, and from the look that was blooming across Zayn’s face he looked like he knew exactly why Niall was bearing close resemblance to a tomato. 

“Liam’s looking pretty impressive lately” Zayn smirked.

Unfortunately, before Zayn could get any further with his teasing, Liam walked over to them holding two shirts. It took a great deal of willpower for Zayn not to giggle as he watched Niall’s eyes widen comically as he came face to face with Liam’s six pack. But as he saw Niall become increasingly panicked he thought he better do something before Niall did something incredibly stupid. And Niall did some pretty stupid things when he got nervous. 

“Let’s have a look, don’t get your knickers in a twist.” Liam turned round to show Zayn the shirts, and as Liam walked away Zayn got up to follow him. “Looks like some people already have by the looks of it.” It was getting beyond irritating now. It seemed wherever Niall went Zayn would follow dropping confusing hints and giggles which caused Niall to blush and he wasn’t sure why. 

Finally the photo shoot was over leaving Niall frustrated and grumpy. He was sat in lobby waiting for Harry scuffing his shoe against the white tile floor leaving black marks in his wake. Niall watched as Zayn walked through the doors, got his car and drove away, waving to Niall as he passed, with the cockiest grin Niall had ever seen plastered to his face.  
And then it clicked. 

It was Zayn.

In some far-fetched, completely mad way, Zayn was behind LOTSpa. And boy was he going to pay for it.  
\---

Loud, obnoxious Irish hollering on his door alerted Zayn to the fact that Niall had put two and two together, and if Zayn’s memory served him correctly, the way Niall’s fist was threatening to punch a hole in Zayn’s front door usually meant that Niall wasn’t overly pleased. Luckily Perrie had left earlier to meet up with Jesy, so Zayn would have to deal with the angry Irishman alone. Such fun.  
He opened the door slowly and found Niall standing there looking absolutely fuming. 

“How’s tumblr?” Zayn asked brightly.

Niall stormed in and turned to Zayn, leaving the door wide open. “You absolute twat! How- I mean- oh fuck.” Niall buried his face in his hands. “It was really stupid wasn’t it?”  
“Well, you have done worse, okay so it was pretty stupid. But seriously mate, that fanfiction was, woahh. You need to address your feelings, like now.”

“But he doesn’t-”

“Fucking hell Niall! Don’t be so stupid! I know he does, the lads know he does, we ALL know he does! And all you seem to do is piss him off and break his heart, but for some reason he still comes back when you need someone.”

“So how do I tell him?” Niall said; his voice dropping to a quite murmur. “I’m not exactly going to go up to him and yell I LOVE YOU!” Niall heard a sharp intake of breath behind him. He whirled round and saw Liam standing in the door way looking extremely pale.

“Li-”

“Er sorry for interrupting, I’ll er, go now, er, yeah.” Liam mumbled, looking like he was about to keel over. Then he ran down the corridor, round the corner and disappeared from view. 

Zayn didn’t have time to go looking for Liam he was too busy trying to control a hysterical Niall. It was about 2 hours later when his phone rang.  
“Hello?” Zayn grumbled.

“Zayn. It’s Haz. What’s happening where is he? He rang Louis earlier, sobbing hysterically.”

Zayn sat up straighter, Harry’s voice causing a pool of concern to build in his stomach. “What? Where’s who?” 

“Liam. He’s vanished.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall was alone. Not in the sense that he had no friends, he was surrounded by those he loved and cared for. But from Liam he just wanted more.
> 
> He wanted to share intimate moments with Liam that he would share with no one else.
> 
> But Niall didn’t know what to say or how to go about saying it.
> 
> His feelings for Liam were left trapped inside his mind and hidden behind a computer screen.
> 
> With a hidden identity, can Niall bring himself to confront those feelings he fears most?

Liam didn’t know what he was doing, or where he was going. He had to get out of the complex; he had to get away from Niall; he had to get away from Zayn – he wasn’t sure if he was about ready to whack him on his chin, or if he was going to shout and scream at Niall because he had fucked things up. Why did he have to go to Zayn’s flat, why didn’t he just go home and have a nice hot shower, like he had originally planned?

Liam had seen Zayn and Niall chatted in hushed voices all throughout the day and was curious as to what they had been talking about. Had Zayn managed to get under Niall’s skin and found out why he had been so anti-social as of late?

Liam never thought the reason behind Niall’s behaviour was because he was actually in love with Zayn. Liam felt his heart well and truly shatter with Niall’s confession to Zayn; Liam knew all along that he loved Niall and he always held out the hope that the feelings were mutual – he never thought Niall would have feelings for one of the other boys.

What he and Niall had was special; he knew that from the get-go. But now it seemed like it was all falling apart.

Liam turned up outside Andy’s place and he banged loudly on his front door; Andy opened the door all in a fluster.

“Jesus, I thought it was the police or something,” Andy breathed a sigh of relief as he looked at  
Liam. “What are you doing here?”

“Why would the police be here?” Liam asked with a frown as he stepped into Andy’s flat.

“I dunno,” Andy shrugged and chuckled. “I just imagine that’s how their knock would sound.”

Liam shook his head at his friend as he flopped himself down on the sofa, and threw his arm over his face.

“What’s up with you – what are you doing here?” Andy asked as he sat himself next to Liam, giving his knee a pat.

“Nothing,” Liam answered quickly, followed by a frustrated sigh. “I just wanted to get out for a bit.”

“Don’t lie to me, Liam,” Andy sighed and Liam looked at him with a frown – how did he know he was lying? “What happened – who have you had confrontation with?”

“How do you know I’ve had confrontation with anyone?” Liam said quickly, sitting himself up straight.

“Because you have a face like thunder, and we all know it takes a lot to get our little Liam looking so angry.” Andy chuckled as he nudged Liam’s shoulder. Liam rolled his eyes as he shoved Andy away from him.

“No, Andy, it’s nothing like that,” Liam said shaking his head. “It’s just… I overheard Niall and Zayn having a-a… heated conversation.”

“And…?” Andy said, coaxing Liam to carry on after he just sat in silence, staring at the floor. “What happened?”

“N-nothing,” Liam shrugged nervously and Andy’s face screwed up in confusion. Liam gave a sigh before he decided to tell Andy what got him so angry. “I overheard Niall telling Zayn that… h-he loves him.”

“Oh…” Andy whistled lowly. He knew all about Liam and his feelings towards to Niall – he was the first person Liam ever told, because they had been friends for so long and Liam could trust Andy with any secret he told him. “Are you sure?” he asked after a little bit of silence.

“Yes, I’m sure!” Liam shot back quickly. “I’m not stupid, Andy – I know what I heard!”

“Alright, chill,” Andy chuckled as he held his hands up. “I’m just… confused, man. I mean, I’ve seen that boy and the way he is with you and– no I don’t see him and Zayn being _anything_.”

“B-but, I heard him!” Liam spluttered with a shake of his head. Andy didn’t say anything he just pulled Liam up off the sofa and led him towards the door. “What are you doing?”

“I’m taking you home Liam, you’re flying off the handle over nothing.” Andy said as he grabbed his car keys and left his flat with Liam protesting behind him.

“What do you mean over nothing?” Liam hissed as he quickly followed after Andy.

“Just… let’s get you home, sleep on this-this… _madness_ and you’ll see it all different tomorrow,” Andy said as he unlocked his car and got in. Liam stood his ground; was Andy serious? He had heard Niall declare his love for Zayn – he wasn’t deaf, nor was he stupid!

Liam got into Andy’s car like a child in the midst of a tantrum; he folded his arms across his chest and he kept on an angry pout for the entire journey home.

\--

Once Andy was sure Liam was going to be ok in his flat, he wandered over to Louis and Harry’s place; to inform them Liam was back and they were to keep an eye on him. Andy knew Liam wouldn’t do anything stupid; he just didn’t want him to wallow all by himself in his flat, for god knows how long, so Andy was going to make sure they boys checked on him regularly.

“What are we going to do about those two _idiots_?” Louis sighed as he closed the door after Andy’s exit and he turned to look at Harry, who simply shrugged. “You’re bloody useless, I don’t even know why I asked you – I’ll go over and I’ll ask Zayn what he thinks.”

“No bloody way!” Harry gasped and Louis frowned at him; completely confused by Harry’s outburst. “He’s not going to be involved in anymore Niall and Liam interventions – he’s put a right spanner in the works – just when I thought things were getting back on track, he goes and fucks it all up!”

“I thought his twitter and tumblr antics were bloody genius,” Louis chuckled heartily and Harry rolled his eyes.

“You would think it’s hilarious – you two are the pranksters around here.” Harry shook his head at Louis.

“Fine,” Louis said folding his arms. “We won’t include Zayn, but we do need to sort something out – we’re going to back at work full time soon – it won’t be just photo shoots or magazine interviews, it’ll be on camera with lots of people watching, and we can’t have Liam and Niall barely talking to each other.”

“We’ll think of something.” Harry mumbled as he shuffled through to the kitchen. Now, what could they possibly do to get Niall and Liam to talk to each other with no distractions?

\--

The second day of the photo shoot came quicker than Niall wanted to; he wasn’t ready to face Liam – even though he was desperate to set the record straight. He wasn’t ready to face Zayn; it was his entire fault why Liam had gone running off. Why couldn’t Zayn just let it go – why couldn’t he just leave Niall and Liam to their own devices, to work their own love lives out – they were going to get down to it sooner or later.

The car journey to the studio was awkward, to say the least. Niall wouldn’t look at Zayn, and Zayn couldn’t look at Niall through the guilt that was ripping through him – he never meant for this to happen; he just wanted either Niall or Liam to admit their feelings for each other. Zayn thought he was doing the right thing. But it all went tits up.

Liam didn’t look at, nor did he talk to any of the boys; not even to say hello to them – he stayed as far away as possible, from all of them. After Andy had taken him back to his own flat, Liam did nothing but think about Niall and what he was going to do about his feelings for him. He was forever yo-yoing – he liked Niall and he was going to do something about it, then he didn’t like him anymore and he was going to forget about this silly little phase – it was always one of the other; back and forth, back and _bloody_ forth. But now, he knew for certain he liked Niall more than he ever planned to and he had to do something about it.

\--

Louis and Harry had had more than enough. The atmosphere at the photo shoot was horrendous; usually the day flowed smoothly and easily – the boys would normally joke around, have a laugh, make the job easier; standing in front of a camera all day could get very tedious. But everything they tried to do failed massively, and they were at their wits end.

Liam was fed up because Niall had avoided him all day. Niall was fed up because he couldn’t find it within himself to talk to Liam; every time he plucked up a small amount of courage, he lost it just as quick. Zayn had attempted to get the two boys on their own, but every time one of them would scurry away without uttering a single word.

As Harry was stood at the catering table, Louis came running over to him and tapped his excitedly on his shoulder. “What do you want – stop hitting me!”

“I’ve had such a _brilliant_ idea!” he grinned like a Cheshire cat, still tapping Harry’s shoulder in excitement.

“An idea for what?” Harry said as he moved away from Louis and his excited hitting.

“God, you’re so stupid sometimes,” Louis sighed as he shook his head. “I’ve had an idea of how to get Liam and Niall on their own to talk to each other.”

“Oh right… nice one,” Harry shrugged and Louis sighed in exasperation as he stomped off, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

\--

Liam was awoken the next morning by a loud obnoxious knocking on his front door. He growled loudly as he threw of his cover and marched toward the door; he had the day off and he had planned to sleep in an as long as possible. But obviously someone had other plans.

“Oh, I should’ve known it would be you,” Liam grumbled as he opened the door to Louis and his stupid grin. “What do you want?”

“I’m here to pick you up because we’re going out for a little bit.” Louis said as he continued to grin at Liam. “So… off you go, go and get dressed.” Louis said waving Liam back into his flat after he looked at him in confusion.

“Where are we going?” Liam asked as he was practically frog-marched towards his bedroom.

“We’re just going… out for lunch and to do a bit of shopping.” Louis shrugged as he turned and walked out of the room, leaving Liam to get dressed.

\--

Just across the hall, unbeknown to Liam, Niall also had a rude awakening by a loud obnoxious knocking on his front door.

“Hiiii!” Harry grinned as Niall opened the front door. He simply grunted in response as he opened the door wider, allowing Harry to walk inside.

“What do you want?” Niall yawned as he made his way to the kitchen. He was stopped in his tracks when Harry put his hands on his shoulders; Harry yanked him around and pushed Niall in the direction of his bedroom.

“Go and get dressed, we’re going out.” Harry said and Niall turned to frown at him.

“It’s our day off and you want to wake me up, before midday, so we can go out?” Niall grumbled and Harry nodded, grinning with his devilishly cheeky grin.

“Yes and I don’t want any protests,” Harry said firmly as he waved Niall off to get dressed.

Twenty minutes later Niall and Harry left their complex and walked toward Harry’s car. Harry noticed that Louis’ car was gone; which meant he and Liam were already on their way. Harry could wait to see how this all played out in the end – he just hoped it wasn’t going to fail massively like Zayn’s little plan.

\--

A little over an hour and Harry spotted Louis’ car parked up in the small campsite just outside of London. He was relieved to finally have pulled up at his destination; the constant questioning from Niall was beginning to get on his nerves.

“Oh, hi!” Louis smiled as he spotted Harry and Niall walking towards him and Liam. Both Niall and Liam had faces like thunder; they weren’t too pleased to be where they were. “I was started to get worried – I thought you got lost, Hazza.”

“Not lost, just driving at a respectable speed.” Harry chuckled and Louis rolled his eyes before he chucked some poles and stuff at Harry.

“Whatever. Now, make yourself useful and help me get this bloody tent up – misery guts here is refusing to help me.” Louis muttered as he nodded his head in Liam’s direction.

Liam scoffed sarcastically before he stomped over to Louis’ car and sat inside, slamming the door closed as loudly as he could.

Niall snuck sneaky little glances in Liam’s direction, and he knew that Liam was doing his upmost to avoid looking at Niall.  
Niall desperately wanted to go over to him and talk to him about… everything. But he was too much of a wuss and he couldn’t bear it if Liam were to reject him outright.

\--

Two hours passed and Louis and Harry’s elaborate plan to get Liam and Niall to communicate with each other with no distractions was not working.

“What are we going to do, Haz?” Louis hissed in Harry’s ear as the two of them walked away from Liam and Niall to grab a few bits from the car.

“I don’t know!” Harry hissed back as he glanced over his shoulder at the two, still very annoyed, boys. “But we have to do something because I can’t stand to be around them while they’re like this.”

Louis clicked his car keys, unlocking the doors, and he walked around to the boot to grab the bags that contained their food for the evening. Then he had another genius idea.

“Oh, I’ve got it!” Louis almost screeched in excitement.

“Well… spit it out!” Harry sighed after Louis just stared at him with a stupid grin.

“We’re going to drive off - we’re going to drive off and leave them to here on their own. Then they have no excuse not to talk to each other.”

“Are you insane? They’ll kill us!” Harry gasped and Louis rolled his eyes.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Harry,” Louis sighed. “We’ll drive back early in the morning to pick them up and hopefully they will have worked everything out.”

Harry stared off into the distance, thinking hard about Louis idea. “Alright,” He sighed after a minute. “We’ll leave them here. But, how will we do it without them seeing us?”  

\--

When Liam came back from the small campsite shop, where he had gone to get some water, he noticed both Harry and Louis’ cars were gone. What the hell is going on, he thought as he dropped the water bottles inside the tent.

“What do you mean you’ve had to drive home for an emergency?!” Liam heard Niall shout and he looked around for him, he noticed him pacing the large grassed area behind their tent. “You’ve this on purpose the pair of ye!” Niall hissed angrily and Liam found a smile creeping onto this mouth – Niall’s accent always came out strongest when he was angry or annoyed. Liam loved it.

“OH, feck off ya bastard!” Niall shouted before he hung up his phone. Liam watched him and knew he was tempted to chuck his phone in anger but they were outside and it wasn’t safe for a phone to be chucked around.

Niall turned around and spotted Liam, he smiled nervously but Liam didn’t return it; instead he scurried inside of the tent. This is absolutely perfect, Niall grumbled to himself.

\--

An hour later and Niall had paced the entirety of the camp site. He knew he couldn’t put it off any longer and he had to go into the tent and he had to talk to Liam. There was no getting away from what was going on with him and Liam; it was only going to get worse and their friendship was going to be in tatters if they carried on the way they were going.

When Niall stormed into the tent and sat himself down, Liam sat upright and made to move out.

“Don’t go anywhere, Liam,” Niall sighed angrily and Liam froze before he slowly sat himself back down, slightly further away from Niall. “We need to talk and… well we’re stuck with only each other until the morning so….”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Liam snapped as he folded his arms across his chest.

“There is Liam, and you know there is,” Niall mumbled as he looked down at his hands. “We’ve… not been right with each other for a while now a-and I… I hate it, I really do hate it – we need to sort things out, Liam.”

“What is there to sort out?” Liam sighed angrily, forcing Niall to look at him. Niall hated it when Liam was angry; especially when he was angry with him.

“I’ve been… a massive dickhead for the past few weeks–”

“Really?” Liam scoffed, cutting Niall off.

Niall sighed heavily. “You’re not making this easy, you know? I’m really trying to save what we have and you’re acting like you couldn’t give a shit!”

“I don’t give a shit Niall, not anymore anyway.” Liam muttered before he once again made to move out of the tent. Niall quickly grabbed Liam’s arm to stop him from leaving.

“Please Liam, don’t walk out of here. I, uh…. I need to tell you something.” Niall swallowed nervously as he glanced from his hand on Liam’s arm, up to his eyes; which were still angrily glaring at him.

“You need to tell me that you’re in love with Zayn, is that it?” Liam snapped and Niall looked at him in complete shock; was he serious? Niall couldn’t reply and Liam took his silence as the truth. “Yeah, why don’t you save it – because I don’t want to hear anything you have to say.” He spat as he shook off Niall’s hand and unzipped the tent.

“I’m not in love with Zayn – I’m in love with you!” 


	11. Chapter 11

Liam gaped at Niall; he felt his chin drop. “I’m sorry- what did you say?” He whispered eventually, not believing the words that had just come out of the Irishman’s mouth.

“I love you. Not Zayn, you.” Niall smiled, it was so easy to say now; he couldn’t understand the difficulty he’d had in saying it before. But the happiness he’d felt by finally expressing his feelings was dwindling fast as he waited for Liam to saying something.

Then it began to rain, a first it was a light shower but it soon grew into a heavy downpour; battering the outside of the tent with a strong wind ravaging the tent strings.

Tugging on the zip of the tent Liam pulled it down and sat down heavily on the airbed; but still didn’t say anything. He had no choice but to face Niall, he couldn’t run now. Then he realised this was Louis plan all along; to get him and Niall to talk.

Niall got up off the camping chair and sat down next to him, taking the fact that Liam didn’t move away as a good sign.

“Li-Liam. Say something please.” Niall choked; his emotions gradually beginning to get the better of him.

“Why didn’t you say something or give me the slightest fucking indication you liked me more than a friend?” Liam paused breathing heavily, nostrils flaring. “I’ve liked you for so long, I’ve been there for you when you’ve been ill, I’ve been your rock, but you just treat me like shit and act like you can breeze through life alone.  But I can’t Niall, I can’t be alone. I need someone to be with; I need a shoulder to cry on. I’m not like you.”

Niall flinched, that was harsh. He couldn’t believe that Liam thought that Niall was going to be a lonely run-down pop star by the time he was fifty. But then Niall saw Liam was crying, tears slowly sliding down his cheeks and staining his t-shirt.

“So I waited Ni. I waited for months to see if you felt the same as I did. But when the tumblr thing came about and I saw how you reacted, I thought you were angry. I thought you were angry with people for thinking of us as anything more than friends. So I tried to distance myself from you, to show the fans that there was nothing. But that tumblr thing just kept popping up everywhere, reminding me that what I wanted I couldn’t have.” Liam then stopped talking, his voice seeming to give up then, losing its fight against Liam’s tears.

An immense wave of guilt washed through Niall. Everything he had put on tumblr had done the opposite of what he wanted. Everything he had done to try and draw Liam closer to him, had in fact pushed him even further away.

“It’s me.” he said quietly, staring a spec of mud on his shoe.

“What’s you?” Liam asked.

“The tumblr.  I started it because I wandered what all the fans were on about with this shipping and you seem to know a lot about it, and I thought it would be a good idea because I could say all the things about you that I couldn’t say about you to anyone else or say to you. Cause no matter how many times Zayn said I needed to grow a pair and tell you I couldn’t.

“You bastard.”

Niall swallowed thickly. Liam didn’t usually swear a great deal, so when he started his sentence with ‘you bastard’ it didn’t look like it was going to go too well.

“I’m sorry.” Niall stuttered; Liam looked incredibly angry right now and it was scaring the shit out of him.

“You’re sorry!” Liam cried mockingly, “after all the shit you’ve put me through you’re ‘sorry’. Great, that’s just great.”

Liam sighed in frustration and fell onto his back; the air mattress groaning as Liam adjusted himself into a more comfortable position. Niall mimicked him and decided to push his luck by snuggling a little bit closer. He allowed himself a little smile as Liam curled round him slightly. Well, at least he doesn’t hate me Niall thought as he laid his head on Liam’s muscular chest.

“We’re a right pair of dicks aren’t we?” Liam giggled weakly.  Niall hummed in agreement. “We could have saved ourselves from this mess and being forced into spending the night in a freezing tent. I wonder what time they’re going to come and rescue us…”

But Niall couldn’t help but pay attention to the little niggle in the back of his brain. Liam still hadn’t mentioned their feelings. It was like he had brushed it under the carpet and was pretending they were in the tent for a completely different reason, like they were the unfortunate victims of one of Louis latest pranks.

He knew that Liam wouldn’t do initiate anything, so Niall decide to take it upon himself to kick start the process. Now he knew Liam returned his feelings he was going to get him one way or another. Even if you are facing the other way Niall thought, watching as Liam rolled over onto his side; facing the inner lining of the tent; time to play the wildcard he thought slyly.

As Liam lay there on the mattress he fought an internal war with his emotions. On one hand he was completely overjoyed that Niall _actually liked him._ While he lay there struggling to come to terms with the fact that if he rolled over and kissed the boy _he wouldn’t mind_ he could hear Niall singing quietly to himself.

“One way or another I'm gonna find ya, I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha. One way or another I'm gonna win ya, I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha” And as Niall sang Liam could feel Niall’s hand sneaking closer and closer to his hip.

Liam fought valiantly against the smile that was threatening to make its way onto his face. Niall knew how much Liam loved that song; ever since they visited Africa for Comic Relief the song had a special place in Liam’s heart.

Soon enough Niall found himself pressed tightly against Liam’s body still humming the melody of One Way or Another, and to his delight he could feel Liam’s resolve weakening; he was gradually relaxing into Niall’s body, succumbing to its warmth and comfort.

“Don’t treat me like a fool Liam, just let go.”

“I don’t know if I can.” Liam rasped, his voice constricted with emotion.  “I’ve waited for so long, and I was just starting to think you weren’t going to want me in that way, when suddenly you turn around and say what I thought you would never say. You don’t know how that’s making me feel.”

“Are you saying no?”

“Of course not. I’m just saying let me get my head around everything first; this is a bit of a shock to the system.”

Niall couldn’t help but feel slightly frustrated. He’d been pining for months yet Liam still wanted to _wait._ Typical Liam, Niall thought wryly as he shuffled over to the rucksack where the supply of food was. If he was going to have to wait for Liam he wasn’t going to do it on an empty stomach.

For the rest of that evening Liam and Niall didn’t talk much. They played card games for a couple hours in comfortable silence; with neither boy willing to break it.

It was around 11 when Liam bid Niall goodnight and crawled into his sleeping bag. He tried in vain to convince himself that he wasn’t hiding from the Irishman, he was just trying to have some alone time to clear his head. Okay, so maybe the way Niall was watching him patiently was getting more than a little uncomfortable.

Sighing, Niall got up and followed Liam’s example. After rustling his sleeping bag nosily he slid into the deepest depths to try and seek some warmth from something that wasn’t Liam’s body; he didn’t want to rush Liam into making a rash decision, having sex for the first time in a tent probably wouldn’t end well, Niall concluded before shutting his eyes and ears to try and ignore the horrific weather.

“Remind me why we’re doing this again?” Harry asked sleepily before slumping onto the breakfast bar. It was 6 in the morning and he’d just been dragged from the warmth of his bed by a young Mister Tomlinson- who he was glad to see was reacting just as badly to the early start as he was.  

Louis just yawned in reply and nudged a cup of tea against Harry’s arm.

He sat down opposite Harry and nursed his mug of tea gratefully. “We, young Harold, are the matchmakers of the future. This means, if we need to wake up at ungodly hours to fulfil our plans, then we must.”

“I did _not_ sign up this” Harry grumbled.

“You know me, it’s a binding contract.” Louis replied cheekily; he was bit more awake now and he felt a tad perkier than he had previously. “Now if I am correct, if we take Liam his jogging crap then it significantly reduces the chance of either of us receiving a punch to the face.” As he said that he lifted a duffle bag off the floor which contain Liam’s jogging gear.

“I bloody well hope so!” Harry whined. “I’d rather not have to deal with the headlines.”

The pair sat there for a few more minutes; sipping their tea quietly whilst listening to Nick Grimshaw in the background.

In the middle of bobbing along to the new Foals track that Nick was particularly fond of Louis glanced at the clock. “Shit, Haz, we’ve got to go! _It’s showtimeee_!!!” He wiggled his arms in a jazz hands type fashion.

As they pair grew closer to the campsite adrenalin began pulsing through their veins; anticipation building as they wondered what they would find.

Harry parked his range rover next to the tent and almost immediately Liam’s head popped out the entrance of the tent. He came running out as Louis and Harry got out the car; Louis holding Liam’s bag. Liam whooped with delight (well, as loud as he could at that time in the morning) when he saw his bag.

“Oh thank god! I love you Lou! I thought I was going to have to miss my run.” And he pushed past them to get changed in Harry’s car.

Meanwhile Harry had pushed open the flat of the tent to find Niall stirring in his sleeping bag. He leapt over and landed in a heap on top of Niall.

“What the fuck is going on?” Niall groaned then he sat up suddenly, “Where’s Li?”

“Your loverboy’s gone for his jog! Anyway whathappenedwhathappenedwhathappened????” Harry asked, bouncing on the air bed like an impatient toddler.

“Well he doesn’t hate me…”

“YAY” Louis waved his arms in celebration as he entered the tent.

“But he wanted to think about it, he was pretty pissed off about the whole tumblr thing. He likes me though!” Niall said quietly. As he thought about it, the previous night hadn’t been that productive at all.

“Is that _it_?” Louis asked, astounded.

“You just talked?” Harry had the nerve to sound disgusted. “No kissing or anything?”

Niall shook his head. “We cuddled for a bit.” He pouted, “I wasn’t even allowed to share his sleeping bag.”

“Shit, Ni. You know, you could have just kissed him, I don’t think he would have minded. In fact, he probably would have preferred you to make the first move. Now he’s going to overthink things.” Louis added.

Niall just groaned and placed his head in his hands. “But what can I do now?”

“Find him and kiss him til he has no breath left in him to push you away.”

Louis and Niall turned to look at Harry, slightly concerned. “Where the fuck did that come from?” Louis asked. “Actually, don’t tell me. I’m just gonna blame Nick and his weird hipster shit. And Niall, I would just go and find him.”

“Well lets get this fucking tent down so we can get cracking!”


	12. Chapter 12

Liam had hoped his jog would give him a little time to think everything over, but it just made his thoughts more jumbled, and he was more confused than when he was in the tent overnight with Niall.

He pushed himself to run that little bit faster and he could feel his body groaning in protest; he’d hardly slept a wink and he just wasn’t feeling on top form, but he knew he couldn’t turn and go to back to Niall, Louis and Harry. He felt like he needed a little bit of space, not only from Niall but from the three of them. What the bloody hell was he going to do – for a long time he had strong feelings for Niall and he knew they were true; he hadn’t been afraid of them, he had been afraid of Niall’s reaction.

Now Niall had admitted the feelings had been mutual for a long time, but Niall had been the one afraid of admitting them to himself – Liam didn’t know how to feel about that. It wasn’t like they had known each other for a short period of time; they had been friends and band mates for ages – they know each other inside and out, they know what ticks the other one off, they know what the other one needs when they’re sick, or whatever. It’s not like they could never have worked. But maybe, Liam mused, they worked so well because they were best friends and they weren’t complicated. Now everything had taken a massive U-turn and things had become complicated; feelings were known to both of them, and it hadn’t made things better – it hadn’t made them worse, but still. A spanner was in the works and Liam didn’t know how to sort it out.

Liam wondered as he turned on his heel and took a steady jog back to the tent, why had Niall been so afraid of his feelings and why had he felt it was all right to turn to the internet and a bunch of strangers to see if being with Liam was the right thing to do? He wasn’t even sure of his own feelings towards Niall now – his confession had thrown and he didn’t know if things could go back to normal.

When he got back to where the tent had been set up, he saw the three lads putting everything into Harry’s Range Rover. Liam sighed in relief; he was glad they were ready to get on their way back home. He didn’t fancy an awkward chat with the boys – he just wanted to go home, to his own place to have some peace and quiet, to mull over what he was going to do.

“Li-Liam, can I um–”

“Are we ready to leave?” Liam said quickly, cutting Niall off. He turned to look at Harry who was stood by the driver’s side. Harry nodded slowly, his gaze flickering to Niall and back to Liam. “Come on then, let’s go.” He clapped his hands together before he jumped in the back seat of Harry’s car. He deliberately avoided looking at Niall, because he knew he’d be wearing a confused, hurt expression and, as much as he was annoyed at him, he couldn’t take a sad Niall right now.

\--

The car journey home was awful and it was all down to Liam, from the moment he got into the car he knew the atmosphere was going to be unbearable. But he couldn’t force himself to make conversation with the boys, Niall especially. Instead he chose to pull up the hood of his jumper and lay his head back against the seat, hoping to catch a bit of sleep.

Niall tried to keep up with the chatter with Louis and Harry; he tried to keep his tone light and jokey but he could feel himself failing. He couldn’t understand Liam’s standoff attitude all of a sudden – he thought they had made a break through the previous night – he truly thought things were just going to get better from now onwards.

He sighed to himself as he replayed their conversation over in his head. He should never have brought up the tumblr; did he really expect Liam to take that information well – to find out Niall had played out his fantasies and feelings to their fans, before he even thought about telling Liam. He was stupid to ever think Liam was just going to take that on the chin and be okay with it.

Niall pulled out his phone and loaded up his twitter application – if Liam wasn’t going to talk to him then he was going to have to do something to make Liam see that he was sorry and he wanted to work things out.

**_“I really don’t know what’s going on. But I just want you to know that I’m sorry. I love ya xx”_ **

Liam felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and he automatically grabbed it to check whatever message he had received. He coughed nervously when he saw the text from twitter informing him that Niall had updated.

Liam felt his frown deepen when he read the cryptic message – it wasn’t cryptic to Liam but it still annoyed him, because there Niall goes again; too afraid to say something to him and decides to tell the internet instead!

 He debated whether or not to put up his own cryptic tweet and decided against it – he wasn’t sure what to say and he didn’t even know if he was ready to face Niall and the situation they had put themselves in.

“Well, here we are boys, home sweet home!” Harry announced as he pulled the car into the parking space outside their flats.

Liam quickly jumped out of the car and moved to the boot to grab his one bag before he practically ran inside the building.

Niall let out a heavy sigh as he moved to the boot of the car to help Louis and Harry to get everything out of the car.

“You can go inside, if you want?” Louis said in a soft tone but Niall shook his head firmly.

“No, I’ll help you,” He mumbled. “Liam’s made it quite clear that he doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“It’ll be alright, mate,” Harry said giving Niall a pat on the shoulder. “Just give it a little bit of time, yeah?”

“If you say so.” Niall grumbled before he turned and stalked into the building, not actually helping Louis and Harry with the camping equipment.

\--

“Vas happenin’ boys?” Zayn called in a cheery tone as Louis opened the door to him.

“Not a lot, mate,” Louis sighed as he moved to let Zayn into the flat. “Do you want a drink or anything?”

Nah, I’m alright,” Zayn said as he threw himself down on the sofa, practically lying on top of Harry; who grumbled as he attempted to push Zayn off him. “I just came by to see if you guys wanted to do something tonight? The feelings in camp haven’t been too good lately, so I thought we could go out, get Niall and Liam drunk… make them have an adult conversation?”

“No way,” Louis said giving a firm shake of his head. “No more interventions – we’ve all meddled in their relationship and it hasn’t done any good so far, so… we’re leaving them too it – they’ll sort it out eventually.”

“But, it’s been a week since the camping trip and they won’t even look at each other – can you really carry on working like that? Because I can’t” Zayn protested and Louis stuck to what he had said – no more interventions.

“It’ll be worked out eventually.” Louis muttered before he walked into the kitchen, not even entirely convinced that he was right. Could things really work out?

The atmosphere had been extremely tense since the camping trip, and Liam and Niall had avoided each other at all costs – they but on their smiles and acted like their usual selves when a camera was on or when a picture was being taken. But as soon as that was taken away is like they had a switch and it immediately turned off. Zayn was right, the boys couldn’t carry on working the way they had been for the past week. Louis could intervene anymore though – look what good it had done so far!

“Louis, I’m just popping out for an hour or two.” Harry said poking his head round the kitchen door. Louis just nodded, not looking at Harry. He glanced up at the clock to check the time; just gone 11am and Louis concluded that Harry was going out to see Grimmy. Harry always did go out to see Nick when he was fed up – Louis knew Harry was fed up because so was he, and was Zayn by all accounts. But what could they possibly do to sort it out? Nothing, Louis thought quickly. They were going to do nothing but pretend everything was alright, because this mess had to be fixed by the two people at the centre of it.

\--

A little while later Harry pulled up outside the BBC Broadcasting House. He knew Grimmy would still be there even though his show had been finished for over an hour – no doubt he was still in meetings and stuff.

Harry reached into his jeans to grab his phone before dialling Nick’s number.

“Well hello there, young Harold.” Nick answered in his usual cheery tone.

“Hi!” Harry said, trying to keep his tone light. “Are you free, I was wondering if you wanted to grab a drink or something?”

“Yeah, sure. What’s up?” Nick replied quickly; no doubt he noticed that Harry wasn’t on his usual top form.

“Nothing… just haven’t seen you for ages.” Harry said with a shrug.

“Well… where are you?”

“I’m outside the bbc building.”

“Oh, great. Just give me ten minutes and I’ll be down and we can go… somewhere.” Nick said before hanging up.

\--

Nick and Harry sat in a café not too far from the BBC Broadcasting house, sipping on horrible coffee just because they were too lazy to find an actual decent place to sit and have a drink. Plus it was way too early to find a pub to have a nice cold beer.

“So Harry, what’s up?” Nick said as he set his cup down on the table, eyeballing Harry.

“Nothing,” Harry shrugged and Nick gave a very loud sigh to let Harry know he didn’t believe his shit. “Things are… pretty shit with the boys – well… with Liam and Niall mostly.”

“Well, what’s going on?”

Harry told him everything. Right from the beginning – from that damn interview about the tumblr, to the weird tumblr account that appeared not too long after, the fanfics that contained very personal information, to Niall’s confession of his love for Liam and for the running of said tumblr, the arguments and interventions, and the camping trip where Harry and Louis thought everything would turn out great but ended up being 100 times worse.

“Good god,” Nick breathed in disbelief. “It’s all gone tits up then, hey pal?”

“Just a bit,” Harry sighed heavily. “I don’t know what’s going to happen – Niall and Liam won’t talk to each other; either people are going to start noticing the cracks within the group or everyone’s just going to grow apart and give up.”

“I’m sure it won’t come to that, Harry.” Nick said reassuringly, reaching over to pat his friends shoulder. “You lot have the tightest friendship I’ve ever known – you can get through this.”

“This was just supposed to be a laugh – we all thought once they knew what they both were feeling then they’d be alright, but it just took a massive fucking nosedive.”

“Do you want me to have a word? I can get them on the show or something, get ‘em to play call or delete.”

“No, Louis said no more interventions – he wants to leave them to sort it out for themselves.”

“Well, leave them too it then, and stop getting yourself down about it – everything isn’t as bad as you think. Liam and Niall just need to have space to think and they’ll sort it out, just give ‘em time.”

“Thanks for listening to me groaning on about my friends.” Harry muttered before taking a sip of his horrible coffee.

“That’s alright pal, you know I’m always here for you.” Nick said giving Harry his very best smile.

As Harry walked out of the café to his car he wondered whether or not Nick was right – would Niall and Liam really sort it out themselves after a bit of space and thinking time?

And most of all Harry thought about whether or not him and the boys had enough patience to put up with the awful atmosphere for too much longer.

\--

 Niall found himself sat on his sofa debating what he was going to do. He’d already sent out a number of cryptic tweets and that hadn’t enticed Liam over for a talk – so he was clueless as to what he was going to do next.

After much deliberation he stood up and rushed out of his front door and towards Liam’s, he didn’t stop to let himself think and talk himself out of it – he had to talk to Liam and he had to prove to him that he was sorry for what he did and was desperate to make things right.

As Niall got closer to Liam’s front door he heard a couple of voices inside and he couldn’t help but wonder who was there.

\--

Liam had been more than surprised when Danielle had text him asking if he wanted to meet up for a coffee. When he replied she said she was close by the flat and she’d pop over to meet him there.

It was like old times; him and Danielle just chatted comfortably about everything they had been up – it wasn’t awkward like it usually was between people who had a romantic history. She made him forget his troubles with Niall for a little bit, she made him laugh like he hadn’t done in a long while.

“Right, are you ready to get going?” Danielle stood up from the sofa, smiling sweetly.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Liam said as he grabbed his coat and made his way out the door. “Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t mind, anywhere.”

Both Liam and Danielle were oblivious to Niall as he lingered a little way down the hall, watching the two of them totter off like old times. They didn’t notice him as he stormed back into his own flat and slammed the door.


	13. Chapter 13

Liam was quite unsure as to why Danielle wanted to meet up with him. He didn’t really speak to her much now, usually just the odd text every now and again to check up on Loki but nothing major. So for her to ring out of the blue insisting that they meet up that afternoon was more than a little odd.

It had been easy to fall into conversation once she arrived, but even so, it was a little awkward. After all, breaking up with someone you had been dating for a significant amount of time then meeting up again was bound to stir up distant memories.

Feeling more than a little bit nervous he followed Danielle to the local cafe. It felt similar and easy, yet slightly uncomfortable; almost as if he should be feeling someone else’s warmth by his side, looking across to see their smile, and he knew that person should be Niall. His feelings for the Irishman were so twisted and tangled, that Liam was beginning to think it was a not he would never be able to untangle.

Liam was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he barely registered Danielle gripping his wrist lightly and pulling him into the café, and consequently he tripped over the inconvenient step at the entrance.

Surviving a drink couldn’t be that hard with an ex.

Could it?

Before sitting down Liam pulled out a chair for Danielle before taking the seat opposite, after all, even if they weren’t dating anymore Liam wouldn’t even dream of forgetting his manners. As he sat in the seat opposite Liam was afraid of what was about to follow.

Luckily for Liam before the silence became a whole new level of awkward the waitress arrived at their table. The fact that she was beyond overjoyed to be serving a member of One Direction made clear on her face. Liam opted for a safe cup of tea with Danielle ordering some fancy fruit tea which Liam would have made fun of had his current situation not drained every ounce of humour from his body.

“I hope I don’t get called in every time your love life reaches crisis point!” Danielle said, looking up at Liam with a soft smile on her face.

“Wait, _what,_ who called you in?!” Liam stammered.

“The persons involved would like to remain anonymous.” Danielle chuckled as Liam’s face slipped into a pout. He hated not being in the know, and she knew that.

Anonymous eh, Liam thought, he’d get the Harry to spill the beans later; that boy was terrible at resisting the puppy eyes. Danielle seemed to know this was what he was thinking because before Liam could even begin to develop his plan for later she said, “And don’t even think of trying Harry, he doesn’t know.”

“Bollocks.”

Before their conversation could continue any further the waitress arrived with their drinks, battering her eyelashes at Liam the entire time before asking him several times if he wanted anything else, ignoring Danielle entirely.

As soon as the waitress walked out of earshot Danielle muttered “If people knew you were taken you wouldn’t have to endure quite so many encounters like that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Liam snapped.

“You know what’s it’s supposed to mean Liam. You’ve got to talk to Ni. You two have been dancing around each other for months, what the hell is stopping you?”

And to be honest, Liam didn’t know, and the smug smile on Danielle’s face seemed to suggest that she knew this all along.

“I just want him to talk to me. I just don’t know what to tell him anymore. One minute he’s being the bitchiest man on the planet and then the next he’s all needy, I just don’t know how to approach it.”

“Approach it? Li, you just need to stop. Stop and just let your feelings go. I _know_ that you and Niall will work you just need to communicate. Isn’t this how this mess all started because of a little lack of communication?”

“I suppose.” Liam replied, eyes on the floor. He wasn’t in the mood to listen to his ex-girlfriend point out all the things he should have done but didn’t do them. And it is Niall’s fault too. Actually, it was mostly Niall’s fault.

“Hind sight’s a bitch.” He moaned, burying his face in his hands.

The conversation then moved on to other things; mostly work related. The chatted for over an hour, catching up on each other’s lives. At first Liam was worried that it would be awkward, he didn’t know anyone that kept in close contact with their ex’s on a regular basis.

Well, then the subject of Loki came up.

“How is he?” Liam asked eager to hear how Loki was. He didn’t see him regularly at all after his split with Dani, even after they split on amicable terms.

“He’s fine. It’s just; I don’t think I’m going to be able to look after him anymore. I’m going away from quite a while with work; I just don’t have the time anymore.”

“Oh, what-”

“I was wondering if you wanted to take him in.”  

“Of course! When would be easiest and does his vet need to know?” Liam reeled off, a beaming smile on his face. He hadn’t felt so happy in months, now he felt a little bit lighter, a little less lonely.

Even if Niall was going to continue to annoy the crap of out him he now had Loki.

Danielle drained the last bit of tea in her cup, pausing to laugh at Liam’s desperate expression. “We can go now if you want?”

Liam’s ecstatic expression was more than confirmation.

-

Niall was cross. Actually, he was more than cross. He was absolutely fuming. How _dare_ that son of a bitch come back here and steal _his Liam_ from him when she got shot of him long ago. In his rage filled state Niall turned to one of the only things that could comfort him right now- alcohol.

 Even tumblr was no comfort due to almost every post having some link to Liam and Niall couldn’t deal with that right now, so he drank.

Walking into the kitchen he went straight towards the liquor cabinet, roughly throwing the door open with a loud bang in his haste to get at the stuff which he hope would help him drown his sorrows.

His throat burned as he drank the liquor straight from the bottle; he was so intent on getting so drunk he couldn’t see straight that he didn’t even acknowledge his poison of choice. All he wanted to do was the fact that Liam had chosen to go crawling back to Dani because of what he did.

“Way to go Nialler!” He crowed loudly into the silent flat. The echo reminding him that he really was all alone once more.

Half a bottle of vodka, 3 cans of strongbow and countless cans of lager later Niall was pissed out of his mind and it has just gone half past 5 in the evening.

Got nothing left now Niall thought, everyone’s happy but me. Everyone in this fucking world has got someone but me. Perhaps my time is up he thought sadly. “I suppose I better tell them.” He shouted at the advert telly, almost as if he was expecting a response.

In his drunken state Niall stumbled off the sofa and staggered towards the breakfast bar, drunkenly grasping at his phone, punching in the first number he could think of.

“Hello?”

“Helllooooo Harrrryyyyy” Niall slurred loudly.

“Niall? Are you drunk?” Harry asked wearily.

“Me? Noooooooooo! But I got some important fuckinnn’ newsss so you better listen you curly haired shit bag”

“Just fucking get on with it.” Harry replied shortly. Not in the mood to listen to Niall’s drunken jibes. Normally Niall would insult Harry as a joke, but these insults were thrown harshly, and showed no mercy.

“I asm done. I dun wanna do this anymore. Liam obviously wants the whore more and I cant deal.” He stopped to cough meekly, tears pouring down his cheeks. “I’m not staying in the saammme place as that bastard any longer.” He wailed, now full on sobbing down the phone to Harry.

“Niall calm down. You’re not going-”

“YOU CAN’T FUCKING STOP ME HARRY. I AM DONE.” He roared before hanging up on Harry and throwing his phone on the cold tile floor his kitchen, shattering the screen completely.

“FUCKING NORA!” He yelled to no one in particular, reaching for the vodka bottle once more.

-

Harry just stared at his phone numbly.

“Louis!” He yelled, pushing himself up off the sofa and shoving his feet into the nearest pair of converses littered about their flat.

“Yeah?” Louis poked his head out of the kitchen. “What’s the matter?”

“We have got a serious problem.”

“I doubt it’s _that_ bad Haz.”

“You wanna bet?” Harry asked, pulling Louis outside and towards Niall’s flat and opened the door.

Inside they found an afternoon’s worth of binge drinking scattered about the flat.

“Okay I totally take it back. But where is he?”

The sound of heavy vomiting answered Louis question so instead he just asked another.

“So what exactly happened?”

“I’m not sure Lou." Harry sighed. "I’ve got a feeling it was something to do with Liam meeting a girl or something like that. Well, from what I could understand on the phone anyway.” He leant down and began to pick up then larger cans from around the flat, and Louis went to open a window; the whole flat stunk of stale vodka. “And he said he couldn’t cope anymore and he quit.”

“Er Haz. I think I may have made a tactical boo-boo.”

“Yeah by quoting Doctor Who!” But Louis guilty expression stopped him in his tracks. “Shit Lou what did you do?”

“Me and Zayn may have got Perrie to get Danielle to talk to Liam this morning and take him out to sort out his head and I think Niall probably saw them leaving.”

-

Whilst Harry was concentrating on breathing calmly and not punching Louis square on the nose, Danielle was driving Liam back to her new flat to pick up Loki. Liam being completely oblivious to the drama unfolding in Niall’s flat.

The silence in the car wasn’t awkward, and Liam was glad. It felt so easy just to sit in Danielle’s space and not have to fill it with constant chatter.

Unlocking the door Danielle ushered Liam in. He’s barely taken two steps in when a bundle of black and white fur jumped up, barking loudly. Liam knelt down and gathered Loki up in his arms; cuddling the dog and burying his nose in his thick fur. 

"Well I guess you better take him home." Danielle said, snapping Liam out of his daydream. "Not to be rude or anything, but I've got a date later and I need to get ready. And I think you need to get your shit together Liam."

Liam nodded. He's spend the majority of the day with Danielle, and it was starting to get a little weird.  

"Well, I guess I'll see you later."

"Yeah. I'll organise all the documents and stuff, I'll be in touch. If anything happens," She hastily scribbld a phone number and address on a scrap piece of paper, "here's the vets contact details and stuff." 

After saying goodbye to Danielle Liam walked back to his flat, glad to be back in the fresh air. He smiled as he watched Loki bounding along the path in front of him, tugging at his leash straining to gather all the new sights and smells. It took Liam an hour and a half too get back to himself back to his flat, and one of the nicest things was that now he wasn't alone. Now he had his little bundle of joy back in his life once more. He watched as Loki went around sniffing all the pieces of furniture and set about makin himself at home on Liam's fluffy carpet. Liam couldn't remember feeling this happy in a long time. 

Well, his happiness was only temporary. He should of realised that by now. 

“OH FOR GODS SAKE NIALL!”


	14. Chapter 14

Niall wasn't even fazed by Liam's voice roaring at him. He was way past caring; he gave absolutely no fucks. Louis however, stood frozen, mouth open, unsure of what to do.

 

"I-I'm sorry, Liam," Louis mumbled quickly. "He had a key... he wouldn't leave it... he just- he's lost his fucking head!" 

 

"It's alright Lou, you get off home, I'll sort this dickhead out." 

 

"Are you sure?" he asked dubiously and Liam nodded stiffly. 

 

"I'll give you a call in a bit." Liam said as he walked Louis to the door and then shut it behind him. He walked back into the living room to see Niall slumped on the sofa, staring into space. 

 

"What are you doing here, Niall?" Liam sighed heavily. 

 

Niall shrugged, not even bothering to look at Liam. "I don't know." 

 

"Are you drunk?" Liam asked in disbelief, it wasn't even 4 o'clock in the afternoon and Niall was plastered! Niall shrugged once again and Liam felt his patience wearing thin.

 

"What's going on with you - why are you acting like this?" 

 

"Because... I've had enough Liam, that's why! I can't take it anymore!" Niall shouted as he stood up from the sofa, nearly stumbling into the glass coffee table. "I poured my heart out to you when we went camping and you.... you just ignored me! Do you have any idea how that made me feel?" 

 

"OH!" Liam scoffed as he too stood from the sofa and squared up to Niall. "So it's only your feelings that we should care about, huh?" 

 

"Yeah!" Niall screamed. "Especially when you just get together with your ex-girlfriend - smooth fucking move, Liam!" 

 

"That didn't mean anything, Niall," Liam sighed softly and Niall barked out a short laugh. 

 

"Do you really think I'm going to believe that bullshit? I saw you two leaving here - I saw the way you looked at her Liam! Don't forget we were all around when you two were together, I know they way you have always looked at Danielle!" 

 

"I was with Danielle for a long time Niall, do you seriously expect my feelings to just disappear with a click of my fingers?!" Liam screamed, growing even more frustrated with Niall. "She called me because she needed someone to watch Loki while she goes away with work." 

 

"Whatever... I don't even care." Niall shrugged before he moved to walk out of the flat. "I'm going to Ireland for a few days, I need a break." And before Liam could react or even reply, Niall opened the door, walked out and slammed it shut behind him. Liam threw himself down on the sofa in defeat - what could he do? Him and Niall had done more fighting that anything now that they had revealed their feelings to one another - how could they possiby work things out and be a couple - were they destined to be apart? 

 

\--

 

Perrie was heading to Zayn's place when she saw Niall storm out of Liam's flat, slamming the door with great force. 

 

"Are ya alright, babe?" Perrie asked timidly as Niall glanced at her, eyes full of fury. 

 

"What do you care?" he snapped as he continued on into his flat, slamming his own door with even greater force than he slammed Liam's. 

 

Perrie couldn't understand Niall's rudeness towards her - he was never rude to anyone; you'd never meet a guy as nice as Niall. 

 

Before heading to Zayn's place Perrie nervously knocked on Liam's door. She wanted to know what was wrong because she couldn't shake the feeling that it was her fault. 

 

"Hi Perrie, what's up?" Liam smiled sweetly as he opened his door, fighting to keep the pain from his facial features. 

 

"Ah, nothing, nothing" she laughed nervously. "I just... I saw Niall storm out of here - is everything alright?" 

 

Liam sighed heavily, eyes drifting to the floor; sadness welling up inside him. "I met up with Danielle because someone - I don't know who - thought it would be a good idea to get her to have a word with me about Niall. Only... he thinks we had some sort of... romantic reunion." 

 

Perrie's heart hammered against her chest. She had been the one to call Danielle - off of Louis advice, yeah. But her call had inevitably sent Danielle off on her little mission; how that backfired! "That's why he's so angry." she mused to herself and Liam nodded quickly. 

 

"He said he's going to Ireland for a few days... needed a break and... I don't know what to do." 

 

She moved forward to wrap her arms around Liam, hugging him tightly. "Talk to him, convince him to stay."

 

"He won't listen to me - he's too angry," Liam sighed as he pulled away from Perrie. "I think we both.... I think a bit of space will do us some good - well, I hope it will anyway." 

 

"Yeah... listen, I'm going to head to Zayn's now but... if you need a chat or anything just pop in, alright, babe?" 

 

Liam nodded a goodbye and gave Perrie a sweet smile before he turned on his heel and walked back into his flat. 

 

As soon as she walked into Zayn's flat she made a beeline for him and practically jumped on him for a cuddle; partly because she missed him and needed a hug and partly because she was feeling bad for Niall and Liam; not only had she and Zayn meddled in their relationship, but the others had too and as far as she could see it, it had pushed them apart rather than brought them closer together. 

 

"Niall and Liam have had another fight," she mumbled with a sad pout. "What have we done?" 

 

"What do you mean?" Zayn chuckled softly. "We only gave them an encouraging push - they needed it. They just don't know it yet." 

 

"No, there's something else," she mumbled and Zayn pulled her up so she could look at her face. #

 

"What...? I haven't done anything else - what... did you do something?" he asked quickly and Perrie looked away from him guiltily. 

 

"I called Danielle and asked her to have a word with Liam - you know.... get him to talk to Niall."

 

"He saw them together, didn't he?" Zayn asked and Perrie nodded slowly. "No wonder he was so annoyed before - Harry said he was hammered and shouting all sorts of stuff about leaving."

 

"Liam said.... Niall's going to Ireland for a few days." Perrie muttered quietly and Zayn practically jumped off the sofa. 

 

"No way, he can't do that!" he hissed, running his hands over his face. "i have to go and talk to him."

 

"I'd leave it if I was you," Perrie sighed. "I bumped into him in the hall and he was not in a good mood."

 

"But-" Zayn started but Perrie cut him off, pulling him back down onto the sofa, hugging him. 

 

"Give him a bit of space - that's what they both need. We've all done too much meddling and... I think we should just leave it to them now." 

 

"Yeah..." he sighed kissing Perrie's head. "I don't think Niall will go home, anyway." 

 

\--

 

Zayn couldn't have been more wrong. Niall had sobered up a great deal; he'd taken a cold shower, drank 3 or 4 cups of coffee, changed his clothes and packed enough stuff in his suitcase for a few days. He was on the phone booking a last minute flight when he heard his front door open and close quickly. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose; this whole open door policy he and the boys had going on had to stop. 

 

Liam took in his surroundings, noticing the small suitcase by the door and his heart pounded; Niall was actually going to leave. He had to stop him. Liam sprinted through the flat finding Niall in the kitchen, phone pressed to his ear.

 

He pulled the phone from Niall's hands and ended the call; he didn't know who he was calling and to be honest he didn't even care. "Please don't go home." 

 

Niall sighed heavily. "You're lucky I was already finished with that call." he muttered angrily. He tried to move around Liam, but Liam stood his ground, making Niall look him in the eye. 

 

"Please don't go home," he repeated, grabbing Niall's shouders. "Stay and we.... we can sort it out or we ca-"

 

"I don't want you to go," Liam mumbled as he dropped his hands from Niall's shoulders and he looked down at the floor. Niall looked so good; his hair still damp from his shower and all flat against his forehead - Liam loved it like that. He wanted to run his fingers through it. But he reigned in his inappropriate thoughts; now wasn't the time. "Please, let's just.... let's talk. We need to sort this out."

 

"There's nothing to sort out, Liam!" Niall fumed suddenly, making Liam flinch. "I told you how I feel - I may have gone about it he wrong way but I fucking told you, and you knocked me back. What more is there to say on the situation?"

 

"I didn't knock you back, Ni," he mumbled pathetically and Niall scoffed. 

 

"You didn't exactly declare your undying love for me Liam, so I'd class that as being knocked back, turned down, rejected.... whatever!" 

"I was... confused, I-I didn't know what to think or.... anything!"

 

"Well I've done a lot of thinking and I'm not confused but..." he paused and took a steady breath. "You know what, I'm done Liam, you can.... just... whatever. I'm not going through this anymore. I'm going home to clear my head and when I get back everything will be back to normal."  

 

"Please Niall, stay and talk to me." Liam pleaded, his voice cracking, his eyes filling with tears. Niall pretended he couldn't see them.

 

"We've done the talking thing before and look where that has left us. It hasn't worked before and it isn't going to work now, is it?!" 

 

"I know I've been a twat b-but.... Niall pease, just stay!" Liam began to grow frustrated, watching Niall gather up his wallet, keys and then moving to the front door for his suitcase. Desperation grew within him, he had to get Niall to stay. He knew all he had to do was utter three small words to prove to Niall he was in this one hundred percent, but he couldn't get the words out of his mouth.

 

"My flight is in an hour Liam, I'm going and.... I'll be back in a few days." Niall said, not even bothering to turn and look Liam in the eye.

 

"Please," Liam said in a pleading tone. "Please don't leave me. I can't... I can't... be without you."

 

The tone of Liam's voice broke Niall's heart but he couldn't turn himself around. He opened the door and continued on his way, leaving Liam sink to the floor in defeat. 

 

"Hey pal, how are you?!" Harry said in a cheery voice as he met Niall in the hallway. His smile faded as he noticed the look on Niall's face and the small suitcase in his hands. "Are you going somewhere?" he asked slowly and Niall gave him a short nod. 

 

"I'm going home for a few days." he muttered as he continued on, not even bothering to give Harry anything more, not even so much as a goodbye. 

 

Harry was torn; did he run after Niall to stop him - did he run and get the boys to help him? He pulled his phone from his pocket thinking of ringing Louis or Liam - did anyone else know Niall was leaving? What the hell had happened? He had only popped out to get a pint of milk, things had seemed quiet and calm since Louis had left Liam and Niall talking, and now everything seemed like it was up in the air. "Oh, fucking shit!" Harry hissed before he sprinted after Niall. But his deliberation had taken too long and Niall was already in his car, engine on and he was reversing out of his parking space. 

 

"Niall wait!" Harry shouted but to no avail. It seemed Niall was pretty adamant on leaving. 

 

\--

 

A few days had passed and things were shittier than anyone had anticipated. First came the uproar from management about Niall's impromptu trip to Ireland without a word to anyone, and then there was Liam's constant bad mood which wasn't help by Niall's apparent brilliant mood and his stream of updates via social media. 

 

"Hey Liam, we're going out, do you want to come with us?" Louis asked, just letting himself into the flat with Harry and Zayn trailing not too far behind. 

 

"No thanks boys," Liam sighed as he threw his phone to the opposite end of the sofa; another fucking picture of Niall and some broad had been posted to twitter and Liam was at his wits end. "I think... I might just go and take a nap." 

 

"Come on!" Harry whined as he made his way over to Liam, just about ready to throttle him, and if needs be he'd fucking swim to Ireland and throttle Niall too, if it meant things went back to normal. "You've been sat in this flat for days! Come out with us - give Niall a taste of his own medicine; go out and get smashed, pull a fit bird, do....  _something_!" 

 

"Nah, I'll pass, thanks." Liam sighed as he got up from the sofa and walked to his bedroom, leaving the boys angry and confused, wondering if Liam and Niall were ever going to be able to get past this. 

\--

Niall fell into bed, his body heavy with tiredness after another night out with his friends; another night of pretending he was having the time of his life, another night pretending that coming home was the best idea he'd had in a long time. In reality it was the worst decision he'd made; in his own defense, he was pissed when told the boys of his decision and his pride had held him back from ditching his plan. So had his discussion with Liam. 

 

He had planned on his trip being cleansing; getting Liam out of his system. But it had done the opposite; he really did believe the statement: absence makes the heart grow fonder. He wanted to rip his heart from his chest; he didn't want to feel like this anymore, he wanted to get his best friend back and he wanted everything to be the way it used to be. But that wasn't going to happen because he couldn't stop himself from loving Liam in ways that went beyond a best friend. 

 

When sleep evaded him, Niall pulled his phone from his jeans pocket and opened up his twitter app. His timeline seemed to be full of mentions to Liam so he went to Liam's profile to see what all the fuss was. Liam had started a twitcam; he couldn't sleep either, Niall thought as he jumped off his bed and grabbed his laptop. He knew logging on to Liam's twitcam was a bad idea but he couldn't stop himself - he'd gone four days without any form of communication to him and, quite simply, he missed Liam's face. 

When it finally loaded Liam was giving a few shout outs and Niall's heart raced at the sound of Liam's voice. 

 

"Where is Niall?" Liam read a question out. "He's gone home for a few days... personal reasons."

 

"Do you miss him?" he read out another question and without hesitating he replied. "Of course I do."

 

"Whenever one of the boys aren't here it's like.... one of my limbs have been cut off," he paused, giving an adorable smile. "With Niall.... it's like my right arm is gone and... I can't function without my right arm, literally." 

 

Niall watched with a racing heart as the mentions flooded with messages of how cute Liam was, and he wanted to join in with them and tell everyone that he was missing Liam too. Niall decided to send Liam a text. A few months ago he would've rather tell his tumblr followers how he was feeling but enough of that. From the beginning he should've just told Liam, then he wouldn't be in the mess that he was in. 

 

**'I miss you too. I can't funtion without my left arm x'**  

 

"Ooops one sec, let me get my phone," Liam said to his army of watchers as he got off the bed to get his phone. Niall wanted him to be on the cam so he could see his face when he read his text. "I'm baaaack." he said not even a second later and Niall was confused; did he read the text and ignore it? Then Liam went quiet and put his head down. 

A minute or so later Niall's phone vibrated in his hand.  ** _'come home thennnn xxxxxx'_**  He looked up from his phone to see Liam with a undeniable smirk on his face and he couldn't help the broad grin that grew on his own mouth. Did this mean things were going to be ok? 

 

Niall stayed on and watched Liam's entire twitcam, if he could've he would've packed everything up right then and there and he would've ran to Dublin airport, but it was nearing 2am and he'd a few pints. Once he'd had a good sleep and one of his mum's breakfasts he'd be on the pane back home to Liam. He was giddy with excitement. 

 

Things just had to get better from here, they had to. 

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

Once Liam had shut his computer down he buried is face in the pillow next to him, trying to hide the wide smile plastered onto his face.

Maybe things will be alright he thought as he got up to put his laptop safely on his desk before clambering into bed, maybe things would turn out alright.

Liam was woken by a loud “LIAM PAYNE I AM IN YOUR KITCHEN MAKING BREAKFAST.” being shouted from the corridor outside Liam’s room to which Liam responded to by leaping out of bed, tangling himself in his duvet and landing on the floor with a loud ‘ooft’.

Footsteps ran  back along the corridor before Liam’s door open and Harry popped his head round, “You alright mate?” he asked clutching the pink fish slice Niall had bought him for Christmas last year. Liam smiled, the fish slice reminding him of Niall’s impending arrival.

“Li, did you hit your head?” He asked again, walking into the room and waving the fish slice in Liam’s face.

“What? No, er, I’m fine. Just realised someone’s coming over later. Sorry. Flat’s not tidy.” Liam stammered, the fish slice being waved extremely close to his face drawing him out of his daydream.

“I’m making food, quit being stupid and get up. The boys are coming over as well. Er…” Harry trailed off, clearly concerned of the fact that Liam could have a mere breakdown at the mention of Niall’s name.

“I know Niall’s supposed to be coming back today.” Liam replied almost immediately, trying not to let the smile creep back onto his face at the mention of Niall’s name. A look of confusion flashed across Harry’s face, yet before either boy could say anything else Loki bounded in, jumping onto Liam’s bundle of blankets and began licking his face.

“Well at least he’s not licking me anymore.” Harry mumbled before wandering back towards the kitchen.

“That one was a close one wasn’t it Loki?” Liam murmured into Loki’s thick fur, cuddling the dog close. Liam looked up as the noise level coming from his kitchen got considerably louder. Well, now Liam had a new problem. Reaching over Loki who was now intent on burying himself in Liam’s duvet Liam grabbed his phone.

_wut time r u cominn nialler????xcxxxx_

After making sure the text had sent Liam reluctantly got off the floor and picked up his duvet, neatly arranging it on his before heading off into the bathroom to have a shower.

Even after having a shower Liam still wasn’t sure how he was going to approach his ‘Niall situation’. Liam wasn’t sure whether he should talk to Niall first without any of the others there, or whether he should talk to Niall with the others there. Considering that most of their problems had begun with miscommunication Liam thought he’d better ask Niall first.

_cus d boys r heeerre and I don’t no if we shud talk first or wot xxxxx_

However, the fact that Niall still hadn’t replied to his first text was slightly worrying. Usually Niall would reply to texts within seconds, but maybe he had over slept, but then again he was supposed to be getting a plane.

But Liam just had to stop thinking; he was overthinking things, again.

“Liam!” Harry hollered from the kitchen. “Breakfast is ready and it’s getting coooollddd!” He sang, making a racket as he ran through into Liam’s bedroom banging a saucepan with a wooden spoon before running out again.

Well, at least he’s wearing clothes Liam thought as he followed Harry back into the kitchen where Louis and Zayn were slumped across the breakfast bar, clearly not totally up for the early (ish) morning start that was on one of their few days off.

As per usual, Harry was perfectly chipper and greeted Liam with a loud “Good morning Master Payne would you like a cup of tea that tastes like I’ve pissed in it?” Liam just nodded and smiled, suspecting that they were intending to distract home from the fact that Niall was returning.

They needn’t bother he thought to himself, but then again, they don’t need to know yet.

“Morning!” He murmured as he sat down at the breakfast bar from Zayn and Louis, all he got was a weak wave from Louis; Zayn’s crumpled figure didn’t even batter an eyelid.

 “Well what do you lads want to do today then lads?” Harry asked, and Liam could see him in the corner of his eye that he was watching Liam carefully, like he was judging Liam’s reaction.

Panicking, Liam opted for an option which would definitely put Louis and Zayn off his scent, not that they were really on it in the first place.

“I was just going to spend a day at the gym to be honest.” Liam said as flatly as he could, staring into his teacup as to avoid Harry’s piercing gaze. Luckily Harry seemed to deem this an acceptable answer and began poking Louis cheek to try and wake him up a bit more.

Liam wasn’t even going to try and imagine how this day wasn’t going to drag.

\--

Niall woke the following morning feeling like he hadn’t slept a wink, even though a quick glance at his phone told him he’d been sleeping for 9 hours. Rubbing his hands roughly through his hair Niall slowly made his way downstairs, following the smell of bacon coming from the kitchen. He shuffled in slowly, and slumped at the table; his head buried in his arms.

“You’re going back now aren’t you?” Maura asked quietly from where she was grilling the bacon on the other side of the kitchen.

“Yeah.” Niall sighed, lifting his head up wearily. The excitement from last night was gradually wearing off, only to be replaced by the bundle of nerves in the pit of Niall’s stomach.

“Well I’m glad. You need to get yourself out of whatever mess you got yourself into.” She said, placing a plate in front of Niall and ruffling his hair as she walked past, laughing softly as he batted her hands away.  Niall hadn’t told his Mum everything about had happened, but she knew enough to know that he’d got himself into one huge mess with Liam.

The chair squeaked as he pushed it back and got up, and yet just stood there, frozen in fear. “But what do I say Mum? What the hell do I say to him?” The fear had overcome him all of a sudden, clogging up his throat, holding him to the ground.

Maura just smiled softly, holding his face in her hands. “Niall James Horan. If you don’t bring this boy home for Christmas, don’t count on there being any extra potatoes for you!” She joked, squeezing his cheeks lightly before bringing her hands down to rest on his shoulders. “You just need to stop thinking and just do what you heart tells you to,” she prodded his chest lightly, “and get on that damned plane.”

After finishing his breakfast Niall trudged upstairs, and as he wandered into his bedroom, groaning out loud as his phone died whilst he was trying to open the text from Liam. “Shit.” He cursed and threw his phone into the bottom of his suitcase as he began to pack.

Three hours later Niall found himself walking through a deserted airport, beanie and sunglasses on, hoping they would be enough to grant him anonymity.  Thankfully they were and soon enough Niall found himself in a taxi heading home to hopefully fix this mess at last.

Hopefully.

The taxi slowly pulled up and Niall got out quietly, tipping the driver and walking into the lobby as fast as he could. He kept his head down as he wandered in, heading straight for the lift even though it was completely empty.

The lift doors opened with a ping, and Niall stepped out into the empty corridor and soon found himself face to face with Liam’s front door, and he was absolutely shitting himself. If you had asked in this time 6 months ago that he would be afraid to knock on Liam’s front door from the sheer fear of being beaten to a pulp he would have laughed right back in your face.

He held his hand up to knock but then stopped, his confidence wavering. But the sound of Harry’s voice floating up the stairs made his decision very quickly for him.

“Louisssssss! Why did you decide the stairs would be a good option?”

“Because the lift was engaged Harold and you couldn’t be bothered to wait so _get a move on.”_

Frantically Niall began tapping on Liam’s door.

“Quick Liam,” He murmured to himself, “Get a move on!”

After what felt like an age Liam opened the door, his eyes going wide at the sight of Niall in front of him, but soon he heard Harry and Louis making their way up the stairs and grabbed Niall and pulled him, shutting the door with a loud bang behind him.

“I’m sorry.” Liam said quietly, his voice cracking. “I- ” He stopped talking and looked at the ground. Niall watched him take a deep breath in before continuing.  “I over reacted and I’m sorry.”

All Niall could do was stare at Liam opened mouthed. He was sorry. _He was sorry?_

“Liam, shut up.” Niall said, throwing his bag to the floor and pushing Liam up against the door. “Stop talking.” He whispered and pressed his lips to Liam’s, something he should of done a very long time ago.

It was as all first kisses should be. Sweet, soft, gentle. Yet it soon became one full of passion, lust and feelings deeper than either of them had imagined.

The moan that escaped Niall’s mouth was completely involuntary as he felt Liam’s tongue brush across his lower lip in a way that shouldn’t even be legal. At that moment Niall couldn’t think of anything else, all he could think about was _liamliamliam._

Eventually they broke apart gasping for air and Niall leant forward, wrapping his arms around Liam’s neck, pressing his head into the crook of Liam’s neck. In response Liam wrapped his own arms around Niall’s slim waist and pulled him tighter, pressing a soft kiss to his head.

“Why didn’t you reply to any of my texts?” Liam asked once they had both got their breath back.

“Phone broke.”

“I’ve been worried sick! I thought you’d died, I thought I was going to have to call Harry, I-”

“Hey,” Niall lifted his head off Liam’s chest and looked him in the eye, “You worry too much. I’m here now, that’s all that matters. Now,” he cocked his eyebrow and took Liam’s hands in his own before taking a step backwards, “I don’t know about you, but I could think of a much more comfortable place than your front door to be at this moment in time.”

A dirty smile flickered onto Liam’s face as he followed Niall’s retreating footsteps towards Liam’s bedroom.

“Should I be worried?” He asked darkly.

“Very.” Niall mouthed, his back hitting the wall outside of Liam’s room with a quiet thud.

_“_ I wouldn’t be so sure.” Liam replied as he began kissing down Niall’s jaw, stopping every now and again sucking deep red marks onto Niall’s neck as he moved down Niall’s body and Niall was powerless. All he could do was throw his head back and moan as Liam’s hand palmed him through his trousers. _How the fuck did he get there that quickly?_ Niall thought and he got as far as wondering how none of them knew that Liam had moves this good before his brain short circuited.

Their activities however, were cut short by Harry’s and Louis shouts as they entered the flat.

“Shit.” Niall whispered. “What are we going to do now?”

If it were any other situation Niall would have laughed at the expression of panic on Liam’s face. Yet this wasn’t any situation and to be honest Niall would prefer to be reunited with Harry once he had the protection of Paul, not when he was in the middle of getting in Liam’s pants.

Without a word Liam yanked Niall into his room and pushed him towards the bathroom, a finger to his lips.

“Harry! Louis! Aren’t I allowed to take a shower in peace?” Liam called as he walked into the corridor.

Niall didn’t know how long Liam would be with Harry and Louis so he climbed into Liam’s bath tub and began flicking through Liam’s book that was balanced on the chest of draws next to it.

 If only I had my bag, he thought. I need to finish the final- oh.

Then it hit him.

It wouldn’t make a difference if he was hiding.

Harry would know he was here.

His bag was by the door. 


	16. Chapter 16

"Oh we didn't think you'd be in the shower - weren't you going to the gym - shouldn't you shower afterwards?" Harry frowned and Liam simply shrugged.

"I... uh, I decided not to go," he stuttered, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Louis glanced around the room, noticing the bag by the front door; knowing straight away it was Niall's bag – well, well, well, what was going on here?

"Well, do you want to come out with us - were going to grab some lunch?" Louis asked with a smirk - would Liam tell them about Niall? "We'll wait for you here while you shower."

"Yeah," Harry shrugged in agreement, moving toward the living room.

"NO!" Liam shouted in panic. "I mean... uh... I don't fancy lunch. I just... want to be on my own."

"Are you sure, Li-" Harry started but Louis nudged him with his elbow. "Ow! What are you doing?" he moaned and Louis looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"If Liam doesn't want to come then we can't force him, can we?" he said slowly, nodding his head towards the door. "We'll see you later!" Louis smiled widely as he dragged Harry out the door, slamming it behind him.

"Niall's back and he's in there with Liam!" Louis hissed excitedly as he bounded down the hallway to his and Louis' place.

"What - how do you know?" Harry asked, confused - he was pretty sure he hadn't seen Niall - had he missed something?

"I saw his bag by the door," he grinned and Harry frowned deeper.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure!" he exclaimed. "They're making it up - finally!"

"I wonder why he didn't tell us?" Louis mused after a minute and Harry shrugged.

"Maybe they don't want us to know yet?" he mumbled as he wandered through to the kitchen. "But we do know, and they don't know that we know." suddenly a wicked grin appeared on Harry face, Louis rolled his eyes.

"Don't start planning anything, Harry." he sighed, patting Harry's head softly.

"But-" he started to protest, but stopped when Louis glared at him.

"No - we've done enough. Just leave them be."

\--

Liam went back to the bathroom to see Niall sat in the bath. He chuckled softly. "Why are you sat in there?"

"It's comfier than the toilet," he laughed and Liam shook his head; he's so goofy sometimes. "What did the boys want?"

"Wanted me to go to lunch," Liam shrugged as he held out his hand to help Niall out of the bath. "I told them I didn't fancy it."

"Did you tell them I was here?" he asked quickly and Liam shook his head.

"I just... we don't need to have them involved yet, do we?" he asked and Niall shrugged in agreement, before he sighed, scratching his neck nervously.

"They'll know anyway."

"Why?" Liam asked quickly, eyes wide.

"I left my bag by the front door, didn't I?" Niall shrugged. "Harry doesn't miss a thing - he'll know, and he won't keep it from Louis."

Liam mulled it over for a moment, and quickly realised that the boys did know - they'd made a very swift, pretty shifty, quick exit from the flat. "I think it was Louis... who spotted your bag." Liam mumbled and Niall sighed.

"Yeah but... it's alright," Liam was quick to add. "Because... they don't know that... we know that... they know." he said with a little frown and Niall cracked up, doubling over with laughter.

\--

The two boys sat on the sofa, comfortably wrapped up in each other, glued to a film neither had ever seen before.

If he was being honest, Liam had thought they'd be in the bedroom, picking up where they were interrupted by Harry and Louis. But Niall just wanted to eat some food and watch a film - nothing new there.

Niall had actually wanted to do some talking, but so far he hadn't found it within himself to say anything. He was nervous about it, and he didn't even know why!

"Do you want a drink?" Liam asked, his voice husky; sending shivers down Niall's spine.

Niall shook his head. "I'm alright, thanks."

"Well, I'll be right back," he mumbled as he unwrapped himself from Niall's warm embrace.

In the kitchen Liam stood at the sink, staring into space as he filled his glass with water. What was going on, he mused to himself. What were he and Niall doing? Both had been desperate to reunite, yet they had done nothing to show it. Liam couldn't help feeling like this was all that was going to happen between him and Niall - nights spent cuddling in front of the TV, a few snatched kisses here and there. Why couldn't he just pull himself together; what was there to be scared of - it was just Niall!

"I think I’m going to head home," Niall said suddenly, making Liam jump out of his skin. He dropped his glass into the sink and spun around to face Niall. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

"It's alright," Liam laughed, clutching his chest. "I was in a bit of a daydream there."

"Right," Niall nodded stiffly. "Well... I'll be off home then."

"Why?" Liam asked quickly. "D-don't-- do you... want to-- uh... you can stay here, if you want?"

Niall shook his head quickly. "Not a good idea with the open door policy; the boys will have us rumbled in no time."

What is there for them to rumble, Liam grumbled to himself. They hadn't exactly done anything that they wouldn't normally do. "Yeah, you're right," he shrugged. "Well... we have an interview in the morning and then that gig in Manchester."

"Yeah, I know," Niall smiled. He loved it when Liam rattled off the schedule even when Niall and the boys knew what was going on. "I'm looking forward to it."

"Me too," Liam mumbled.

"Right, well... I'll see you in the morning."

"Bye," Liam said quietly. Did he cross the room to give Niall a kiss goodbye? Even if he wanted to Niall didn't give him the chance; before he knew it the door was slammed shut, making Liam jump and causing him to have a rush of loneliness, and in his own bloody home.

\--

"Heeey!" Niall heard Zayn cheer; he turned around just as his friend wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tightly. "I'm glad you're back. I missed you, you shithead."

Niall chuckled softly. "I missed you too, buddy."

"Have you just got back?" Zayn asked, briefly looking at his watch. Niall nodded stiffly, deciding he wasn't going to let Zayn know he'd spent the afternoon with Liam, and it didn't exaclty go as well as he thought it would. "Come up to mine for a few drinks?"

"Nah, I'm a bit tired - think I'll just get me head down for the night. Plus, we've got work in the morning."

"That's never stopped you before," Zayn chuckled, hoping Niall would too; he didn't get a reaction. "Are you sure you don't want a drink?" he asked with a frown; Niall hardly ever turned down a beer! Niall nodded again before he turned to stick his key in the door.

"See ya in the morning." he said over his shoulder as he let himself into the flat, slamming the door behind him.

He stood in the living room, hating the silence, and the lonely feelings he had around him - he really didn't want to be here; he wanted to be across the hall with Liam. Why did he bloody come home!?!

\--

"Heeey! Niall's back!" Zayn cheered as he let himself into Harry and Louis' flat.

"We know," they shot back, sighing at the same time and Zayn frowned deeply.

"How do you know? I've literally just seen him going into his flat with his bag."

"He's been at Liam's all day," Harry mumbled, eyes glued to the television.

"We went there earlier and I saw Niall's bag by the door - they didn't tell us about it though." Louis said, sighing at Harry for being a useless little shit - why did he never elaborate on things?

"Why?"

"Dunno," Harry shrugged. "Probably wanted a bit of time on their own."

"Do we blame them?" Louis said arms outstretched. "After all we did to them!"

"Oh chill out, you bloody drama queen," Harry chuckled and Louis's punched his leg. "Ow! Don't hit me." he laughed like a child.

"No, I feel really bad, and I want them to make things up," Louis said seriously and Zayn sighed loudly as he joined the two of them on the couch.

"I don't think things went all that well," he mumbled and it was Louis and Harry's turn to frown.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked quickly.

"Well when I saw Niall I asked him if he wanted to come to mine for a few drinks, and he said no."

"That's doesn't mean anything, Zayn," Louis said rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

"How many times have you known Niall to favour going to bed over having a few drinks?" Zayn asked, raising his eyebrows.

Louis and Harry stayed quiet for a moment; it was a well-known fact that Niall loved to have a few drinks - he was Irish, what could you do? But did that really mean things had been rough with Liam?

"Nah, he's probably just tired," Louis said after a few minutes. Neither Harry or Zayn agreed with him. "We'll find out tomorrow, won't we?"

\--

Niall had spent the night tossing and turning in his bed, so tired but he just couldn't get to sleep.

He couldn't understand why he and Liam hadn't furthered their relationship; why hadn't they done anything? Now that things were out in the open, surely they were past the awkward stage? They had fought about it, they had separated for a few days, and they had realised they were in love - so why weren't they moving forward?

Niall groaned as he dragged himself from his bed, checking the time; 6am - he couldn't spend one more minute in bed staring at the fucking ceiling, so he set on having a nice hot shower. As he left his room, Niall frowned when he heard a bang come from his kitchen; if the boys had decided to let themselves in to make breakfast, he'd go absolutely crackers.

He wandered down to the kitchen, with his bath towel thrown over his shoulder, stopping short when he saw Liam stood by the cooker, frying some bacon and eggs.

"Hi!" Liam beamed as he looked up from the frying pan.

"Hi, um... wh- uh... why are you in my kitchen?" Niall mumbled, frowning slightly; he wasn't expecting Liam, and he surely wasn't expecting him to be so chipper.

"What does it look like?" Liam smirked. "I thought it'd be nice to make some breakfast for us."

"What about-"

“I invited the boys too," Liam cut Niall off, smiling sweetly. "They'll be here soon, so you better get eating before the barge in here and start scoffing."

"There'll be no scoffing of my food in my house," Niall murmured with a firm nod. Liam chuckled as he placed a plate on the table and motioned for Niall to sit. "Uh...thank you." He said as he nervously sat down.

Liam placed a soft kiss on Niall's lips, "it’s my pleasure."

Niall was confused; he left Liam in the lurch last night - why was he being so nice? He nervously cleared his throat and set down his knife and fork; he was starving but he had to talk. "Are we...ok?" He mumbled and Liam frowned, quickly taking a seat beside him.

"Of course we are; why are you asking?" He said in a soft tone, placing his hand on Niall's knee.

"I- well...last night didn't really go...anywhere and I just went home," Niall said, nervously biting his fingernails. "Are you itching to have it out with me - aren't you wondering why I just went home?" 

"If you were anything like me then- I mean, I was so bloody nervous after Louis and Harry, you know...nearly caught us..."

"I was nervous after that too, and I don't know why!" Niall exclaimed quickly, causing Liam to chuckle.

"So...let's take it slow - we don't need to rush, do we?" He asked and Niall quickly agreed. "Just because we've known each other for years, doesn't mean we don't treat this like any other new relationship we'd be-"

"So, this- we- its...are we in a relationship?" Niall asked, cutting Liam off and his cheeks tinged pink. Liam nodded slowly, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

"If you want to be." Liam said quickly, his heart racing; he was sure it was hammer out of his chest at any moment.

Niall couldn't stop the smile that grew on his mouth; he had wanted to hear that more than he bloody knew, and it was incredible. "You know I want to." He smiled and Liam quickly pulled Niall close to him, kissing him deeply.

Zayn, Louis and Harry were stood at the front door; Harry kept his foot against it to stop it from closing and announcing their arrival. After Liam and Niall stopped talking Louis looked at Harry and Zayn, grinning.

"Oh my god!" He giggled quietly. "They... fucking hell." He shook his head; he couldn't believe Liam and Niall had actually grown some balls and dealt with their feelings.

Harry slammed the door loudly, "Good morning!" He shouted before he sauntered through to the kitchen. He was hoping to catch the boys in a loving embrace, but alas, they were both sat eating, with flushed cheeks and cheeky smirks.

"Well, this nice," Zayn mumbled as he sat beside Niall, nudging him in the ribs. "All the boys back together, lovin' life."

"Yeah, so how's it going, Liam... Niall?" Harry asked, looking between the two boys, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Fine." They both mumbled, cheeks flushing that little bit more.

Liam and Niall exchanged a look, smiling. They weren't going to tell the boys yet. It was almost exciting to keep it a secret, for a little bit. Little did they know, the boys had heard the whole thing and they weren't going to let them get away with it.


	17. Chapter 17

The buzzing of Niall’s phone interrupted Louis and Harry’s loud discussion about how crispy Liam should cook the bacon next time he made breakfast, and Liam was thankful for the interruption.  He knew both of them were dying to ask him questions about what was going on, and he wasn’t going to give them the opportunity to do so any time soon.

Swallowing his mouthful of toast quickly Niall answered his phone. “Hello?”

A loud voice burst into the receiver on the other end of the phone but Liam couldn’t work out what they were saying and soon lost interest; it was too early to put that much effort into being that nosy. As Niall’s voice faded into the background Liam stared sleepily into his tea; lazily stirring it with a spoon. He’d gotten up even earlier to make sure he went for a jog before cooking breakfast and he would happily climb back into bed, dragging Niall with him.

Just as Liam went to lean sleepily against Niall’s shoulder he remembered that the other boys were in the kitchen, and they weren’t up to date with the Niall situation.

Liam was drawn out of his sleepy state by Harry repeatedly poking his ribs. “Liam, you need to take a shower, you stink. The ladies aren’t going to want a piece of the Payne if he smells like yesterday’s dirty socks.” He smirked before taking a sip of his tea, holding eye contact with Liam. This unnerved Liam slightly, he was used to an assortment of odd behaviour from the band, but Harry seemed unusually smug and chipper for this time in the morning.

Niall hung up and placed his phone down with a contented sigh. “Well lads, it seems like we’ve got a few extra hours to do nothing. The interview has been scheduled for tomorrow so we’re meeting at the venue around half 1 for sound check.”

“I’m going back to bed.” Zayn yawned, and drank the remainder of coffee in his mug. “Someone come and wake me when we need to go.” He waved lethargically before shuffling out of Niall’s flat and back towards his own.

“Well I don’t know about you lads but I might stick around here for a bit.” Louis said, smiling sweetly at Niall.

Wanker, Niall thought before remembering the towel on his shoulder. “Erm, well I need to have a shower and er Liam’s going to fix my bed.”

“I bet he is.” Louis muttered under his breath whereas Harry was completely side tracked by this piece of seemingly meaningless information.

“You still haven’t got that fixed?!”

“No?” Niall replied, but it sounded more like a question. Truthfully Niall had bought himself a new bed, but Harry didn’t need to know that just yet.

Liam didn’t say a word during this little snippet of conversation.  He was sweaty and wanted a shower but at the same time his eagerness to make up for lost time with Niall overrode everything else and was a number one priority.

“Why can’t Niall fix his own bed, _Liam_?” Louis asked.

“Have you seen Niall try to attempt any form of DIY Lou, jesus.” Liam joked but he was starting to get slightly annoyed with Louis now. Why couldn’t he just take Harry and leave?

Throughout the time they had been eating breakfast Niall had subtly shuffled his stool closer and closer to Liam, and whilst Liam and Harry began discussing gym workouts and Louis was seeing how much sugar he could sprinkle in Harry’s tea before he noticed, Niall slowly slid his hand across Liam’s knee and dragged his hand up and down his thigh.

Liam momentarily tensed his leg but soon relaxed, but his facial expression remained completely neutral. But it seemed to Liam that Niall had done enough waiting, he began squeezing Liam’s thigh and continued to run his hand higher, squeezing Liam’s thigh before pinching the sensitive skin on his hip.

Reaching down Liam grabbed Niall’s hand and linked their fingers together, which Liam couldn’t help but think was Niall’s goal all along, and as Niall lightly squeezed his hand in reply Liam couldn’t help the dopey smile that slid onto his face.

“What’s got you smiling sweetcheeks?” Louis smirked.

“Might go out for another jog.” Liam smiled sweetly.

“Exercise? You disgust me Liam.” Louis paused to take a sip of his tea and Liam had to bite his lip to try and contain his laughter, feeling Niall doing something similar as they both watched Harry smiling smugly as Louis took an enormous gulp of tea. He promptly spat said gulp of tea into the sink next to him, causing the other boys to erupt into loud laughter.

“Wanker.” He muttered, swatting Harry on the back of the head as he dipped his tea into the sink.

Liam and Niall were still giggling and Niall had buried his head in the crook of Liam’s shoulder to try and stem the seemingly endless flow of giggles and Liam felt all warm and fuzzy.

Seemingly sensing the lack of conversation Louis got up from the table, dragging Harry with him, shouting his goodbyes as they walked out the door.

As the door shut with a loud bang Liam’s giggles slowly faded away, leaving him slightly breathless.

“I think we managed okay.” Niall whispered quietly, still not wanting to speak loudly in case Louis was attempting to listen through the door. Liam snorted loudly, then got up and began clearing up the mess that the other boys seemed to leave wherever they went.

“Hey! Stop Li, this isn’t your flat, leave it. I’ll sort it out later.” Niall mumbled, hopping off his stool and jumped on Liam’s back, trying to steer him away from the kitchen.

“Liar. You won’t touch it for at least a week.” Liam retorted, but he wasn’t annoyed with Niall at all, not even in the slightest. This playful banter was what he’d been missing for weeks and the fact that they were in a _proper relationship_ now didn’t change things much at all; just the fact that things could go just that little bit further.

Liam turned his body so he could shove Niall off onto a counter and carry on tiding up but Niall wasn’t having any of it. Niall tucked his ankles around Liam’s waist and began peppering the back of his neck with little kisses.

“Niall!” Liam whined, trying to continue towards the dirty washing yet his resistance was already crumbling. “I need to-”

“Need to what babe?” Niall asked innocently before nipping the top of Liam’s ear and moving round Liam’s body so he was facing Liam and his ankles were crossed across Liam’s lower back. “What do you need to do?”

“You.” Liam muttered before swiftly carrying Niall into the corridor towards his bedroom. Niall’s back hit the wall with a quiet thump before Liam could carry Niall any further so Liam set to work on sucking a deep red mark onto Niall’s neck, the urge to show people that Niall was his overruled everything else.  Satisfied with his work Liam kissed Niall deeply once more, not even bothering to try and conceal the almost pornographic moans that were coming from his mouth.

“Mmm, Li, wait bathroom.” Niall mumbled against Liam’s lips.

Reluctantly Liam drew back, slightly confused. “Why?” He asked before kissing Niall again.

“I need a shower and,” He kissed Liam lightly before carrying on, “that door has a lock.”

“Point taken.”

Liam staggered into the bathroom and shut the door with shaking hands, finally connecting with Niall in a way he’d never done before. His lips feverishly connecting with Niall’s in his haste to get ever closer to the boy he loved.

\--

A while later Niall and Liam emerged from the bathroom clean and warm but still looking extremely dishevelled and well-kissed.

Niall stumbled into his bedroom and flopped down face first onto his bed. “I don’t want to move. I’m too tired. No one warned me I would get fucked that hard in my own bloody shower.” His voice was muffled slightly by the pillow he had buried his face in.

“The fans would murder you if you didn’t turn up for the gig because you were too tired.” Liam giggled and joined Niall on the bed.

“Liam. As your boyfriend I demand frequent cuddles and lots of attention.”

“Well, you and that pillow seem to be getting on quite nicely and I wouldn’t want to interrupt. And I seem to remember you being ‘too tired to move’” He made speech mark gestures as he quoted Niall, smirking when Niall looked up to glare at him.

“I am never too tired for a cuddle.” He grumbled, shoving the pillow aside and snuggled up into Liam’s side.

“That’s what I like to hear.” Liam whispered as he wrapped his arms around Niall’s slim frame and buried his nose in his hair.

“Why didn’t we just realise that we make a kick ass couple sooner Li?” Niall asked quietly as he traced the outlines of Liam’s abs.

Liam hesitated before he answered. The easiest thing for Liam to say would be ‘you were a dick’ but that wasn’t strictly true. Eventually he said “I think that neither of us were prepared to take the plunge and actually verbalise what we were feeling and confided in other people or other things to distract us, which obviously led to one huge mess.”

The room fell quiet before Niall replied quietly, “I’m sorry. I know it’s mostly my fault and saying all that stuff on tumblr was the worst thing to do an-”

“Niall. It’s fine, calm down love. I’m sure we can put your tumblr skills to good use someday.”  Liam said, cupping Niall’s cheek and kissing him softly. “But we’re here now, so let’s just enjoy our final moments of piece.”

\--

“Shit! Niall get up!” Liam shouted, scrambling up off the bed.

“What?” Niall grumbled groggily, his hair sticking up in various different directions. “What’s going on?”

“It’s one o’clock you dick we’ve got be in sound check in half an hour.” He yelled as he shoved on his jeans and pulled his t-shirt over his head.

“Bloody hell!” Niall screeched as he fell out of bed and hit the floor.

“Stop messing around!” Liam wheezed as he tried to stop laughing at Niall’s expression and carry on getting ready.

Niall just glared at him in reply and quickly got dressed himself.

Eventually Liam and Niall were in Niall’s range rover and well on their way to the studio. “Well they did say half one…” Niall trailed off as he wistfully stared at the McDonalds as they drove past it.

“You can stay round mine tonight and I’ll cook for you tonight Nialler.” Liam said firmly, he wasn’t the best at cooking but he would try his best.”

“But you’ll be knackered after the gig.” Niall mumbled, his eyebrow furrowed in concern as he turned to face Liam.

“Eyes on the road!” Liam screeched; Niall just rolled his eyes and turned back to the road. He continued once he was sure Niall was concentrating on the road, “Well I’ll cook for you tomorrow then. The interview will probably be in the morning so I can sort something out during the afternoon.”

Niall blushed and Liam reached over to entwine their fingers, this was the life he was striving after.

\--

Niall parked the car and as he turned to unto his seatbelt Liam gasped in shock. “How are we going to hide that?”

“Hide what?” Niall looked around in confusion.

“The rather large mark I seemed to have left on your neck.” Liam giggled weakly.

Turning in his chair Niall leant over to inspect the blooming red mark on his neck in the rearview mirror. “Bloody hell Liam, that’s a cracker that.”

Looking up Liam’s eyes met with Niall’s and they both burst into loud laughter and they were still giggling like a pair of children when they wandered into the venue and joined the others.

“There you are!” Harry yelled, jumping on Liam’s back as he ran up behind.

They were joined shortly by Louis who seemed to be in a particularly dramatic mood and intent on impersonating Mrs Weasley.  “Where HAVE you been? Harry, how wonderful to see you, dear.  Beds empty, no note, phones off! You could have DIED!” He paused, spotting the enormous hickey on Niall’s neck. “Or you could have been receiving the mother of all hickeys! Of course I don’t blame you Harry dear, your hickeys are delightful.”

Harry just hopped off Liam’s back and skipped over to Louis and kissed him on the cheek before turning back to Liam and Niall, smiling smugly.

Liam didn’t know what to say at all. And it seemed that Niall didn’t either, well that was until he said, “I went out by myself last night. Some dick got a bit too into it.” There was no blushing or stammering, and Liam was mightily impressed with Niall’s acting skills.

Yet even though the event was fictional, Liam still felt a wave of jealousy sweep through him because to everyone else Niall was still thought of as single, and Liam was powerless to stop this while they hid their relationship.

The fact that more often than not Liam’s emotions were played across his face like a television screen came in handy for him this time as it probably seemed to Louis and Harry that Liam was upset by this, causing them to back of quickly.

“Er, back in a minute.” Louis muttered and dragged Harry away with him.

Turning to Liam Niall gazed at him. “You know that was a complete lie right?”

Liam blushed. “Of course I know that.” He grumbled. “But to everyone else you’re still single, and people will still through them at you and what if you see someone who’s better, fitter and more interesting than I am?” Liam felt his cheeks heat up even more as he confessed; now Niall’s going to think I’m a right twat he thought.

“Don’t be such a knob Liam.” He punched Liam lightly on the arm before leaning over to whisper in his ear. “I’m sure you can think of a way to put all that sexual frustration to good use.”

That went straight to Liam’s dick. Well thanks Niall he thought wryly, I love performing with a semi. The sound check itself appeared to go okay, with Liam only noticed Harry and Louis shooting them concerned looks a few times.

It was during the show that things went a little bit pear-shaped.

\--

“Thank you for coming tonight, we feel so honoured that you’ve brought us this far and given us the amazing opportunity to keep performing to you guys.” Liam reeled off his usual line before turning and nodding to Zayn who began the twitter questions.

“As always we’ve got a couple of twitter questions lined up, so give me a scream if you’re reaaddyyy!” Zayn yelled and Liam couldn’t help but smile in wonder and the volume of the screams and cheers increased dramatically; even though it didn’t appear that they could get any louder a few moments before. This is what Liam loved doing, and he would give anything to do it for as long as he could.

“And the first question is from Becca, and it says ‘Can any of you guys yodel?’” Harry reads the question off the screen and turns to Zayn, “Well?”

Zayn attempted weakly before Niall punched him in the arm. “That was terrible Malik!” He laughed before attempting to yodel himself, and was equally as bad.

Liam held his hands up in protest when Harry’s eyes fell on him. “No! I’m not even going to try it’s not worth it!”

“Party pooper!” Louis snorted before attempting to yodel at the same time as Harry. The result was similar to a cat dragging its claws down a blackboard.

“Well I think that’s all the evidence you need to prove that One Direcion can’t yodel.” Liam muttered before Louis jumped on Liam, complaining that Liam didn’t even try and he could be the new one hit yodel wonder.  Shouts of ‘Lilo’ echoed throughout the arena and out the corner of his eye Liam saw Niall tense up before striding over and pulling Louis off him.

Shouts of ‘Niam’ then filled the arena and Niall seemed to relax slightly. Liam tried to ignore the burning stares of Louis, Harry and Zayn in the side of his head as he read out the next question; still leaning on Niall. “Who gives the nicest cuddles?”

“Liam.” Niall replied almost immediately and his cheeks pinked up as he realised how quickly he’s answered the question.

“I think I’ll have to say Liam too.” Zayn agreed and walked over and wrapped his arms around Liam’s waist. “He’s like a buff teddy bear.” This seemed to be the signal for a mass cuddle on stage which the crowd absolutely loved, and Liam could feel Niall’s squeeze his hand before releasing it quickly.

The expression on Louis face seemed to be the very definition of smug, and Liam had the uneasy feeling that he would be pounced on as soon as the show ended.  His thoughts were interrupted by Louis reading out the last question.

“Do you any of you have tumblr or know about the Lord of the Shippers?”

Liam’s stomach plummeted to the ground.

“Oh we’ve heard _all_ about that.” Louis grinned, “Haven’t we Harry?”

“Oh we have Louis.” Harry agreed. “It’s a very peculiar thing, and tumblr seems to fuel obsessions for the weirdest things and the things people write about us, well...” he trailed off before shooting Niall an evil grin. Even in the lights of the stage Liam could see the Irishman pale.

The rest of the show passed in a blur and soon they were all stumbling off stage, fighting their way to the dressing room. As they were walking down the corridor Lou popped her head round the door and dragged Harry into a room and naturally Louis followed him like a loyal puppy.

Zayn sauntered off, muttering something about needing a cigarette and soon it was just Niall and Liam alone in the dressing room. The Irishman still looked a bit pale, and Liam’s stomach twisted into one huge knot. He didn’t like seeing Niall like that and pulled him into a hug and kissed the top of his head.

“You alright Nialler?”

“What if people find out it was me? What will I do, what will management say, the fans will hate me.” Niall gushed and looked up at Liam, his eyes wide and afraid.

“It’ll be fine Niall. No one else has to know and I’m pretty sure the fans will be delighted you joined the dark side.” He smiled warmly and kissed Niall chastely. “And you can be sure as hell that I won’t be going anywhere.”

Niall leant up and kissed Liam hungrily, biting on his lips, moving his hands so they were gripping the back of Liam’s head. Liam responded with equal vigour, tangling his tongue with Niall’s as they both fought for dominance.

They were so caught up in each other that they didn’t notice the door open and a figure slip in.

“And the source of the undeniable sexual tension is…” A voice drawled behind them.

Liam and Niall sprang apart like they’d been electrocuted but still held onto each other tightly.

Josh stood there, leaning against the door, a bemused expression on his face. “I take it no one else is aware of this?”

They both shook their heads at him, neither daring to speak.

“Well,” Josh sighed as he sat down heavily in one of the chairs. “You have about 30 seconds to dig yourselves out of that hole with a good explanation.

 


	18. Chapter 18

Liam gawked at Josh, unsure of what to say. He'd never imagined being caught in such a compromising position with Niall; he was mute. Niall on the other hand, scoffed loudly, folding his arms across his chest.

"I don't have to explain anything to you." he spat and Josh laughed loudly, lolling his head onto the back of the chair.

"Ohhh," Joshed sighed, calming from his laughing fit. "I'm just joking boys, obviously."

Liam sighed, shaking his head, "You're an idiot, mate, you really are."

"I'm sorry," he smirked, holding his hands up, as a way of apology. "I just thought it'd be a laugh."

"Not funny," Niall snapped, shaking his head.

"Yeah, I can see that now."

The three boys fell into a tense silence, staring each other down; Niall wasn't ready for anyone to know about him and Liam - the boys knew, yeah, but that was ok; the boys knew everything. He considered Josh "one of the lads", but right now, he was furious with him - why did he think it was ok to joke around like that?

Liam wasn't really all that bothered about Josh knowing - he was just more bothered about being caught snogging Niall. He wasn't really the type to allow PDA, and he always hated being caught.

"Look, I'm not going to say anything," Josh sighed, standing up from the chair.

"Yeah, you better not," Niall snapped harshly. "Its not your place anyway."

"I won't, Niall, I swear." Josh held his hands out, protesting his honesty for Niall. Niall shook his head before he turned to walk out of the room.

"I need some air." he mumbled before he rushed out of the room.

Josh looked at Liam apologetically, "I'm sorry, mate - I didn't mean anything by that... you know, I thought it'd just be a bit of banter."

Liam shook his head, waving off Josh's apology, "It's alright, mate. Niall's got other things playing on his mind right now - he just took everything out on you."

Silence fell over them once again, Liam rocked back and forth on his heels, debating whether or not to rush off and find Niall.

"So... you and Niall - how long has that been going on?" Josh asked, nervously clearing his throat.

"Uh...not long actually," Liam shrugged, smiling. "That's why we don't really want anyone to know."

"No, I know, I get it," he said nodding. "I'm... happy for you both. You know I always saw something special between the two of you."

Liam blushed, dropping his eyes to the floor, "Yeah... everyone else seemed to notice before we did." he smiled warmly and Josh gave his shoulder a friendly slap.

"Better late than never though, hey?" he smiled and Liam nodded in agreement.

"I, uh... better go and find Niall."

"Yeah go ahead," Josh nodded quickly. "And... tell Niall I'm sorry, yeah? Get him to talk to me later on."

Liam smiled, "Don't worry, he'll talk to you."

After searching the entire arena Liam finally found Niall outside, sat in the car. He tapped lightly on the window and Niall unlocked the door, allowing Liam to join him.

The two sat in silence for a few minutes, Liam knew  Niall wasn't in a very good mood, and he wanted to wait for him to talk, when he was ready. He leant over and linked his hand with Niall's, letting him know silently that he was there for him.

Niall sighed heavily, trying to pull himself out of his dark mood. He felt Liam squeeze his hand and he turned to offer him a small smile.

"Sorry," he mumbled, moving his to rub his suddenly very tired eyes. "I'm just... Li, I cant get away from that fucking tumblr."

Liam rubbed his shoulder, desperate to ease some of his boyfriends tension, "Babe... you need to forget about it, and... if it's brought up again then you just play it off, joke around. If you clam you up then you're letting people know it was you."

"I can't help it," he mumbled, shaking his head. "I don't want people to know - not because of you and what we have, but... I don't want everyone to know what I turned to when I didn't know what was going on."

"No one is going to find out," Liam said, squeezing Niall's shoulder again.

Without uttering a word he got out of the car and headed inside to search out the boys.

He found them with no real effort; in the dressing room, messing around as always.

"Boys, I need to talk to you." Liam said, closing the door behind him.

"Sure thing, Li. What's up?" Louis smiled, sitting himself on the sofa, Harry joining him instantly.

"Look, Niall and me... we've had enough of your messing around - you need to stop it now."

"Whatever are you talking about?" Louis said, feigning confusion. Liam rolled his eyes, shaking his head - Jesus Christ the boys were really bloody tedious when you were the butt of their jokes.

"How are me and Niall supposed to work on our relationship when-"

"Oh, you're in a relationship, are you?" Harry said smirking.

Liam sighed heavily. "Don't pretend like you don't know."

"We have no idea what you're talking about, Liam." Louis said cheekily, giving Harry a playful nudge.

"Oh. My god," Liam muttered angrily, looking up at the ceiling, praying to a higher power for some fucking help! "You were there the day Niall got back from Ireland, you saw his bag by the front door - you just didn't know that I knew... that you knew."

"Okay..." Louis chuckled, clearly confused. "Did that make sense to you, lads?" he said turning to Harry and Zayn - quite frankly, Zayn was much more interested in his phone.

"Oh, I'm going for a smoke," Zayn sighed as he got up from the sofa and trudged out of the room.

Liam rocked back and forth on his heels, staring at Louis and Harry, waiting for one them to break and admit that they know about him and Niall, and their relationship.

"Alright," Louis caved first, sighing as he got up from the sofa. "I knew all along - mate, everyone knew - before you and Niall did."

"So I  keep being reminded," Liam muttered, arms folded. "So, can it all stop now?" he asked, pleading with his infamous puppy eyes.

"We were actually going to stop today - after the tumblr question at the show." Louis said, shoving his hands into his jeans pocket.

"Oh my god, that was you?!" Liam fumed, digging Louis on the arm.

"Ow! Why are you hitting me?!" Louis said, mouth open in shock, rubbing the spot Liam punched. Harry giggled into his hand, thinking he was at a safe distance from Liam. He moved forward, kicking Harry's shin.

"It's not funny, Harry!" he hissed, glaring.

"Alright!" Harry groaned, rubbing his shin. "God, you're so violent - I don't approve of that, Liam."

"You two are the reason why Niall's outside in the car, beating himself up over that fucking tumblr - we're trying to get away from it! He doesn't want anyone to know that it was his account."

Louis looked down at the floor, guilty. "Sorry, Liam." he mumbled.

"Yeah, sorry." Harry echoed, getting up to give Liam a hug. "For the record, we're really chuffed for you and Niall."

Liam chuckled, blushing, "Thank you."

"We only did what we did so you and Niall would cop on and do something - you were taking your bloody time!" Louis laughed, joining in on Harry's hugging of Liam.

"We're your biggest supporters, Li!" Harry said, playful tone to his voice.

Liam laughed loudly, pushing his two idiot friends off of him. "Right. Are we clear now - no more messing around?"

"No more messing," Louis and Harry said at the same time, both held out there pinky fingers for Liam. "Pinky promise, and you know I never break a pinky promise." Louis said, very serious. Liam laughed before linking his pinky finger with theirs.

\--

Back at the flat, Liam and Niall threw themselves down on the sofa, worn our from the gig and exhausted from the boys; once everyone knew the deal, they just wouldn't stop with the questions, and it didn't matter how in depth they went - especially Harry.

 

"Are you alright now?" Liam asked, grabbing hold of Niall's hand, squeezing it. Now that Niall was his, he just had to be touching him as much as he could - like he was afraid Niall was going to slip away at any moment.

"Yeah, better now," Niall smiled, leaning over to give Liam a sweet kiss. "Thanks for what you did...with the boys."

"It was nothing, babe," Liam shrugged, smiling because Niall was thanking him for something so small as telling their best friends to back off. "The boys need putting in their place every once in a while."

"Especially Harry and Louis," Niall chuckled, relaxing back into the sofa. Liam nodded in agreement, laughing.

"Everything's going to be alright now, isn't it?" Liam asked after a minute of silence.

"Yeah," Niall answered immediately, nodding. "I promise."

\--

The next day the boys had an early start for their rescheduled interview. They all piled out of the complex, eyes heavy with tiredness, barely even greeting each other as they got into the car.

"Right, lads," Paul said as he got into the drivers side. "I've got the info for today."

Liam sighed, pulling his hoody tight over his eyes, hoping to catch a bit of sleep on the journey to wherever they were going. He drowned out Paul's voice - he'd done enough press over the years to not need to know what to do, what to say, what not to answer, blah blah blah. 

Niall was quick to join Liam in getting a quick nap. He pulled his snapback over his eyes and leant his head on Liam's shoulder; discreetly placing his jumper between him and Liam so they could hold hands. Like a couple of lovesick teenagers.

\--

"Come on boys, hop to it!" Paul bellowed, clapping his hand loudly.

All five boys groaned as they piled out of the car.

"I'm getting too old for these early mornings!" Louis whined, pulling up his hood and stomping into the building.

"He says that now, but he'll be the most hyper in about half an hour," Niall laughed, falling into step beside Liam, desperate to hold his hand, or wrap his arms around him. But with the beady eyes of management all around them, he couldn't risk it. He'd witnessed what Harry and Louis had to go through, and he wasn't ready for that. He and Liam were just starting out, he wanted to enjoy every precious moment they spent together - he didn't want the pressure of management breathing down their necks, dictating what happened. No chance.

Niall pulled Liam into the toilets as they passed by, shocking Liam greatly.

"Bloody hell, babe," Liam laughed but was abruptly cut off by Niall kissing him, too passionately for the early hour. He groaned when Niall pulled away, "Don't stop." he mumbled, pouting sadly.

Niall chuckled, smoothing down the patch of Liam's hair he'd shamelessly pulled out of place, "That's to tide you over until later," he winked cheekily before stepping out of the door.

Liam shook his head, smiling. He moved to the sinks, to splash his face with cold water; to bring down the flush Niall had caused.

One of the toilet stall doors opened, making Liam's heart beat hard. He glanced in the mirror, seeing a member of his team step out - it wasn't even a casual member, like someone from hair or make-up, or even wardrobe, no it was management level person.

"I come in here for a piss, and what do I hear... you and bloody Niall snogging." he sighed, rubbing his forehead. He was always doing that; gets a lot of "stress headaches", he says. Liam had been tempted to tell him to quit, after hearing about the headaches far too many times.

"Listen, I can-"

"Save it," he said loudly, holding up his hand. "We'll talk later." he gave a stern nod before walking out the door. 

Liam groaned, slamming his hand down on the side. Why, he kept questioning to himself.

\--

Liam couldn't pay attention during the interview, leaving to boys to answer all of the questions, unless he was asked one directly. He even ignored Niall's light touches under the table, his comments made about Liam - nothing he hadn't heard before.

Once they were done Liam made a beeline for the door, hoping to make it to the car before management collared him. Niall had to jog to catch him up.

"Why you rushing?" Niall asked with a frown.

"They know," Liam hissed, keeping up his brisk walking pace.

"Who knows what?" Niall hissed back, unsure why there were whispering.

"Niall, Liam, over here. Now."

Liam groaned at hearing the voice of management. He stopped walking, turning to glance at Niall. "Management know." he sighed before he turned and headed in the direction he'd just come from.

"What?!" Niall said, a hushed sort of screech. He once again jogged to catch up with Liam; who had come to a stop outside of the room they had just been interviewed in - it was empty now, save for a few chairs, and three of management.

"Go in, take a seat, we have plenty to discuss."


	19. Chapter 19

Liam followed management through the door nervously, biting on his lip. He could feel Niall hot on his heels behind him, and wished that he could reach back and squeeze his hand; just to let him know that everything was going to be fine and they would be okay.

But he couldn’t.

All he could do was set his shoulders firmly and sit down in the seat indicated to him by Alex, one of the band’s senior managers. The elbow rest of the seat next to him knocked the elbow rest of Liam’s seat, the noise echoing loudly in the silent office, indicating that Niall had managed to stagger into the seat next to him.

The room they sat in was just a standard office. It had plain cream walls, littered with various awards dedicated to a couple of awards the boys had won, but to Liam it appeared very fake and pretentious. Almost like it had been created by every critic of One Direction, picturing them as a lazy manufactured boy band… And Liam hated that.

Alex sat down across the desk from Liam, with a stern looking woman on his right called Lisa if Liam remembered correctly, but if he was being honest, putting effort into remembering the name of some old bag who was about to cause him a hell of a lot of trouble wasn’t the top of his priority list right now.

Liam’s eyes were trained on the clock on the wall, and he reluctantly drew them away when Alex coughed quietly.

“Well first I would like to offer my sincere congratulations,” Alex began, looking at Niall and Liam in turn. “I had been concerned about rising tension over the past few months, but that does appear to have disappeared now.”

Liam tried to keep his face neutral as he processed what Alex had just said. Did he just say something _positive,_ and _nice_? Liam’s brain almost overloaded with questions but he forced himself to focus on Alex considering this conversation had gone in completely the opposite direction he had expected it to.

Next to Liam, Niall was frozen solid and didn’t say a word. Liam could practically feel tension rolling off him in waves.

“Thank you.” Liam replied quietly, still unsure as to how he should approach the situation.

“Er, yeah thanks.” Niall added stiffly, his feet shuffling under his chair.

“I imagine that you are concerned about how we are going to approach this, and I am bringing this point forward now. As a team we understand that our reaction towards Harry and Louis announcing their relationship was totally unacceptable and I am stressing the fact that we will approach this one very differently.”

Liam had to admit he was completely and utterly stunned.

“Yeah, it had er, crossed my mind.”

Alex just nodded before continuing. “May I just ask how long you have been in a relationship together?”

“Just a couple of weeks, really not long at all.” Liam answered, turning to look at Niall and offered him a small smile, and to his relief Niall’s shoulders visibly relaxed.

And Liam’s stress level went from nuclear to slightly less than nuclear when Niall spoke.

“Yeah, we’re realtively new to the whole ‘relationship thing’. We’re taking baby steps.” He added, voice still strained.

Liam wanted nothing more than to reach across and hold his hand comfortingly, but he didn’t want to push his luck with management just yet.

“Well,” Alex paused, a small frown appearing on his face, “maybe for now, we should keep your relationship on a strictly need to know basis?”

Taking a deep breath Liam just nodded, not entirely happy with the idea but he wanted to hear the plan in full before completely flipping a shit.

“After we take into account that your relationship on this level is fairly new, maybe we should see how it develops before taking it public. After all, if this does not work out it could have serious implications for the band, affecting both your working relationships in the studio and also your presence on stage etcetera.” Alex continued, waving his hand in the air dismissively. “I think we should see how you get on before we think about this in the public eye.”

As much as Liam hated to agree with Alex he knew he had a point. They were doing so well with management accepting their fairly new relationship, and Liam knew full well that the announcement of his relationship with Niall would have far reaching effects.

Alex mumbled under his breath and began tapping away on his laptop for a few seconds, and Lisa stood up from her seat and excited the room without saying and word, and Liam relaxed a little more.

“I do believe that the album recording is scheduled to finish this week, and you will then be off work til after Christmas. You will then begin the album promotion ready for release early March, yes?”

Liam and Niall both nodded.

“Well I think we needn’t worry about the public side of things if you keep things on a low level. We don’t know what the public reaction will be to this, and you two need to be a strong couple to take the rough with the smooth. If that’s alright?” Alex had the decency to look sheepish and Liam decided the guy was actually beginning to earn himself a place in Liam’s good book.

“Of course yeah.” Niall answered quickly, clearly wanting to get out of there as fast as possible.

“Well I shall let you get off, you’ve been here long enough already.” He stood up and extended his hand to Liam. “And we shall keep this on a low burner for now.”

Liam shook his hand somewhat numbly and followed Niall out in some sort of daze. A thought had wriggled into the back of his mind and Liam was struggling to shake it.

Usually Liam was able to think clearly and assess the situation logically, but the stress had taken its toll on Liam over the past few months and this thought had started a domino run that would surely lead to a catastrophe.

He wondered whether they would last.

He wondered whether they would make it to a month, two months, even a year.

It had taken Liam so long to get to this point, and caused him so much pain, he did begin to wonder whether this would actually be worth it.

Would the fans hate him? Would the band hate him if it went wrong?

The possibilities were endless and Liam’s brain was working overdrive. He barely even noticed that they had walked out of the building and had arrived at Niall’s car until Niall poked his hip.

“Li? You there?”

Liam jumped. “Er yeah, yeah I’m fine.” He climbed into the range rover and switched in the radio without saying another word, he needed time to think.

As much as he tried to move on, the thought kept bugging Liam. What if management were right though? Maybe the fact that it took so much work to get the relationship started in the first place was a sign that maybe they just wouldn’t last.

Liam was so wrapped up in own thoughts he barely noticed the worried looks Niall was throwing him every few seconds.

\--

Niall was worried.

Okay, well that was a flat out lie; he was having a complete internal meltdown.

To be honest, he’d freaked out a little bit when he’d walked into management’s office with Liam, and full on gobsmacked when they’d been so excepting of their relationship. He was more than a little relived though; he’d seen how much trouble Harry and Louis had gone through.

But it was Liam’s reaction now that had him worrying again.

Over the years that he had known the beautiful boy sitting on the other side of his car, he had come to know every wrinkle, every crease and every line of worry that crossed this boy’s face. And he knew the look on Liam’s face was one not to be taken lightly. It was his ‘I’m going to pretend I’m fine but really I’m about to implode’ face.

And Niall had absolutely no clue as to why Liam was feeling that way. He felt utterly powerless, and he didn’t like that in the slightest.

The rest of the drive home was silent, with just the low hum of the radio preventing the quiet atmosphere of the car descending into awkward silence. Niall didn’t even have the confidence to reach over and grab his hand to comfort him, in fact he had no idea what he should do, and the freaked the shit out of him.

He needed help, now.

Pulling into the car park of their apartment building Niall sighed and hopped out the car and followed Liam into the building. Once they were in the safe, enclosed environment Niall just thought ‘fuck it’ and as the lift doors shut he grabbed Liam’s hand and pulled him closer, kissing his cheek and resting his head on Liam’s shoulder.

“You alright Li?” He asked quietly, his voice echoing in the quiet lift.

“Yeah.” Liam replied, squeezing Niall’s hand.

Bullshit, Niall thought. But he didn’t say anything about it.

“You heading to the gym?”

“I think so yeah.” Liam paused and glanced down at his watch, “Shit, I’m gonna have to run or I’m going to be late. I’ll give you a ring when I get back.” He kissed Niall’s lips briefly before dashing out the lift doors and down the corridor and into his own flat, leaving Niall to wander out behind him slowly, biting his lip in worry.

As he ambled down the corridor Niall went over the conversation in management’s office, trying to think about anything that would set him off.

_‘We don’t know what the public reaction will be to this’_

Niall stopped dead in the middle of the corridor. He knew _exactly_ where Liam’s train of thought had gone from there.

Liam was worried about what the fans would think, he was worried they wouldn’t accept them. He had immediately thought that if this didn’t go well, it would be his fault and the band would split. And knowing Liam, Niall thought, he would have already over thought the situation a hundred times already.

The next thought Niall had hit him like a ton of bricks.

_Liam didn’t think they were going to last._

“Oh shit.” Niall cursed loudly, burying his face in his hands. He almost jumped out of his skin when a hand grabbed his shoulder. “Holy fuck! Oh shit, Harry, you scared the crap out of me dude.”

“Is everything okay?” Harry asked, his face creased with worry.

Shoulders sagging, Niall just shrugged. “Yes and no.”

Harry just sighed in reply to that and pulled him into flat and pushed him onto the sofa and plopped down beside him. “Right, what’s going on now?”

“Management were surprisingly okay actually.” Niall began, pausing as Harry gawped at him.

“Wow, really?”

“Yeah, but-”

“There’s always a but isn’t there Niall?” Harry grumbled.

“Shut up Harry.” Niall reached over and slapped his chest. “They wanted us to keep it quiet until the relationship was a bit more stable and… and Liam panicked and has run off to the gym.”

Harry sighed quietly and stared at the ceiling. “Why does your relationship have to cause so many bloody problems?”

“He’s worried about what the fans will think, and he doesn’t think we’re going to last.”

“Of course he doesn’t.” Harry sighed and pulled out his phone, tapping away before holding it to his ear. “Lou? We have problems. Get Zayn and Perrie here now before Niall starts freaking out. No, hold on, I’ll explain when you get here okay. No, he’s not crying yet. Liam’s AWOL at the gym. Okay, bye. Love you too.”

Niall didn’t have a good feeling about what was going to happen. 


	20. Chapter 20

Liam planned to hi t  the gym hard; as soon as he was dressed and his earphones were secure in his ears, he set at working away his worries and stress. He was still completely stunned by management’s acceptance of his relationship with Niall - he really hadn't been expecting it. He guessed that they'd had enough trouble with Louis and Harry that they decided never to go through the hassle again.

But more so, Liam was worried about the fan reaction, and if he and Niall would last. They had fought hard to get to where they were; surely they were strong enough to stick it out? He really should have stayed home and spoke to Niall about things – how many times had he been infuriated over Niall and his inability to discuss things, and running to tumblr. Here he was, doing the same thing, except he was at the gym. Then the thought struck him. He could go onto tumblr, to see what people thought about him and Niall. That was sure to settle his mind! What better place to find out a fans reaction than tumblr. Liam knee how good the theories were on there - Louis and Harry's relationship had been subject to many – if he could find just one theory dictating he and Niall were forever, then he'd be ecstatic.

Obviously he wasn't going to tell Niall what he was doing – he ’d  be furious. After all, it was the website that nearly ended their relationship before it had even began. Liam loved Niall deeply, and he really didn't want to deceive him in such a way, but he had to do something to settle his worries and anxieties.

\--

Niall was pacing the living room, constantly dialling Liam’s phone and he wasn’t getting an answer. He knew Liam wasn’t answering because he was at the gym, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t driving him crazy.

He had sent the boys home – it was nice of Harry to rally the troops, but it wasn’t their mess to sort out. Still they offered their best advice like Niall knew they would; he would never find friends quite like Harry, Louis and Zayn. He was very luck to spend almost every day with them. And of course there was Liam. Niall loved him so much, that’s why it was so frustrating that he’d just buggered off to the gym without so much as an explanation!

Niall’s phone began ringing in his hand and he answered it without looking, “Hello, Liam?”

“Uh… no, it’s Jennifer – the receptionist from  First fitness  gym,” a nervous voice rattled through the phone. Niall frowned, wondering why she was calling him.

“Oh, um… sorry, I’m waiting for a call.”

“That’s ok, I’m actually calling about Liam.”

“Ok…” Niall said slowly, trying not to panic – what could possibly have happened for the gym receptionist to call.

“Liam has had a bit of an accident and he’s been taken to accident and emergency.”

Niall felt panic bubble up inside of him, “Is he ok – what happened to him?”

“Oh, he fine,” she replied quickly. “He was lifting some weight, one was not secured properly and it dropped onto his foot. Liam told me not to call anyone but I could leave him to hobble home by himself.”

Niall frowned, “If Liam told you not to call then… how do you have my number?”

“Oh, um… this is Niall, isn’t it?”

“Uh, yeah,” he replied dumbly.

“You are down here as Liam’s emergency contact,” she said, sounding very flustered and Niall felt awful. He wasn’t trying to catch her out on anything; he was genuinely confused. But his confusion quickly faded and a smile formed – Liam had listed him as an emergency contact – that was a huge step in any relationship, and Niall had been bloody clueless to it!

“Yes, I’m sorry,” Niall said quickly, composing himself. “I just… I wasn’t sure where Liam’s mum was listed as the official kind of emergency contact, you know?”

“Oh, yeah, that’s ok,” Jennifer said, loudly sighing in relief. “I’m sorry if I worried you, Niall.”

“No, no, you didn’t – it’s all fine!”

“Ok, well… Liam is at University Hospital in North London.”

Niall nodded as he moved to grab his car keys, “Got it, thanks, Jennifer!”

\--

Liam sat in the surprisingly empty accident and emergency waiting room, his foot propped up on the seat next to him. He pulled his phone from his pocket and he went straight to the app store to download tumblr. It seemed to take forever for him to get it, create an account, and sign himself in. he had plenty of time – however empty it may seem, he knew he’d be waiting in a+e for a while.

“ Jesus  Christ, Liam!”

Liam’s head snapped up at the sound of Niall’s voice. He looked flustered as he rushed over and sat beside Liam.

“What are you doing here?” he asked dumbly, although he had a pretty good idea – Jennifer had a good heart, but sometimes she just didn’t know when to take a step back.

“The people at the gym rang me and told me you’d had an accident.” Niall said softly and Liam felt guilt rip through him – he had purposely told them not to contact anyone so he could deceive Niall and spend a couple of hours on tumblr, like it was the best available relationship self-help book!

“I’m fine though,” Liam mumbled, placing his phone back into his pocket. Niall softly placed his hand on Liam’s back, in between his shoulder blades.

“I’m here for you now.”

Liam didn’t have to sit and wallow in guilt for long as his name was called. Niall offered his arm while Liam hobbled off to the nurse triage room.

\--

Two hours passed, Liam had an x-ray done and he was just waiting for the results. A+E seemed to have gotten busier, either that or Liam had been forgotten about!

Niall had wandered off to top up the car parking ticket, so Liam went back to tumblr, despite his best efforts at talking himself out of it. He just couldn’t stop himself.

He searched for ‘Niam’; he knew that was what his and Niall’s couple name was. He was transfixed as he scrolled through post after post about him and Niall – so many pictures; back from when they were on the XFactor right up to the most recent concert. Their relationship was documented for everyone to see, and it made Liam smile.

“Everything ok in here?” the voice startled Liam, but luckily it wasn’t Niall, but a young woman dressed in pair of black trouser and a pale pink blouse; the doctor, he assumed.

“Yes, great thanks,” he smiled warmly as he locked his phone and slipped it back into his pocket.

“I’m Doctor Harper,” she smiled, offering her hand for Liam to shake. “I have revie we d your x-ray and I have good news – nothing is broken – just a lot of bruising.”

“Oh, thank god for that!”

“I suggest you keep the weight off your foot for the next few days, and I have prescribed you some paracetamol and ibuprofen for the pain.” She handed Liam a prescription sheet.

“Thanks very much,” Liam smiled as he shook her hand once more. She offered him a simple nod before she left the cubicle space.

Liam was relieved, not only to have been saved from a broken foot, but to finally be able to go home.

As he was hopping down off the bed, Niall reappeared. “Are ya done – can you go home?”

Liam nodded, “Nothing broken, thankfully.”

“Fucking hell – I’ve just put another fiver in that machine!”

Liam chuckled, throwing his arm around Niall’s shoulder. “Stop whinging and take me home.”

\--

The drive home was quiet, but far from being awkward. Liam knew that Niall had plenty he wanted to say; his grip on the steering wheel and his nervous playing with the radio spoke volumes to Liam.

As the car was parked and Niall cut off the engine, Liam put his hand on Niall’s arm.

“I’m sorry for running off – that was very unfair of me.”

Niall shrugged, offering a smile, “It’s all fine. I understand.”

“I was just… thrown by the acceptance.” Liam shrugged.

Niall grabbed hold of Liam’s hand, squeezing it, “I just want you to know that… I love you and I’m not going anywhere.”

\--

The two boys spent the rest of the evening watching TV , they ordered a takeaway  because  they couldn’t be bothered to cook.

“I’m just going to grab a shower,” Niall announced, standing up, yawning and stretching loudly.

Liam nodded, “I think I’ll head to bed.”

After Niall helped Liam into bed and he was settled, Liam grabbed his phone and went back to tumblr – after his little spree he was hooked, and he had to get back to what he saw before. He knew now why Niall couldn’t tear himself away from the site.

He really shouldn’t have, seen as Niall had worn his heart on his sleeve and told Liam exactly how it was. Liam didn’t even offer Niall a single inkling about his feelings – he loved Niall so much, and he didn’t even tell him that!

He didn’t know what was going on; his head was all over the place, when really he should be ecstatic – the one set of people who had the power to put a stop to his relationship had rolled over and played ball – why was he still so worried? He knew why – he was terrified of losing Niall; at the end of all of this he knew he was dependant on that boy, he couldn’t live without him. If he lost Niall, he would lose everything else around him too – his best friends, his band, his career, his adoring fans. But he couldn’t draw together the words to tell Niall that. He was doing what Niall had done before; he was bottling up his feelings and he was prepared to tell the internet world instead.

Niall appeared half an hour later, tearing Liam’s attention away from his phone and the tumblr page title: ‘niamisreal’ – it went into extensive detail as to why Liam and Niall were “real”, and Liam just couldn’t stop reading.

Niall climbed into bed and Liam quickly stuffed his phone under his pillow.

“How’s the foot – any pain?” Niall asked as he snuggled close to Liam.

“Not too bad – I can cope for now,” Liam smiled fondly.

“How about I distract you for a little bit?” Niall said as he slipped his hand into Liam’s boxers, and kissed him with such passion that it knocked the breath right out of him.

\--

Niall woke around 3am, desperate for a drink. After his passionate night between the sheets with Liam, Niall had passed out almost instantly, wrapped up in Liam and he couldn’t think of ever getting bored of it.

After his drink Niall padded back to the bedroom, smiling adorably at Liam asleep with his hanging open. He climbed back into bed, snuggling close to his boyfriend and slipping his hand under his pillow. He rolled his eyes when his hand came into contact with Liam’s phone – why did he never put it on the bedside table – that’s what they’re there for!

Niall clicked the lock button to make sure it was secure, and Liam didn’t have an alarm set for silly o’clock in the morning. His heart dropped when he saw what was on the screen. A tumblr page. And not just any tumblr page – one which outlined why ‘Niam’ were real.

Niall grew very angry – did Liam not think what they had was real, after everything they had been through up until this point?! Did he think so little of their relationship, and Niall himself that he turned to tumblr for “advice”?  Was  he purposely trying to fuck with Niall’s head?

Niall put the phone back under Liam’s pillow and turned away from Liam, hoping to fall back to sleep and to forget about what he saw, but it seemed to be near impossible.  And he didn’t know how he was going to confront Liam about it, without having a roaring argument with him.

Niall was growing angrier and more stressed; things weren’t supposed to be this way – they weren’t supposed to be backwards and forwards like this; up and down with their happiness and emotions. Why couldn’t it just be simple and easy, like Harry and Louis. How could Niall prove to Liam that he was the one for him, forever and always. How was he going to show him that, and show the whole world too. He had to do something, and it had to be done quickly, before Liam got sucked into the world of tumblr and they never got away from it.

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

Liam blinked slowly, yawing loudly. His head fell back against the pillow and he reached for Niall, his arm curling round the other boy’s slim waist; but Niall felt stiff, and wooden.

“Niall?” he rasped, pulling himself up onto his elbows. “Niall are you okay?”

To Liam’s annoyance Niall just ignored him. This was a little weird, hadn’t they finally got things sorted? What the hell was going on now? Liam reached up to touch the dark shadows lingering under Niall’s eyes. “Seriously Niall, what’s the matter? Are you in pain, haven’t you slept?” Niall still hadn’t said a word, this was slightly worrying.

“You didn’t tell me tumblr had caught your eye.” Niall began quietly, his voice low and monotonous.

It felt like a stone had dropped in Liam’s stomach. “Niall…”

“No, don’t ‘Niall…’ me.” Niall snapped. “Do you not think we’re proper or something fucking stupid like that? You’re making the same fucking mistakes I did, and you can clearly see where that got us.”

Liam was not in the mood to deal with anymore shit. He wanted a relationship with Niall, and he wanted it now, obstacles or not they were going to get somewhere. Sitting up properly he stretched, grinning internally as Niall’s eyes flickered down Liam’s muscular chest, before pulling Niall onto his lap; who was sitting as tense as he possibly could.

“Niall. I was on tumblr because I was curious, not because I was doubtful in the slightest. Our relationship has had the most turbulent start imaginable, and I’d rather we hit the ground running now. I started looking at our tag when I was waiting in A&E, I was bored and I thought it would be a bit of an eye opener you know? Jesus Niall, I got so bloody emotional just looking at pictures! I realised just how stupid I’ve been I’m sorry-” Liam’s voice cracked and stuttered to a stop. In his lap, Niall turned until he was straddling Liam; a leg either side Liam’s wide hips.

“I haven’t slept a wink I was _so fucking worried_ about what you thought Liam.” Niall whispered, leaning his forehead lightly against Liam’s. “We’re a right pair of twats aren’t we?”

Nodding, Liam leaned up and kissed Niall softly, not trusting his voice quite yet.

After a few moments Niall drew back. “How’s your foot?”

“A little sore.”

Niall kissed Liam again before climbing off his lap and padding towards the kitchen. “I’ll get you some meds and breakfast.” He walked out the door before popping his head back in and pointing at Liam threateningly. “And don’t move a muscle.”

Lifting his hand up in a mock salute Liam grinned, before pushing the duvet off himself and hobbling towards the toilet. He managed to make it back in relatively short time, and buried himself beneath the duvet and waited for Niall to return.

\--

The smell of bacon wafting through the flat had Liam sitting up from the lazy doze he had slipped into. When Liam heard Niall’s shuffling feet coming down the corridor he sat up, wincing as his foot bend at a funny angle. He hissed quietly as he twisted it around into a more comfortable position, relaxing as the pain subsided.

“I’ve got some more drugs for your foot.” Niall called as a greeting as he walked back into the bedroom, carrying a precariously balanced pile of food on a tray. “Oh, and breakfast.” Slowly, he leant down and placed the tray on the bed before clambering carefully onto the bed next to Liam, snuggling into his side. “You moved!” He whined accusingly, frowning at Liam.

“I needed a piss!” Liam cried in self-defence, holding his hands up in protest.

“Excuses, excuses.” Niall grumbled, but Liam could see the smirk he was trying to hide, so he gathered he was in the clear.

Making grabby hands at the drugs Liam swallowed them before falling back on the pillows in relief; as he’d become more awake the pain in his foot had increased, much to Liam’s annoyance.

“Your foot hurting?”

“Just a little.” Liam replied wincing as his foot caught the duvet again.

“You are an absolute twat you know. How are we going to explain this?” Niall threw his hands up in frustration, almost sending the tray flying. Managing to grab the tray at the last moment Niall smiled sheepishly. “We should probably eat this.” On the tray were a small pile of croissants and two large cups of tea. “It’s not much. Sorry.”

Liam pressed a soft kiss to Niall’s cheek before grabbing a croissant. “You brought me breakfast, in bed. You’re bloody amazing.”  

Blushing, Niall shoved a croissant into his mouth and handed Liam a cup of tea, taking his own and putting the tray with the remaining croissants on the bedside table.

“I hope you know I’m not going to let in the gym for at least a year you know.” Niall sighed into the comfortable silence.

“I did suspect such a punishment.” Liam groaned, but he couldn’t give a shit, he was perfectly happy to savour the moment he was in thank you very much.

 The conversation trailed off for a bit after that; with Niall making his way through the remaining croissants and Liam sipping his tea in a relaxed daze. It was nice sitting like this. So different from the way things had been going recently with the arguing and the miscommunication.  Leaning over slightly Liam placed his almost empty tea cup on the bedside table next to him, and almost immediately Niall was snuggling into his side.

“M’making up for lost time.” Niall mumbled into Liam’s t-shirt.

“But we’ve always done this…”

“Not properly Li, not like, with feelins and stuff.” Niall replied; his voice muffled. 

“I, I guess so.” Liam muttered before pressing a kiss to Niall’s forehead.

Niall lifted his head up. “You missed.”

Liam leant forward again, and kissed Niall softly on his lips. Niall tasted like tea, like the home Liam so often missed, like safety he always craved. “Bulls eye” He mumbled against Niall’s lips before Niall’s head fell back against the pillows.

A loud bang from the front of Liam’s flat bought them back to reality a little more quickly than either of them would have liked.

“Shite.” Niall whispered.  “Hide!” And ducked his head under the duvet pulling on Liam’s elbow.

Liam grudgingly followed, burrowing under the thick duvet. “S’not too bad around here is it.” He whispered.

“Shhh!” Niall hushed, slapping his hand over Liam’s mouth, “they’ll hear you.”

Liam was about to respond, but he stopped his tracks when Louis’ voice floated through the door.  “Harry darling, I don’t think anyone’s home.”

Harry’s voice was even closer, “No shit. I… The dirty scoundrels! Louis! I think there might be nakedness.”

“Well fuck…” Niall mumbled, gripping Liam’s hand tightly. “This is going to be embarrassing.”

And to be quite honest, Liam wasn't really sure how much more his heart could take. He was pretty sure this relationship with Niall would never be boring in the slightest though. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd just like to thank every fucking one of you who has read this and left kudos or a comment. This was bigger than I ever could have imagined and it was awesome to see what you guys thought.


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